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Thy oil and thy crankcase, they comfort me

 
 
jespah
 
Reply Mon 14 Jul, 2003 12:31 pm
Former Cowboy sued over auto repair bill

Deion Sanders has decided that, if Jesus tells him an auto repair bill is too high, he (Sanders) is permitted to pay less. According to the owner of the repair shop, Sanders was charged $4,265.57 to install a new radiator (amid other repairs) on a 1961 Lincoln Continental. However, when pressed for payment, Sanders handed the owner a check for $1,500, saying that Jesus had informed him that was all he needed to pay.

The bill has been outstanding since 2001, according to the lawsuit.

So I'm thinkin', Lord, my property taxes are kinda high.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,504 • Replies: 28
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Jul, 2003 12:33 pm
Why are my favorite athletes daft? Sigh, Deion is a nut.
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fbaezer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Jul, 2003 12:38 pm
It's all a problem of pronunciation.
It was not Jesus who told him to pay 1.5k, but his friend Jesús Hernández, who repairs torn down Lincolns in a nearby junkyard.
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Noddy24
 
  2  
Reply Mon 14 Jul, 2003 12:54 pm
If Jesus is into account adjustment, I wish he'd take a look at the butcher's bill in the Middle East.
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Jul, 2003 12:55 pm
I'm thinking that Jesus would have had to put it in writing for it to hold up in court...
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 03:20 pm
Your Honor, I'd like to enter these stone tablets into the record as Exhibits Aleph and Beth, please.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 03:30 pm
I am the Lord Thy God, thou shalt have no false mechanics before thee . . .
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Acquiunk
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 03:53 pm
I think Deion should keep in mind that Jesus did mention Caesar, but he said nothing at all, at least in writing, about mechanics.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 03:56 pm
Sure he did . . . "by their works ye shall know them . . . "
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patiodog
 
  2  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 05:43 pm
Ain'tcha ever heard of the miracle of the loaves and carburetors, Craven?
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2003 05:52 pm
I resent your undying wish to bring flatulence into every conversation patio.
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 09:05 am
Actually, I plan for that to be my dying wish. But thanks for the heads up.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 09:19 am
Well, of course, at a certain point, all corpses release the bodily fluids and gases . . . so, you'll get yer wish, Peppermintpatiodog . . .
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 09:47 am
Ashes to ashes, gas to gas.
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 09:47 am
But really, it weren't me what started it. I mentioned a device that aerates gasoline, and Craven turned it around, so to speak.
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Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 09:51 am
You'll have that with CdK . . . keep a good grip on yer wallet, PD, if ever he runs for office . . .

By the by, inasmuch as the word "oil" begins with a vowell, proper usage of the second person singular would be thine oil . . .

If i see any other nits, i'll be sure to pick those, as well . . .
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 09:57 am
How primately sociable of you.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 10:03 am
heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee . . .

intragroup grooming is verra important . . .
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 12:42 pm
Well, I figured oil would be a lil nicer than, uh, gas.

I'll make a note of the thine thingie (that's tough to say - the thine thingie).

I see we are all at the proper level of humor, involving the removal of insect protein from one another and the release of methane into the atmosphere.

In keeping with the high intellectual tone of this topic, anyone want to venture a guess as to when science will begin harnessing flatulence for some sort of practical purpose (other than the obvious, to send home the guests who just won't leave)? I have a futuristic notion in this area. I mean, whaddaya think fuels the Jetsons' jet packs, anyway?
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2003 12:55 pm
New Zealand attempted to impose a tax on cattle and sheep flatulence. don't know what the outcome of that was.
0 Replies
 
 

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