All of your burning philosophical questions answered

@George,

At least fourteen, alas.

Note - this answer is not confined to one gender. This is why I'm considering emptying a half a can of chartreuse paint on my vehicle. It'll look ugly, but I'll always find it. And, perhaps, get good parking, as no one wants to be tainted with the mojo of even parking next to a butt-ugly car.

This is why it was rare to see dented or scratched (keyed was another story) Pacers, back in the day.

May your Xmas lights have all their bulbs burning. At the same time, no less.

0 Replies

@jespah,

My trilling is thrilling. I don't begrudge third world trillers a few hundred million bucks. I'll settle for one million. But I don't wanna buy a ticket unless I'm sure I'll win.

So, noo?

1 Reply

@Roberta,

Much is uncertain in life.

Make sure all your selected #s are prime ones.

May most of your adverbs end in -ly.

1 Reply

@jespah,

By the time I figure out prime number, someone else will have won. I'm getting the feeling, oh great master of the question, that I've stumped you.

And most of my adverbs do end in ly.

Don't cop out on me!! I was counting on you.

1 Reply

@Roberta,

This knowledge is highly specialized, not to mention dangerous. Imagine all the trilling Staten Islanders who would beat me senseless! Therefore I must lay low and not be so open with the information.

I am, also, a philosopher. Odds and whatnot are more math-y stuff. Close but no cigar, like the difference between mayo and Miracle Whip.

May you squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube of life.

1 Reply

@jespah,

is the tube of life NSFW?

1 Reply

@Rockhead,

You mean like a rubber?

1 Reply

@farmerman,

Rubbers -

http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/images/39/2007/02/galoshes.jpg

0 Replies

Lo, philosophers! I am here to answer your burning questions!

1 Reply

@jespah,

The sage is back. I'm thrilled. I'm stunned. I'm speechless (doesn't happen often).

0 Replies

If all you need is love, why did I have to pay for that record?

1 Reply

Oh, great knower and seer. I have a question. When did standing up become such a production? I used to stand up without even thinking about it. Now I have to plan ahead. Have a place for my hands. Push myself up. You'd think that as I shrink, verticality would be easier. What sayest thou?

1 Reply

@George,

George wrote:

If all you need is love, why did I have to pay for that record?

Wisdom comes from vinyl, guidance from CDs, and a lotta pixels come from iTunes.

May your dreams of driving a Honda Civic remain G-rated.

1 Reply

@jespah,

jespah wrote:

. . . May your dreams of driving a Honda Civic remain G-rated.

How big is the back seat?

1 Reply

@Roberta,

Roberta wrote:

Oh, great knower and seer. I have a question. When did standing up become such a production? I used to stand up without even thinking about it. Now I have to plan ahead. Have a place for my hands. Push myself up. You'd think that as I shrink, verticality would be easier. What sayest thou?

Standing may get our brains closer to God, but it gets them farther from our hearts. This creates a conundrum which is only satisfied by placing your hands in another's pockets. This explains politicians.

May the Jack Russell terrier of delight yap at your holiday season.

1 Reply

@George,

George wrote:

jespah wrote:
. . . May your dreams of driving a Honda Civic remain G-rated.
How big is the back seat?

Big enough for you to transport a six-pack of Schlitz across the Monongahela River.

Only Schlitz, and only the Monongahela. It's an oddly specific Civic.

1 Reply

@jespah,

jespah wrote:

. . . It's an oddly specific Civic.

I tried saying this aloud and hurt myself.

1 Reply

@George,

This is why voice recognition will never really catch on.

May your onion rings be crispy.

0 Replies

@jespah,

jespah wrote:

Roberta wrote:
Oh, great knower and seer. I have a question. When did standing up become such a production? I used to stand up without even thinking about it. Now I have to plan ahead. Have a place for my hands. Push myself up. You'd think that as I shrink, verticality would be easier. What sayest thou?

Standing may get our brains closer to God, but it gets them farther from our hearts. This creates a conundrum which is only satisfied by placing your hands in another's pockets. This explains politicians.

Phooey on politicians. I knew a girl in high school who used to do that--handwise and pocketwise. She was very popular. I didn't realize that she was torn between godliness and heartliness. I thought she was a tremp.

1 Reply

@Roberta,

Roberta wrote:

jespah wrote:

Roberta wrote:
Oh, great knower and seer. I have a question. When did standing up become such a production? I used to stand up without even thinking about it. Now I have to plan ahead. Have a place for my hands. Push myself up. You'd think that as I shrink, verticality would be easier. What sayest thou?

Standing may get our brains closer to God, but it gets them farther from our hearts. This creates a conundrum which is only satisfied by placing your hands in another's pockets. This explains politicians.

Phooey on politicians. I knew a girl in high school who used to do that--handwise and pocketwise. She was very popular. I didn't realize that she was torn between godliness and heartliness. I thought she was a tremp.

Which is close to Trump, thereby creating a nifty congruence in the universe and possibly causing his bad toupée to become sentient.

Don't blame me when the wigs take over. And that's wigs, not Whigs.

May you be amply supplied with spearmint gum.

0 Replies

All of your burning philosophical questions answered

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know