@McTag,
I'm here for the moment but will be leaving on Monday...
@Francis,
Hi Francis, how was Lowestoft? Did you get an ice cream?
Oooh, suspendy!!!
You know everyfink (smorgs batting midnight blue eyelashes).
You even know how to put italics on.
x
What's the definition of a Northern slapper?
A woman who goes to work in a Jobcentre, then a friend takes her to one side and tells her she's got 'something' on her skirt, wrinkling her nose and pointing to the offending area - a small green crusty blob.
After some examination of the area, and much speculation as to what it could be; alien presidential sperm, kryptonite, crow...
It was deduced that it was in fact, a mushy pea.
This was confirmed, when a small area was lifted with a fingernail, tasted, and then further categorised into a sub-genre of 'Bachelors Chip Shop Style'. On account of the minty tang.
This caused the slapper and friend to be very amused for at least 45 minutes. After much trumping and giggles, friend was then told to Eff Off! As the slapper had seen much worse on HER skirt... and her chin!
And besides, the skirt that acted as a matrix for the mushy pea, was a lovely alpacca/acrilyc mix from Per Una - the extra posh bit in Marks and Spencer. Unlike hers, which was made by a malnoursished 3 year old and retailed through Primark.
x
@smorgs,
Quote:What's the definition of a Northern slapper?
I value my status on A2K too much to provide a truthful answer to that.
@smorgs,
Morning smorgs, long time no see, trust you're keeping well.
@smorgs,
Mornin' miss Smorgs, mighty fine mornin'.
Today we and some o' the kinfolk are goin' up to the Velodrome. The younkers an' their pa, Uncle Bruce, are going to pedal round.
And round
And round
And round
G'day Dutch, how they hangin'. Hope you're well too.
What status is that, spends, old bean? Not like you to hold back...
Can't stop - still got the bathroom to do, spuds are in, then got to do the sprouts, a life of drudgery comes with the tits - they never tell you that 'till it's too late.
Wish I'd bought Aunt Bessie's mash (as instructed by Delia).
x
@McTag,
McTag wrote:
Mornin' miss Smorgs, mighty fine mornin'.
Today we and some o' the kinfolk are goin' up to the Velodrome. The younkers an' their pa, Uncle Bruce, are going to pedal round.
And round
And round
And round
Hey thats great but every time i hear the word velodrome I think of that disturbing film by that canadian git who's name temporarily escapes me David Cronen bourg or something maybe Dave Lager anyhow I WANT TO GO TO THE VELODROME. Damn Videodrome. Anywho had a beer or 3 after my bike ride today 55 mi around Herts/Essex but I got this new bike see, which is really brill, see, and it bangs like a sheila in wind with knobs on. ok I'm done.
Gee!! I got into conversation tonight in the pub with two members of the BNP and do you know -they were pussies. One of them had a joint bank account with his wife and the other actually accompanied his wife shopping on Saturday afternoons.
@spendius,
And neither of them smoked. Hitler didn't smoke I read somewhere.
BNP pussies?
Why, that's an insult to pussies - twats more like (or is that an insult to twats?).
Been at Old Trafford all day (in the AEG box to those with an interest in such matters). Buffet wasn't up to much, and no bikkies till the afternoon - but the bikkies were proper posh ones, no Nice or Rich Tea though...
x
@spendius,
I read somewhere recently, don't know where but maybe it was on A2K, the fount of knowledge, that Hitler had very bad table manners and also that he farted a lot in public.
Damned bounder.
@McTag,
You may have the wrong person from German history, McTag.
Martin Luther was quoted as asking his dinner guests: "Why aren't you belching and farting? Didn't the food taste good enough?"
Speaking of Trafford United, I took my brother-in-law to the airport this morning, and who was in the big Range Rover just behind me in the drop-off zone but Sralex, on his way to Milan.
Tony and he walked in together. The non-VIP part of the walk I mean.
Don't forget! University Challenge final on tonight - go Manchester!
x
@smorgs,
We're on it, your Smorgliness.
That girl from Oxford is very smart and quick.
@McTag,
It was all those veggies! Never trust a man who is a vegetarian - they make very poor lovers...
And don't you go thinkin' I've shagged enough of them to make that statement scientifikally supported - cos I aint!
Must say, I had a lot of fun with the control group though...
x
