Reply
Mon 7 Jul, 2003 01:56 pm
Venus & Mars, Women & Men. Which has the best jokes
Venus/women
#1 what is the difference between men & pigs ?
pigs don't turn into men when they drink
#2 how do you get a man to do sit ups ?
put the remote between his feet
#3 what's the difference between man & E.T. ?
E.T. phoned home
Mars/men
#1 why do men die before their wives ?
cos they want to
#2 why did the woman cross the road ?
that's not the point. what's she doin' out of the kitchen
#3 how many divorced women does it take to change a light bulb ?
four. one to change the bulb & 3 to form a support group
Women are from Ford, Men are from GM
Tom and Ray
feeling a wee bit "generic" tonight, are we?
Men are from cars; women are from vainous.
Funny, John. Especially about the support groups.
men are from earth, women are from earth, I'm glad.
Hey, dys. Make Aphrodite not Ares.
What's the difference between a flashlight battery and marriage?
--A flashlight battery has a positive side.
Letty neateroony play on words
Equus I can see you'd light up any message board
I forget who said this (I heard it attributed to someone.. perhaps Oscar Wilde?)....
Why do people laugh at weddings and cry at funerals?
It is because they are not the ones involved.
why does a divorce cost so much?
because its worth it...
If men are from Mars and women from Venus, where are gay men from? Uranus?
You mean like those folks in the yuppie cars?
Yuppies who drive Mercury's are from Jupiter but stupider.
Those who can't sing are from Ineptune.
You must be Mercurial, because if your skis are indeed on fire, your feet would be flaming, I would think.
Is one to assume from this that his feet are blatantly homosexual ? ! ? ! ? What of the rest of him (or her, as the case study may be)?
Hmm...good question....perhaps "spouting flames" would have been less suggestive....mind you, gay feet are happy feet, and happy feet indeed fleet the blues away...
(Kermit The Frog)
Happy feet, I've got those happy feet
Give them a low down beat
And they begin dancing
I've got those ten little tapping toes
And when they hear a tune
I can't control my dancing heels
To save my soul
Weary blues can't get into my shoes
Because my shoes refuse to ever grow weary
I keep cheerful on an earful of music sweet
'Cause I've got happ happ happy feet
(Kermit & Chorus Line)
Weary blues can't get in our shoes
Because our shoes refuse to ever grow weary
We keep cheerful on an earful of music sweet
'Cause we've got happ happ happy
'Cause we've got happ happ happy feet
Feet!
Mercurial, and mad as a hatter... :-)
("Skis" can be either noun or verb, like many four-letter words!)
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace