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"Stab you in the back" co-worker

 
 
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 08:35 am
I work with a women who is constantly emailing the boss about what the rest of the staff is doing wrong. When shes not emailing them she is in the office talking about us and that she is the only one that does anything. She has been a stay at home mother for 15 years and this is her first real job. I feel like I'm back in JR High. Is it because she has been home so long and does not know how to treat people in the working world?
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 1,650 • Replies: 16
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engineer
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 08:46 am
@donnahussey,
I would do you job and don't worry about her. The boss is probably more frustrated reading her emails than he is concerned about your performance. As long as the boss is satisfied with your work, those complaints will backfire.
0 Replies
 
donnahussey
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 08:54 am
@donnahussey,
I don't feel like I have anything to worry about. Management know that I do a good job and give it my all. I think this will all backfire on her. I hope I'm around to see the show!
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 09:17 am
@donnahussey,

it prolly will backfire on her.

for the most part, when you feel a certain way about a bad co-worker, chances are excellent that everyone else feels
the same way -- including management...
Ceili
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 09:23 am
@donnahussey,
Yup, we've all worked with her at one time or another. The bitch who ain't happy till the rest of us are miserable, the mean girl who didn't mature and learn to play nice. The one who still takes her cues from the grade two teacher, who encouraged the tattle tale behavior. I've been there, I hated her too.
There are a million things you could do, but you'd be playing her game. Probably not worth it in the end. But I hear ya. I wish this type of character would crawl back under the rock...
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 09:48 am
@donnahussey,
Agreed with those below - I don't think it is because she stayed home so long - people who have constantly been the workforce can be a$$holes and JR Highish too.

More likely she stayed home so long because she is an a$$ and can't get along with others.
0 Replies
 
donnahussey
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 09:56 am
@Region Philbis,
You are right! Everyone hates her! When I first started working with her I tryed to keep an open mind. Then I saw her in action. Now I feel like the rest.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 12:31 pm
What I hate even more are the fellow workers who claim to hate this person (almost every office has one to a degree) but still go out to lunch with her and hang out with her. I always believed that if these tattletales were frozen out and treated like pariah, they would either stop their foolishness or go elsewhere. But others in the office tolerate her and pretend to be her friend. That really makes me sick.
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 01:02 pm
@eoe,
I'm right there with you, eoe. I find that sort of behavior hypocritical. When I don't like someone, I avoid being around them, and I don't speak to them (or about them) unless it's absolutely necessary. In fact, even though I keep my mouth shut, it's usually obvious to everyone that I don't like that person. Maybe because I'm usually pretty effusive with praise for coworkers.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 01:58 pm
Same here. If I don't care for you, I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I'm civil towards you of course and will work with you because I am a professional and value my job (hopefully) but are not friends, we will never engage in chitchat, I will never invite you to lunch and if you invite me, I will politely decline.
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 03:31 pm
@eoe,
Actually, I'm pretty good at chitchat with people I don't like. (Spent too long in PR, I suspect.) Smile

But...lunch? Forget it.

Right now I'm avoiding a certain new coworker who really rubbed me the wrong way at our first meeting. I explained a couple of points to her as an aside, trying to help her as a new person understand the group's values and dynamics, only to have her turn around and repeat them as if they were her own insights in order to make points with the group leader.

See if I tell her anything again!
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 03:38 pm
@Eva,
Oh, man, that used to drive me nuts. I was for a number of years a senior project manager in a firm that grew (well, not like big firms, but let's say took on new designers over time) and I would help the newbies. I can't remember just how many times I heard the new person praised for his or her great idea by the boss. I didn't stop helping, no skin off my teeth re my position and having our designers know stuff was a plus, but I developed a certain sardonic watchfulness on human nature doing its thing.
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 03:50 pm
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:
but I developed a certain sardonic watchfulness on human nature doing its thing.


It really is an amazing thing to observe, isn't it?
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 03:51 pm
@Eva,
Eva wrote:

Actually, I'm pretty good at chitchat with people I don't like. (Spent too long in PR, I suspect.) Smile


Laughing Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
 
donnahussey
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2009 04:45 pm
@Eva,
Thats what this co-worker does. Takes everyones ideas and takes credit for them. The rest of the staff hasn't said anything to her but I can't keep my tongue in my pocket and I'm sure the time will come and I will confront her. (and it will not be pretty)
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Sep, 2009 10:34 pm
@donnahussey,
There is a good way to deal with people like this, although it is a bit evil.

1. Start telling them wrong things...bad information.

2. Look incredulous when they try to blame you. If you have even a half-decent reputation where you work, nobody will believe them.

Normally it only takes one time, then you don't have to worry about them talking to you anymore. Hope I don't have to do this to Ms. Newbie, but thanks for reminding me. Wink
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Sep, 2009 10:53 pm

Its not usually a good idea to go around promiscuously trusting people
with more than u r willing to lose.





David
0 Replies
 
 

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