THE BRITISH THREAD II

Mathos wrote-



There's more similar self congratulatory blather in his post but I cut it out because it's even more tedious that this lot.

I presume you mean by the landlord paying his customers that paying the turns to entertain them is the equivalent. And so it is but almost every business in the country pays out to attract customers. It's abnormal when they don't. Even the shop selling Holidays in the Orient will have displayed some expenditure to best flatter the bored finicky twittles of this world who are in need of a break from family and friends and Jolly Olde England and will cough up to be flattered Thailand being "Velly cheap-velly clean" in that respect. Sir.

And I couldn't imagine strippers in Leyland. It's a one-horse town on the main western routes. Very dour lot I should imagine. Shake their leg on the way back from the Gents types.

Also, almost every working men's club associated with old industry has closed down midst scenes of dilapidation, dereliction, despair and destruction. It's the hen-pecking you see. It's part of the process of feminisation and the shafting of working men's politics. It is congruent with not knowing the difference between Tory and Labour and ending up voting for a smile with nice even, white teeth flashing. Slow motion emasculation. And congruent with that is the sperm count going down and, coming soon like The Old Speckled Hen, 22.00 hrs Lights Out.

There's no surprises in sight so why the "Fancy that" ?

If your LMC was swinging until 3 am with the knickerless Can-can being performed before the Mayor and the Chief Constable a "fancy that!!!" might be in order.

Does the sun coming up surprise you?

Oh, I never go into Travel Agents Spendi old lad.

Rest assured you get the best deals in the world by booking out East in the suit makers on Sukhumvit Road.

He does a special price for everything, no strings attached, no gimmicks, just the readies into his bank account. Less than half the price of what I would be paying Thompson's for example. Sort the deal out by e-mail too. Tickets come straight back to you. Well they're not tickets for flights any longer. You simply get an A4 e-mail with your name on. You take the A4 to the check in desk with your passport and hey presto they take your luggage off you, give you a boarding pass, receipt for your luggage and point you in the right direction for your departure gate.




I don't know why you even attempt to substantiate your pub or any other pub being an interesting place to visit any more.

Unless you find a pub with a good meal trade it's knackered as far as boozers go.

The good meal trade pubs sell more coffee and tea than they do booze as well.

You obviously feel like a social outcast having to sit in a vault or lounge with the other living dead, pretending that all is well with the world and the other customers take turns in going outside to sit under the fancy umbrellas to have a fag with a 1000 Watt electric fire giving them sunstroke and third degree burns to the scalp from above. The ashtrays have all filled up with rain water and the grass is squelching beneath your feet.

Didn't we have a wonderful night, when we went to the Rat and Ferret.


There's a small pub at Whittle le Woods.

It had a nice garden area with swings and other playground items for folk to let their kids have fun on whilst they had a drink in summer.

Beat this.

The house next door was sold and the new occupants took the brewery to court for the kids making a noise! The Judge said the play area had to be shut down.


It's up for lease now.

Mathos has found a way to save money by spending only half of it.

That's "Buy one, get one free" isn't it

With extra flattery.

It is impossible to imagine Mathos not getting the best deals.

Backing The Rocket at 6 gets you 4 against Hendry whilst lounging on the couch is my idea of a bargain.

The Final is a formality. I'm not prepared to bet on how many frames he wins by because he might do a deal to make his opponent not look too gormless and keep it going for longer to save you all from spending Monday evening watching Casablanca. Again.

And anything that arrives with "no strings attached, no gimmicks," can only be something akin to a truck load of sand.

Steve wrote-



Honestly Steve, have you no regard. At this time of night too when a man is entitled to not being reminded of nightmarish scenes of so frightening a magnitude as that.

I had successfully repressed such memories and now you have brought them all flooding back. Are you a psychiatrist?

Most people used to like the odd drink or two down the local pub of an evening, but the expensive outlay required to have a pint in the UK will probably suprise you!


We are talking here about idiots spending an average of £2..00 per pint; or much more, normally buying a minimum of four pints a night.

It's a tradition.

Can't afford to run a car...moan, moan, moan!

Can't afford a hoilday, moan, moan, moan!

Can't afford to dress smartly, moan, moan, moan!


There's more, much more, but you're all familiar with the moans and groans, you don't need me to elaborate further.

A real man wouldn't go in a pub and drink any less than four pints unless he was just having a quicky on the way home on a warm summers evening.

Regular boozers, the ones like Spendi who flaunt their nightly escapades, even down to having a bath before he departs for a pint always soak up a minimum of four pints.

Spendi is no wimp when it comes to supping half a gallon of John Smiths Extra Smooth.

Amazing isn't it. The thicko's sat there moaning and groaning about the price of petrol at less than a fiver a gallon with a pint of coloured water in his hand at £8..00 a gallon.


So 'Old Spendi is chucking away £56..00 a week on average or £3,000..00 per annum to sit in an empty pub!

Consequently, this ridiculous outlay of funds which could be used to pay for a wonderful annual holiday in The Far East for instance is another reason why the pubs are passing away. Only the dumbo's squander money like that to piss it all up against the wall on the way home or dribble it down their trouser leg like 'Old Men' do especially.

Generally speaking the further north you go the cheaper it gets, with London (as expected) being the most expensive for a pint of beer.

Some places it approaches £10..00 a gallon.

Interestingly the price of beer in a free house pub is cheaper than the price of beer in a chain pub, but still far more expensive than the average pint of lager in Europe. However we dont have it too bad, the average price of beer in Norway is over £3!


£12..00 a gallon... Wow! That sure is expensive water.

Obviously as sensible people give the habit a kick in the goolies, the idiots are left to pay an increase in the cost of their pint to enable the Landlord to go to Thailand once a year at least.


Alcohol affects everyone's health in different ways - but the good things are still outweighed by the bad.

Mind and emotions
Alcohol is a drug that depresses the brain. We all know the cheeriness that can come with the first drink, but alcohol can actually cause severe depression. 'Letting go', another effect which can initially be pleasant, gets some of us into difficulties, because when our petty or angry side gets exaggerated by alcohol, friendships or marriages can be threatened.


Does alcohol improve sex? Alcohol can certainly increase our desire and, by reducing tension, enhance our enjoyment. In men however, large doses of alcohol block the nerves necessary for erection. If this happens once or twice, a man can become worried about his sexual ability - which is a sure way to impair erections from then on - unless confidence is re-established with a sympathetic partner. In addition, the loss of inhibition that accompanies alcohol intake can lead to a failure to consider the need to practice safe sex, by using a condom. Not using a condom has potentially devastating consequences - whether it be an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease such as chlamydia or HIV.

Hidden physical effects
Some effects of alcohol on the body are obvious - such as a deterioration in complexion, and the nausea and headache that can accompany a hangover. However, if you are a heavy drinker, think about what you are doing to the parts of your body that you can't see. Liver disease is one of the more common diseases linked with a high alcohol intake - it can cause varicose veins in the stomach lining which may have been swelling up due to liver blockage to suddenly burst, and the bleeding can be very difficult to stop. Only a blood test can really reveal when the liver is under strain.






UK Pub Beer Prices


Pub Location Pub Type Price of Beer Type of Beer
Cambridge Pub Chain £2.30 ale
Cambridge Free House pub £2.10 ale
Oxford Pub Chain £2.40 ale
Oxford Free House pub £2.20 ale
London Pub Chain £2.24 ale
London Most Expensive Pub £3.00 ale
North West England Any Pub £1.87 ale
Yorkshire Any Pub £1.88 ale
Yorkshire Cheapest Pub £1.09 ale
East Anglia Average Beer Price £2.15 ale
East Midlands Average Beer Price £1.99 ale
London Average Beer Price £2.24 ale
North Average Beer Price £1.94 ale
North West Average Beer Price £1.87 ale
Scotland Average Beer Price £2.12 ale
South East Average Beer Price £2.22 ale
South West Average Beer Price £2.11 ale
Wales Average Beer Price £1.96 ale
West Midlands Average Beer Price £1.97 ale
UK Average Average Beer Price £2.05 ale



Move North For Cheaper Lager Prices!
Pub Location Type of Pub Price of Beer Type of Beer
Cambridge Pub Chain £2.30 lager
Cambridge Free House pub £2.10 lager
Oxford Pub Chain £2.40 lager
Oxford Free House pub £2.20 lager
London Pub Chain £2.24 lager
London Most Expensive Pub £3.00 lager
London Average Beer Price £2.41 lager
North Average Beer Price £2.16 lager
North West Average Beer Price £2.03 lager
Scotland Average Beer Price £2.15 lager
South East Average Beer Price £2.42 lager
South West Average Beer Price £2.30 lager

Wales Average Beer Price £2.11 lager
West Midlands Average Beer Price £2.17 lager
Yorkshire Average Beer Price £2.12 lager
Yorkshire Cheapest Pub - Free house £1.25 lager
Eurpoean Average Any Pub or Bar £1.40 strong lager
UK Average Free house Pubs £2.16 lager Interestingly the price of beer in a free house pub is cheaper than the price of beer in a chain pub, but still far more expensive than the average pint of lager in Europe.



Check this lot out from 'What Price Beer.'

Date Added: Thursday 1st May 2008


"I've just looked at this site as a landlord to see what prices are like and i have a certain amount of sympathy for customers paying these prices but if pubs (tenanted & leased especilly) didnt put the prices up there would soon be no pubs and we could all sit in the isles at Tescos and sainsburys and get hammered for a tenner. The blame lies at the feet at the government for taxes and letting pub companys such as enterprise, punch etc corner the market. Until the pub companies are sorted out and the government gets there heads out of the aren't we are all going to suffer?"

Mark

Date Added: Sunday 27th April 2008


"beer costs too much aussie beer is heaps better "

jim

Date Added: Thursday 17th April 2008


"/beer prices i paid 3.40 for a pint of stella in a pub in brighstone i.o.w the chap next to me bought a stella with a dash of lime and was charged 3.90!"

eve

Date Added: Monday 14th April 2008


"funny, am in Nairobi and average beer prices are clos to 2 pounds!"

kareu

Date Added: Saturday 12th April 2008


"I was charged £3.15 for a pint lager (Fosters) shandy today. What a disgrace"

Jim

Date Added: Monday 7th April 2008


"I used to be a regular early doors pub goer drinking 2 or 3 pints a night before supper. Over the years this has become more and more expensive. I now drink beer at home. I had a pint in Newport, Isle of Wight where I live, a few nights ago- £3.20 for a local beer. It'll be a long time before the next one at that price!"

ken

Date Added: Tuesday 1st April 2008


"When was these prices found? ie when last updated?"

Victoria

Date Added: Sunday 30th March 2008


"my local in the north west charges 2.50 for a carlsberg. Export, stella and san miguel 2.60 and bitters 2.20. not bad."

John smith

Date Added: Monday 24th March 2008


"Only 4 dollars a pint for Micro brew ale here in Seattle"

brian

Date Added: Monday 24th March 2008


"just been forced by punch and gov't to increase my prices at a pub on the south coast. stella £3.35, guiness £3.2 carlsberg £3.00. Idont know if I am going to be in buisness this time next year The gov't(£28k vat £10k rates £15k tax and ni) and punch (about £100k rent and profit from beer) will loose out a little I will lose my lively hood and my home probably my relationship as we fight to hang on to a buisness that i have given the last ten years to "

G reg

Date Added: Wednesday 19th March 2008


"My local pub in Devon charges 3.20 for a pint of Stella."

Rob

Date Added: Wednesday 19th March 2008


"I am disgusted, the beer in my local has gone up twice in 2 weeks by 20p overall, Guinness is now £2.90 and Carling £2.80, it just pushes you away, i will be going to Tesco for my next beer, and sit in the ailse after i have paid, just to see if the atmosphere is the same as my local. Well done Punch and the Government."

MRU

Date Added: Monday 18th February 2008


"Norway average about 5 £ per 0,4 l. beer! Just for the record. A drink with 4cl spirits average 8 £. Fancy a pint over here? "

Are

Date Added: Saturday 9th February 2008


"if you think norway is expensive try paris average price £7 _ £8 a pint!"

ruth and tim

Date Added: Wednesday 6th February 2008


"I am shocked, I thought the beer prices would be higher, I have a pub in the North West and I am having to raise Real Ales from £1.95 to £2.05, My average 4% lager is £2.55 and Premiums at £2.80!I have had massive rises in prices not sure how I am going to break it to the punters...some increases were so high, I had to take them off the bar."

Eric

Date Added: Sunday 3rd February 2008


"I own a club{social}in the midlands,beer is £1.73 and lager £2.00,we are about to put the prices up and there is uproar,nowdays owners,managers cannot win,smoking ban,cheap supermarkets,govnerment taxes.No wonder there is on average 40 pubs closing every week,god knows how you non-owners manage to keep your heads above water,breweries, punch etc are modern day Highwaymen."

Tony D

Date Added: Saturday 26th January 2008


"My local pub charges £2.90. for a pint of Stella. I live in lincolnshire"

D. Partridge

Date Added: Tuesday 22nd January 2008


"I run a pub on the south coast the price of beer ranges between £2.55 and £2.90 and lager between £2.80 and £3.15. I am foced to charge these extotionate prices by the pub owning barrons such as punch enterprise etc. "

G Reg

Date Added: Wednesday 2nd January 2008


"Together with the smoking ban. The death of the pub."

Derek

Date Added: Monday 29th October 2007


"im sure glad i wasnt drinking when reading these prices"

stew

Here you go Spendi 10 or 14 nights flights and everything on the Paradise Island of Ko Chang.

If you take the peak season Christmas break its only a third of what you are pissing up against the wall in outrageous ale prices per annum.



Month 10 Nights Bed & Breakfast 14 Nights Bed & Breakfast
May £659 £719
Jun £659 N/A
Jul £659 £719
Aug £659 £719
Sep £659 £719
Oct £659 £719
Nov £779 £899
Dec £799 £929
All the above prices include flights, accommodation and board basis as advertsised.

Sorry Spends...I had no idea..

But getting back to Herman with or without hermits and the price of fuel. I am of course not insulated from the price of petrol. That was just a bit of bravado/smugness on my part. But I would like to illustrate why, despite paying £1.15/litre or whatever it is, in real terms it represents fantastic value for money.

What you are buying is not a refined mix of benzene and other organic molecules, but energy. You know that, but not everyone appreciates the significance.

Work is what you get paid for. And going back to simple physics, useful work is done with the expenditure of energy. (lets leave entropy out of the equation for the time being). Energy (from food) is expended in muscles of the body to do work. exactly the same principle applies to machine food in the form of petrol for mechanical devices such the internal combustion engine. Muscles and engines both do work. And they both need food.

Ok at the risk of boring everybody..I have an illustration.


Suppose a land owner wanted some woodland cleared. He employs two men and says he will pay £50 per tree felled (by each man), and will provide the working tools, a hand axe and a chain saw. They have a bit of an argument about who gets to use the chain saw, so they toss a coin and the loser gets the axe. The owner says he wants the land cleared as soon as possible and wont tolerate any slacking on the job. So off they go and he soon hears the merry chunk chunk of the axe. And thats all. The guy with the chain saw comes out of the wood and says "hey there's no petrol for the chain saw. Its worse than useless without fuel"


Tough says the owner, you should have thought of that. I employed you to cut trees down and you're not doing it and if you leave site to go into town to buy petrol, you can consider your employment terminated. Or you can take the other hand axe and start with that.

Or I can sell you some petrol for the chain saw if you want.

The man thinks about how many trees at £50 per tree he can fell in a day with an axe, and how many with a chain saw and petrol.

The petrol holds the energy which the machine expends to do useful work.

He can probably cut down (say) 6 times as many trees with a chain saw. But he needs 10 litres of fuel to operate it all day.

Ok he says I'll buy 10 litres of petrol.

Fine says the owner, that will be £115. What!!!??? Thats a rip off he says

Well is it really says the owner. You work it out. How much will that petrol earn you in terms of felled trees?

So he buys petrol at 10 times the filling station price....and at the end of the day he thinks it was a bargain. He's earned much more than the other guy, even with the excessive price of the fuel, while axeman is absolutely pooped!!

Steve- The English working man would tell the owner to shove his petrol up his arse while still in the can, and the chainsaw and his trees and would slip along to smorgsie's Job Centre to sign on for some free money.

And Mathos the Fat Masochist, who wants gyms to replace pubs and clubs, is incorrect to say that beer is £10 a gallon. 95% of that price is tax using strict accounting procedures. As such my contributions to the NHS, the defence of the realm, educating our future bedpan emptiers etc are socially very useful which contributions to the economy of Thailand are not.

And we don't go in pubs just for the beer. We go to socialise and have our opinions criticised by our peers and meet our neighbours. The stay-at-home New Man is frightened of that because he doesn't care to be contradicted which results in him having the same views at 65 as he had at 4 which can be boiled down to "I am the great I am,I am". A social pariah in other words with control freakery top of the agenda.

That's a modus operandi which can be exercised velly cheaply on a bunch of backward half-wits who have never seen a can of condensed milk before and who live in squalor and are thus easy to patronise and who are happy to say Meesa Maffose is velly Beeg Man for a ten pee coin.

And you end up talking to us as if we are a bunch of schoolchildren.

And another thing, you silly tub of lard, you should not cut and paste from Google without the citations.

And another thing--why don't you sign on at the local remedial college for adults and learn how to take photographs properly. Any clunkhead can point the camera and click.

Mathos is not incorrect at all, he is fully justified in stating the price of the end product, inclusive all taxes, manufacturing costs transport and VAST profits.

You, you thick dope-head are paying £10..00 a gallon for coloured water, whatever classification you desire to give it.

There's nobody in the pubs to socialise with, and you know it dopey. you get a few here and there when the Landlord gives the ale away.

Like I have challenged you before. Let us see a photograph of this pub of yours.

I think it is a figment of your imagination sunshine.

Your not a school child either, you're worse than that.

The citation was there bonehead, read it properly.

'What Beer Price'


I'm very happy with the photographs I take.

If you have a problem it's an addition to your own lack of being.


Football now.

Have a nice day and don't be late for the pub.


The Landlord needs his holiday.

Mathos wrote-



That's like saying you paid £70,000 for a pile of steel and plastic when you purchased your car after the salesman had licked your ego for a few hours.

Beer is not coloured water. It contains 3.5% of a magical ingredient which some philosophers have said is mankind's greatest discovery.

The non-smoking, non-drinking, atheist, faithful husband type would never have had the slightest chance of building this fantastic world of ours and your lack of participation in the joys of life are a pure cop out and seemingly so boring you have to escape from us all for three months every year and spend the other nine months talking about the last trip or the next one and making it necessary for working men to earn the foriegn exchange you have wasted.

The rest of your post is too infantile to discuss.

Great team, great game;-

4 - 1 Win with ten Man U men playing 11 cockney's for over 50% of the game as well.


I don't talk to salesmen sunshine I do my deals with the MD over lunch or evening dinner.

Salesmen!

My you are living in the backwoods.

Magical ingredient! My, my, my you do get carried away with your lack of knowledge about what it is you pay all that money for bone-head.

You blithering idiot, it's water H20 with a bit of colouring.

I won't get into the taxation arguments with you, I bet you have no idea what a 'Chartered Accountant' is for.

Don't put any big bets on.

The best salesmen leave their customers proud of themselves. Everybody knows that.

It's where the cash is that matters. Not what it was used for which in the case of big flash cars is exclusively psychological. The capacity of the item to point up invidious comparisons with one's friends and neighbours and, as such, fuelled by aggression. The Big Mon on the Big Rock syndrome.

That's the magical ingredient of flash cars and it's a complete dead loss compared to the magical ingredient in beer because there's no laughs to be got out of it as there is with beer which, as an added bonus, does not spew poisonous fumes into gardens where kids are playing.

Has your car got darkened windows?

Have you noticed that dandelions can think? And since it would be unwise to assume in this they are alone in the plant kingdom, I would advise a little more respect towards your carrots etc in future.
Prince Charles probably knows more than most about this.

I have observed, the grassy bits of my garden having quite a lot of dandelions mixed in, that if you leave them alone they take the usual dandelion form, fairly upright.
If you cut the grass regularly however, the flowering heads react to this, and lie really low. They kind of burrow into the surrounding short grass and moss, even when the flower is on the stalk. Close to the ground is what I'm saying. When the seed-head is ready however, they hoist themselves up, taking less than a day to do this, and lift the seed-head high enough for the wind to do its work of distributing the seed.

In other words, the plant has learned to anticipate the action of the lawnmower, and has devised a strategy to defeat it. That's smart.

They're not smart Mac. They are yellow. (Geddit).

I might write a short essay on the subject tomorrow if I get the time. Oswald Spengler has a few lines on it. If I can find it I'll use it like preachers often begin with a short text from the Bible. (Not the one about the joints of the thighs though).

Thanks for bringing it to our attention. I like prose where all you can see of the writer is the writing itself. Prose which is all about the writer, however subtly the beamers are bowled, always betrays a neglect of the expression, so eager is it to put itself forth, and it grows more amd more tedious the more one reads, whereas when only the writing is all you see of the writer the opposite is the case.

How do you titillate an ocelot?

- You oscillate its tit a lot.

Ok, you can begin here, McT:

outwitted by a dandelion eh McT?

Oswald Spengler wrote-



It is much more likely that the effect Mac has noticed is more to do with grazing animals than with lawnmowers. Evolving to do the thing described would take a much longer time than the presence of lawnmowers in the world could be responsible for.

If the dandelion is sufficiently smart to avoid the blades of the lawnmower, one has to resort to the tool for taking Boy Scouts out of horses' hooves.

The weapon of moss destruction.

This supposition is based on an erroneous assumption, that evolution takes a very long time.
On the contrary, insects for example have been shown to evolve as their environment changes, in a relatively short time.