55
   

THE BRITISH THREAD II

 
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Jul, 2010 02:15 am
@smorgs,

Miss Smorgs, your irreverence before the law does you no credit.

I suspect you are the sort of person would play rounders in front of a "NO BALL GAMES" sign.
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Jul, 2010 12:15 pm
It's MS Smorgs if you don't mind (tut).

Been to court, very interesting... had to go through barrier things like at the airport, we both set the alarm off! Took advantage of dearest Mama's deafness and told the security guard that she had 'shrapnel in her head' and mine was the underwire in my bra.

My Mum had her best bereavement voice on when we were called, she is proper batty and deaf as a post:

Court official offered my Mum the Bible (I think it was just New Testament), she took it, opened it and started reading, with it held very close to her face.

Official - "are you swearing or affirming?"
Mum - "what firm?"
Me - "HE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU WANT TO SWEAR ON THE BIBLE THAT YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH"
Mum - "Of course, I'm a Catholic!"

There it was, done. £94 for a certificate.

x



0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Jul, 2010 01:47 pm
@McTag,
Quote:
I suspect you are the sort of person would play rounders in front of a "NO BALL GAMES" sign.


Shuttlecock in front of a "NO WAITING" sign more like.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jul, 2010 12:09 am
@smorgs,
smorgs wrote:

Has anyone ever filled in Probate forms? They are spectacularly difficult and 'wordy', no crystal mark for them.


I'm glad that such is a lot easier here.

(The last two years, especially the last couple of months, I've been more often to the court than during my time as a probation officer - I can even walk through security now even if it's peeping like hell. [I usually forget to take out some keys or the lighter or ...])
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2010 08:27 pm
@spendius,
Quote:
He's an Absurdist like me. We go in DIY Superstores to laugh at people.
I have been a little concerned lately that people go in DIY stores to laugh at me...
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2010 08:28 pm
@Walter Hinteler,
Quote:
And the root language got it from Adam, when he talked with Eve about the apple ...
We probably all did have one language about 60-70,000 yrs ago. But you knew that didnt you...
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2010 08:31 pm
@smorgs,
Quote:
Got to go to Probate Court with my dearest Mother
Try to avoid jumping up, pointing at your mum and screaming out, "she made me do it".
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Aug, 2010 05:35 am
@Ionus,
She made me do what? Ionus, that was rather an insensitive remark, strange new person. Good job I'm not easily offended.

Anyroadup - I'm making Sunday dinner: beef, yorkshires, roasties, carrot and turnip (I'm a Scouse, we don't do carrot and swede), cabbage and apple pie for afters.

Ice cream or custard?

What you havin'?

x
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Aug, 2010 06:38 am
@smorgs,
Custard for me please. Thin and runny on jam roly-poly.
0 Replies
 
plainoldme
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Aug, 2010 08:13 am
@smorgs,
That's quite a menu. I'm sitting on the other side of the pond, thinking of breakfast!
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Aug, 2010 02:03 pm
Oh man I'd love a proper roast. I've lived off supernoodles and pizza for about 4 days now my insides are seriouisly complaining.
0 Replies
 
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Aug, 2010 03:31 pm
@plainoldme,
I was sitting in a pub with a friend in Hampshire yesterday and I heard this man talking in his very gruff voice saying something about some woman who was involved in some sort of therapy he or someone he knew was undergoing and he says:
'She's a strange bird. She puts mustard on her sausages. She drives around the countryside in her posh car with a duvet and a toothbrush- I'm beginning to think she's on the game though she says she's a 'forensic psychologist' or some nonsense.
She may be a 'forensic psychologist - but I can tell by looking at her that she can't cook a roast dinner!

My friend and I who were sitting there eavesdropping on this fascinating descriptive monologe were almost falling off our chairs laughing- and for the rest of the weekend we took turns trying to replicate this guy's voice and accent.
My friend got it down pat. I was almost peeing in my pants laughing when he kept saying - 'she may be a forensic psychologist - but she can't cook a roast dinner - I can tell you that!

And I learned something new - now I know what 'on the game' means.
plainoldme
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Aug, 2010 05:51 pm
@aidan,
I sat here, reading your post with my mouth open! of course, anyone who puts mustard on their sausages has to be a strange bird!

Had I been sitting there, I would have had to stare into my glass. How you kept from giggling is amazing!
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2010 12:26 am
@plainoldme,
I didn't keep from giggling - I just kept smiling and nodding at my friend like he was telling me a joke or something. My friend's back was to him and I was facing this guy so I could hear every word AND see his face.
The funniest thing about it is that he was deadly serious in his delivery. He had this big scowl on his face and he kept shaking his head back and forth. I couldn't see the face of the person he was talking to - his back was to me.
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2010 12:55 am
@smorgs,
Quote:
She made me do what?
The last time I went to court with my mother it was clear they wanted to hang someone. If not for my timely "she made me do it" they might have hung me instead. Do they hang you in Probate Law ?

Quote:
that was rather an insensitive remark, strange new person. Good job I'm not easily offended.
If you arent easily offended how do you know it was insensitive ? But you are right, I am insensitive. As for being a strange new person, I can challenge the new part. I have been here a year.
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2010 05:36 am
Quote:
game (n.)
O.E. gamen "joy, fun, amusement," common Gmc. (cf. O.Fris. game, O.N. gaman, O.H.G. gaman "joy, glee"), regarded as identical with Goth. gaman "participation, communion," from P.Gmc. *ga- collective prefix + *mann "person," giving a sense of "people together." Meaning "contest played according to rules" is first attested c.1300. Sense of "wild animals caught for sport" is late 13c.; hence fair game (1825), also gamey "having the flavor of game" (1863). Adjective sense of "brave, spirited" is 1725, from the noun, especially in game-cock "bird for fighting." Game plan is 1941, from U.S. football; game show first attested 1961.
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2010 05:45 am
@Ionus,
Because Probate is usually associated with a death - so you should tread carefully Ionus. However, I will let you off.

A whole year eh?

x

smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2010 05:51 am
On to more important things:

I have bought the paper for my 'accent' wall, which has large(ish) green stylised flowers on, with a hint of silver, to pick up on my chrome fireplace (£194 B & Q sale). I will also pick up some more green shades with the scatter cushions.

There, isn't that more interesting than cricket, politics etc?

Let's talk soft furnishings!

Or sex?

Or combine the two - sex on soft furnishings...

x

spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2010 06:32 am
@smorgs,
How can two experienced old stagers like you and I smorgsie talk about sex when innocent young ladies like Queenie might be reading. It wouldn't be fair on her to jump start her into Sufi/Dervish mysticisms or those of Occult Neoplatonism, Rosicrucianism and Shakespearean notions of Goddess archetypes. The fact that she believes in artificial birth control is enough to recommend avoiding those matters.

As for soft furnishings it's a bit the same really.

smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2010 07:12 am
How could you suspendy?

All soft furnishings are NOT the SAME, ask any woman...

Anyway, you should not post for at least 24 hours, as penance for asking for 'thin and runny' custard! It is an insult! Custard, by it's very name, implies something thick and unctuous, which custard should be.

Thin, runny stuff should only be served in restaurants, and it's called a 'jus', or 'jew' to us Northeners (and I'm not being anti-Semitic, before anyone starts, just showing the pronounciation).

Proper, and I mean 'proper' custard, should be thick - so you can't see your roly-poly underneath.

Besides, couldn't use YOUR type of custard for custard pies.

x
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

FOLLOWING THE EUROPEAN UNION - Discussion by Mapleleaf
The United Kingdom's bye bye to Europe - Discussion by Walter Hinteler
Sinti and Roma: History repeating - Discussion by Walter Hinteler
[B]THE RED ROSE COUNTY[/B] - Discussion by Mathos
Leaving today for Europe - Discussion by cicerone imposter
So you think you know Europe? - Discussion by nimh
 
  1. Forums
  2. » THE BRITISH THREAD II
  3. » Page 494
Copyright © 2025 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.09 seconds on 04/03/2025 at 04:27:55