THE BRITISH THREAD II

I suppose it is due to the horrific nature of stains.

suspendiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Didn't take you long...

My gossamer garments are stain free!

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Not much point in washing them in that case. Pegging them out is good fun though and having them blowin' in the wind like on those old Blackpool postcards.

I would never hang me smalls on the washing line! Apart from my turf needing all the sunlight it can get - it's just not seemly.

Open invitation to knicker-knickers.

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Who suggested they were small? Those on the postcards were like a ship in full sail.

Here's a selection you might like but there's no washing lines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMUzP1rtOVk

Good turf weather today an' all.

Maybe the British Waterways people will not have to close the Leeds-Liverpool Canal after all.
Flooding warning at Keswick camp site, I hear.

It never rains but it pours.

Hosepipe ban?

Okay, you don't want to talk about the weather, despite being British.

So returning to the previous subject,

Knickers.

Blimey!

Been off-line since Sunday night and nowts gone on...

Been pondering 2 things:

1. Why doesn't anybody call their kid Sherlock?
2. Why don't they put covers on reservoirs to stop evaporation?

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I think the "no ****, Sherlock" thing mostly put an end to that, smorgsie...

Word Association Game--"Down".

Use Last Letters Game--"Silky".

Change One Letter Game--"Knackers".

Spoonerism game--" Kickerns". (You can use made up words on that game.)

Acronym Game--" Knowing Nellie's is coming Ken's expecting rolling surges".

What's Next Game--"Empty wallet."

A to Z of Occupations Game--"Numbskull".

What Made You Smile Today Game--" A drying wind getting up".

What Made You Grimace and Grit Your Teeth Game--" Thinking of smorgsie laughing uncontrollably".

Useless Theories Game--" I have a theory about why we like knickers but it doesn't explain why we like them so much.

I imagine that it is because we in the British Isles have a plentiful rainfall and the evaporation is of no consequence. And the authority which runs resevoirs hire them out to various types of outdoor sports enthusiasts and thus the cost of our water is reduced by the amount the enthusiasts pay them which they wouldn't do if it was covered up with a large tarpaulin full of rotting leaves preventing that local nutrient which normally derives from them getting to those parts of the brain which television cannot reach and which is concentrated a bit in beer.

Hence, and this is only a hypothesis, all our local customs and colour might derive from this consideration. The shapes of our heads even. Look how religion changes going from the forests of northern Europe down to where there are no trees. Look at the fame certain parts of the world have gained for some one of their agricultural products.

I can see the point as a job creation scheme though. The cover would need making, transporting, deploying, servicing, renewing, records of procedures to be kept. And it would need to be fenced off to stop all the kids coming to have a bounce on it. It would weigh hundreds of tons I should think for many resevoirs. Maybe thousands. If it was flimsy it would end up wrapped around the offices in the first gale.

You could get an Inspectorate. H.M. Inspectorate of Resevoir Covers aka Smorgies in honour of their inventor.

Great posts chaps!

Why not a see-through cover, so sunlight can get through and people can still use the water for recreation...

and then they would pay extra as they are protected from bird ****, then channel that extra into solving world hunger...

SIMPLES

if evaporation is of little consequence - then why the hosepipe ban?

Rockhead - I've never heard the expression `no **** - Sherlock', I don't think it's used in blighty.

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Look at that!

2 x shits in 1 x post.

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Here's a **** as well!

It feels very naughty...

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I've been acting up as manager, you know...

It's been great, drinking coffee, in my own private office (it's shared with a another manager, but I pretend it's just mine, by completely ignoring her) saying 'enter' in an imperious voice when someone from't shop-floor knocks, then saying 'what is it?' without looking up from my keyboard (cos I'm on Argos clearance sale site, and I need one of those big plastic things that you can store your lawn-mower in if you've not got room for a shed) then saying 'I'm very busy with the stats' in the perfect managerial, but still feminine, breathy/slightly stressed/but still in control voice, which denotes 'I'm in charge but vulnerable, due to my tits'.

Was going to order scatter cusions, but there's a moratorium on stationery - damn the Lib/Con coalition government!

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...and when I asked my colleagues 'guess who's acting up for nearly 3 weeks?' prior to my swearing in - no-one said 'you?'

Their reaction has been noted...
(bastards)

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Hello?

Are you having your tea?

I've had mine.

See the rain before?

It was coming in under the back door.

It's got a Macclesfield Sill as well.

Bet you didn't think I'd know what what of those was.

River's rising.

Might chance putting me towels on the line for an hour.

I forgot to set the higher spin-speed on me new washer.

From John lewis.

Cos I is well posh.

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Okay, Master Chef has finished now!

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PS I don't like the celebrity one - never 'eard of 'em.

I'm sorry too, Smorgs. Have missed you, though I don't pop into the Brit thread very often.

Thanks Osso. x