Mathos Room For The Insane

The Mathos room for insane
Is not for the boring or plain
If you shout at the moon
Wearing fruit of the loom
You'll be welcome to post here again.

Using custard to cool a hot curry
Thinking Henman is better than Murray
Whistling jazz in the nude
'Til your cuppa is brewed
Means you'd better post here in a hurry.

If your wallclock goes up to thirteen
You exfoliate using ice cream
Get turned on by your granny
When she kisses aunt Fanny
Then this is the place to be seen.

If your armpit hair's dyed Prussian blue
And you yodel whilst having a poo
Blow dry your piranha
Then feed it banana
This thread is the right place for you.

If you hop on the spot reading Shelley
Whilst rubbing warm fudge on your belly
Wash your socks in warm cider
email your pet spider
Then post here and bring your aunt Nelly.

Doowop!!!

You'll do for me bud!


__________________________________________


Born in the heat of the desert
My mother died giving' me life
Deprived of the love of a father
Blamed for the loss of his wife

You know Lord, I've been in prison
For something that I have never done
It's been one hill after another
But I've climbed them all one by one

But this time, Lord, you gave me a mountain
A mountain I may never climb
And it isn't a hill any longer
You gave me a mountain this time!

What a **** day!

Whatever happened to the insanity?

okay! now i'm worried!

The man who can sing
If he ain't got a thing
Is the king
Of the whole wide world!


Insanity Rules...OK :wink:

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"

Some people stay far away from the door
If there's a chance of it opening up
They hear a voice in the hall outside
And hope that it just passes by

Some people live with the fear of a touch
And the anger of having been a fool
They will not listen to anyone
So nobody tells them a lie

I know you're only protecting yourself
I know you're thinking of somebody else
Someone who hurt you
But I'm not above
Making up for the love
You've been denying you could ever feel
I'm not above doing anything
To restore your faith if I can
Some people see through the eyes of the old
Before they ever get a look at the young
I'm only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am

Some people say they will never believe
Another promise they hear in the dark
Because they only remember too well
They heard somebody tell them before

Some people sleep all alone every night
Instead of taking a lover to bed
Some people find that it's easier to hate
Than to wait anymore

I know you don't want to hear what I say
I know you're gonna keep turning away
But I've been there and if I can survive
I can keep you alive
I'm not above going through it again
I'm not above being cool for a while
If you're cruel to me I'll understand

Some people run from a possible fight
Some people figure they can never win
And although this is a fight I can lose
The accused is an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man

You know you only hurt yourself out of spite
I guess you'd rather be a martyr tonight
That's your decision
But I'm not below
Anybody I know
If there's a chance of resurrecting a love
I'm not above going back to the start
To find out where the heartache began

Some people hope for a miracle cure
Some people just accept the world as it is
But I'm not willing to lay down and die
Because I am an innocent man

I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man

Mr Mathos---

your case has been safely filed...

you ARE an innocent man!

very innocent indeed....

whenever you like, I'll have you shifted to the Death Cell!

With regards,
Me

OK I'll take room 897 again, I like it in there!

Did they find the trap door yet?

Damned as it is...but no! actually NO!!!

Now you appreciate The Mathos science of seeing is believing! Surely

ofcourse not!

just because I've never seen a bomb, I deny it's existence?

Haven't you appreciated the theory that three into two cannot make a mint out of a fallen arch!

that was a clear statement!!

btw, did you create this room *all hail at the mention* to invent sanity...????

I think it's working...

Weren't you ever informed that sarcasm is the poorest, indeed lowest form of wit?


Do you appreciate, I have a certificate to prove my sanity, not so many can claim such a personal tribute!

like WOW!!!!



good joke


next...

If you don't beleive me, I will arrange for Doctor to confirm in writing to you at the earliest convenience!


Will that satisfy your cravings?

That's better, gob-smacked for once!

How insane do you need to be to be allowed in here?