Reply
Mon 7 May, 2007 05:06 am
Hello Roy, how did you get here?
I drove all night.
Wow, where were you born?
I was born on the wind
When?
Between the sunset and the dawn
What are you looking at behind those shades?
A pretty woman,
Walking down the street
Pretty Woman
The Kind I like to meet
Pretty Woman yeah, yeah, yeah
Pretty Woman look my way
RrrrrrrrrrrrrrMercy..........
Why don't you take them shades off?
I'm Crying, crying, crying over you.
What have I done wrong?
Don't talk about her
She does the best she can
How's the relationship going Roy?
It's over, it's over, it's over......
What's her name?
Cladette, Pretty Little thing Cladette
What are you doing now then?
I'm running scared,
Afraid to lose
If she came back
Which one would she choose
Who on earth are you working for these days?
I'm working for the man
What were you singing on top of the Empire State Building?
I'm falling, I'm falling.........
This is getting daft Roy, how do you feel now?
Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely know this feeling
Isn't right..
It'll work out right in the end Roy, trust me,
If, I my friend can't tell you
When you my friend are wrong
Not to do
What you want to
Just because it's wrong
Where are you going now Roy?
I'm going back some day
Going to stay on Blue Bayou
Oh The fishing boats
With their sails of gold
If I could only see
(Take them daft glasses off and you might be able to)
That familiar sunrise
Through sleepy eyes
How happy I'd be
Will you get over this Roy?
It's too soon to know
If I can forget her
My hearts been broken
In too many pieces,
And it's too soon to know...............
Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes?
Can you still dance the Mambo Roy?
Hey mambo, mambo Italiano hey hey mambo mambo Italiano
Go go go you mixed up Siciliano
All you Calabrese do the mambo like-a crazy with the
Hey mambo don't wanna tarantella, Hey mambo no more mozzarella
Hey mambo mambo Italiano
Try an gelato with a pesce baccalĂ
Pardon me, boy
Is that the Chatanooga Choo-Choo
Track twenty nine,
Boy, you can give me a shine,
I can afford
To board a Chatanooga Choo-Choo,
I've got my fare
And just a trifle to spare.
what's on the road, a head?
gazing at your yellow railroad, from the ruins of your balcony
Roy oh roy I didn't see this one coming.
Meet Roy the drunk!
Roy walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs Roy that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?
Roy is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, Roy stumbles in the SIDE door of the "same" bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and, still politely but more firmly, refuses service to him due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. He looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, Roy bursts in through the BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds him that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
Roy surprisingly looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries - "MAAAN! How many bars do you work at!?!?!"
What you doing Johnny?
I'm sat in Folson Prison Mathos
What for ?
I shot a man in Boston
Why?
Just to watch him die;
Now I just hear that whistle blowing
And bow my head and cry
What gave you that notion in the first place Johnny?
Well, I woke up Sunday morning
No place to hold my head
That didn't hurt,
And the beer I had for breakfast
Didn't taste bad
So I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled in my closet
For my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
Then I washed my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day
On a Sunday morning sidewalk
I'm wishing Lord that I was stoned
OK Johnny, don't get carried away, you already had a hit with that one: Whats your mom going to say about all this?
When I was a young boy
My mother told me:-
Son, always be a good boy
Don't ever play with guns!
What about your Daddy Johnny?
My daddy left home when I was three
Did he leave you anything?
No, he didn't leave much for ma and me
Just an old guitar, and an empty bottle of booze!
That's the pits Johnny
Well these things happen Mathos,
I don't really blame him cos he run and hid
But the meanest thing he ever did
Was before he left,
He went and named me Sue!
Why Sue, Johnny, you don't look much like a girl to me?
No it makes me smile now Mathos,
He must have thought it was quite a joke
It got a lot of laughs from a lot of folk
Seems I had to fight my whole life through
Some girl would giggle and I'd see red
Some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head
I tell you Mathos, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue!
Where did they put you for all that fighting Johnny?
San Quentin!
What was that experience like Johnny?
Living hell to me
I was there since nineteen sixty three
What did you get out of it?
I got stripes,
Stripes around my shoulders
I got chains
Chains around my feet
Who was in there with you Johnny
The rebel Johnny Yuma
Anybody else?
Ira Hayes, but he was pissed all the time.
OK Johnny, I don't want to dwell on your prison experiences, so what are you doing now?
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep my end up and I'm doing fine!
What do you say to June about all this then?
Well, One morning at breakfast
I said to my wife
We been some places once
And some places twice
As I cut another piece of country ham
June said;
We ain't ever been to Vietnam
There's a bunch of our boy's over there!
And her overall reaction was?
She said I had to walk the line.
And your momma Johnny, how did she react?
I asked her: How highs the water momma?
She just said five feet high and rising!
Daddy?
Daddy Sang Base.
And how would you cap all of these experiences Johnny?
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames licked higher
The ring of fire,
The ring of fire!
Anything else to say before you go Johnny?
Sure have Mathos, and thanks for having me in your room
Remember The Alamo
A hundred and eighty
Were challenged by Travis to die
By the line that he drew
With his sword
When the battle was nigh
Any man who will fight to the death cross-over
But if you want to live, You'd better fly
And over the line stepped a hundred and seventy nine!
God Bless America
okay, rain's stopped- sun's out
time to get back to work and stop skiving
(not to mention indulging in these crazy meanderings)
I'm starting to worry about you Mathos
Who me?
Yes you...
But can I ask you, will you answer, just the smallest question..."Have you seen the redbird?"
(You're nuts Mathos- but don't ever change-
that aspect of yourself anyway- although there
are others.....)
I get the impression that Aidan wants to be interviewed in Mathos Room for The Insane!
Now that!!!
Will be!!!
A LOT OF FUN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> :wink:
ok, this is HOPELESSLY insane!!!
(Keep it up, Mathos. You should never change your originality!) :wink:
Hello Mick, Welcome to the Mathos Room for The Insane!
Hey! hey! Mathos
Get off my cloud
I said Hey! hey! Mathos
Get off my cloud
Don't hang around Mathos
Cos two is a crowd
On my cloud baby!
Nice introductory entrance that Mick, but what say we start by discussing Marianne?
Sit and Watch as tears go by Marianne do you mean Mathos?
Right on Mick, tell us all about her!
Well she was common, dirty,
Looked about thirty,
I would have gone away but I was on my own,
She told me later
She's a machine operator
Said she liked the way I held the microphone!
OK Mick, now we're all familiar with the big drugs bust when Marianne
was naked in your pad: Was it all a publicity stunt?
No way man!
That baby used to stay out
All night long
Made me cry,
She done me wrong
She hurt my eyes open
That's no lie
Tables turned and now
It's her turn to cry
Because I used to love her
But it's all over now!
So she was laying it on you Mick?
Not just that Mathos
I used to wake up in the morning get my breakfast in bed
Whenever I got worried she would ease my aching head
But now she's here and there
With every man in town
Still trying to take me for that same old clown!
Let's move on Mick, times an essence and your getting carried away.
Tell us about Bianca; where did you meet her?
She was a gin soaked bar room queen in Memphis
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride!
A ride Mick, what on a carousel or something?
No on the bloody bed Mathos
It's the Honky Tonk Woman
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee the
Honky Tonk Blues!
So how come you have all these break ups Mick, surely you can give us a reason?
I can't get no satisfaction Mathos
So I went off with Dave.
That's more like it Mick, you are referring to the
'Ground Control to Major Tom' Dave aren't you?
That's him Mathos
It doesn't matter what you wear
As long as Dave is there
So come on Mathos, grab a girl
I'll take Dave and we can go dancin in the street,
Everywhere around the world
They'll be dancing,
Dancing in the street!
Well sit down Mick, your getting a bit carried away prancing about in that frock!
It's a nice frock though isn't it Mathos, I have some more but Elton keeps borrowing them!
Well I can't stay Mathos
Feeling the way I do today
There's too much pain and too much sorrow
Guess I'll feel the same tomorrow
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time I don't know!
Actually I'm just a Little Red Rooster.!!
This weekends guest................Dolly Parton...
Mathos wrote:This weekends guest................Dolly Parton...
You may not have noticed but the weekend's here...
Which selection are you going to torture us with? Jolene? Preacher Tom? Oh wait...I hear the sounds now (in your feeble mind)....Mathos will always love you love you love you love you love you...for crying out loud would someone break that darned record before Whitney Houston gets ahold of it and scratches our eardrums.
Uh oh...too late.
Be patient Sturgis, I have a pet goldfish and rhinocerous to feed; they come first!
Please allow me to introduce myself, Im a man of wealth and taste
Welcome, Farmer, how much would you care to donate to be included on my list of potential guests?
I can make you famous!
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