THE BRITISH THREAD II

Soccer? That's it what they play three miles around your birthplace, spendi?

That comparison is not far off, actually, except Hunter was quite a bit smaller than me in his playing days.

That's true ... but you can aspire!

Resisting the urge to ...... BUMP!!!

In the old days, when I was a lad, football was played with a leather ball which consisted of an outer casing, the leather, and a rubber bladder. There was a slit in the leather to allow the deflated bladder to be inserted in the outer casing with one or two fingers pushing it in and then it was inflated until judged satisfactory with a bi-cycle pump. Then the nozzle in the bladder was pushed inside and the slit in the outer casing was closed up with laces not unlike the arrangement with corsets. They were often referred to as "case balls" and colloquially as "casies".

Heading the ball when the laces and the forehead were in juxtaposition, not necessarily exactly either, could be a painful experience.

And on wet days the ball became progressively heavier and greasier as the game unfolded. When a goalkeeper booted a long one upfield after this effect had appeared the crowd would go silent while the ball was arcing towards the central defender of the other side and when he met it with his buffalo like forehead they were able to hear the sound it made and their sympathetic, collective "ooooohh" accompanied his staggering about for a short while waiting for his wits to return. And if the lacing happened to be in the wrong position the game might be held while the trainer put a couple of stitches in his forehead.

Mr Murdoch has done wonders for the game. They even have heated changing rooms now and no other job. Visit fancy hairdressing salons too. Blow-waves, tinting, styling, getting flattered all to ****. When Tom Finney went for a short back and sides he waited in the queue.

I wouldn't be here if Tom Finney hadn't missed a penalty in the last minute causing a replay to be required and to be played at the other team's ground 20 miles away as soon as possible.

Do you think, Tico, on considering the matter, that we might be being feminised? There is a lot of funny stuff going on these days.

I'm not nearly old enough to have played footie with a lace up ball, but if you're talking about laces like on an NFL football, that would not be a fun experience.

I used to toss basketballs high in the air to practice my clearances. Heading a soccer ball after heading a basketball is child's play.

The prima donnas are wussified. Regular players, not so much.

Regular players don't really play the same game as the top teams imo. With the top sides one mistake can cost £50 million. Maybe more. As can one offside. Or any damn thing. One stroke of luck or of brilliance.

We are at that stage of the season where a number of teams are playing every game for millions.

That explains a lot. You couldda been a contender.

Swansea beat Wigan last night, collective sighs of relief all round.

Not in Wigan, matey. Oh no.

That nice Mr Martinez has only two matches left to save his club's season (writing off the FA Cup, natch), against Arsenal and Villa, I think.

Not in Wigan, no, but they've not spent the last two months looking over their shoulders.

There certainly was at this end! Still perilously close to relegation, but a tiny glimmer of hope perhaps?

You have to beat QPR on Saturday, Arsenal aren't the sort of team to roll over, especially when they've got a chance of ending in the top form.

Any thoughts on Fergie's retirement?

The glimmer of hope IS very tiny!

Hard to imagine Man U without him.

A certain amount of amusement will be lost like when he imitates an overfed chicken trying to take off when the ref doesn't give a penalty every time a United player dives in the box.

He's a nasty piece of work truth to tell. I would bet that he secretly wants United to finish mid table next season.

He's not a nice guy, I'll give you that.

Cripes!! I just visited Homebase to get some seed potatoes. It's years since I went into that type of shop.

While there I had a look around and I was astonished to find that a 6 ft 1"X 1" tanalised tree stake was £4.49. I sell them for 80 pence and with no knots in them.

Fergie is a git. He would have been sacked years ago, he came very close to it, but Eric Cantona saved his bacon. And getting Cantona was a bit of good fortune, not F's astute management.
He's a nasty little control freak with an unpleasant and unnecessary speech impediment. He is not fair-minded. He is not a gentleman. He's a nasty, small-minded, aggressive and intolerant little oik. He's very lucky to have achieved what he has with his club. Bill Shankly had a bit of humour about him. Sir Matt was a statesman. Jock Stein had charisma. Brian Clough had magic. Ferguson one of the greats? Not for me.

Brian Clough...Can you imagine a bio-pic about Fergie's life? Neither can I.
Although the toe-sucking might be worth a chapter.

I can't believe the TV interest, the adulation, the testimonies to his magnificence. You would have thought the Queen had abdicated. And it's not even a slow news week.

Good luck to David Moyes, I've got a lot of time for him. I feel sorry for Bill Kenwright and the Everton setup.