The Eagles cheated!

plus -- Cops Looking for Eagles Fan Who Stole a Man’s Prosthetic Leg ...

I didn't see any Giants players on the field.
Where were they?

So, how many runs did they beat you by?

Ahhh...ya never know what to expect from an Eagle's fan.

It was horrible it was.

Wrong game, Lordy.

Bugger!


You must be referring to that slippy game with the puck then, yes?


<goes to find tin hat>

No...this is about American football...National Football League play.

The NY Giants stunk up the stadium last night...and I am trying to put as positive a face on it as possible.

Final score was 27 - 0.

27 - 0?

Over here, we call that a damned good thrashing.

We do the same thing over here, Lordy. Although more often we call it a major league ass-kicking.

Lemme 'splain, Lordie.

We have a game called 'football' that is as unlike your 'football' as possible without having our game being played using a big rock or a beer barrel to score points.

Eleven men on two sides square off, taking turns (or downs) to try to move a ball shaped like a parabola across goal lines located at the narrow ends of a rectangularily shaped field. We paint numbers and stripes on the field in order to keep track of far the ball has been moved. Each side is actually composed of two squads of eleven, one tries to move the ball, the other acts to stop the other team from moving the ball. At no time do any of these players touch the ball with their foot.
If a team moves the ball, either by running with it or by one guy throwing it to another player in the end zone, they score a touchdown, even though they don't have to touch the ball to the ground in order to score, in fact, if the ball touched the ground, it wouldn't count.

How much does a touchdown count?
In your football, if a player put the ball in the net, his team gets...ONE point.
In our football, if a team makes a touchdown, they get ....SIX points.
Why?
Because we value using your feet less than using your hands.

You only get ONE point if the kicker (YES, there is a guy who KICKS the ball) puts the ball through the uprights after a touchdown. OR
the team get THREE points if the kicker can kick it through from the field of play.
Wait, you say, isn't it harder to kick a parabola shaped ball a long distance accurately, yet a kick scores less points than a touchdown??? I know. It's just part of the stupidity er, complexity of the game.

We also count lots of other stuff, we count tackles, we count sacks, we count yards gained or lost on the ground or in the air, NONE of which gives either team any points. We just like to know.

Here's a better explanation:


Hope this helps.

Joe(it didn't help me)Nation

So that's what happened to the Seahawks yesterday!

That is possibly the best explanantion that I have ever seen, Joe.

I now feel as if I am fully conversant with the game and how it is played.

Thank you.





Just one thing though. What does the pitcher do when all this stuff is going on?

Good explanation of that weird Murrican football. Bears no resemblance at all to any other game called football.

Fair question, Lordy, 'bout the pitcher - he probably holds the magic water!

The pitcher (although he may also be referred to as the "flunky") stands around on the sidelines and squirts water from a bottle into the player's mouth, usually when the player is too tired to keep chasing the guy with the ball or running with the ball from the guy chasing him with the ball and has to run off the field to catch his breath. It is a very unappreciated and often overlooked job and I am sure is well underpaid, but somebody has to do it.

See...the magic water! Huge responsibility