No I wasn't!
I was snoring and ocassionally stirring to scratch my arse.
Mornin' everyone!
Morning Dawn's crack.
x
damn and i had such a lot to say about you when you werent here
morning to you, but it must seem like afternoon
could you give your world wide audience an idea of the hours you keep so we know when to expect an early nap or if at 3.30 am you are getting up or going to bed.
5.00 to 6.00am - I rise, have a wee, make a tea, sometimes check emails.
6.00 to 7.00 - I go back to bed for a bit, run a bath, wash my hair, make another brew.
7.00 to 8.00 - Put face on, eat wheetabix, watch news.
8.00 to 9.00 - daily commute to work
9.00 to 12.00 - slog my guts out
12.00 to 1.00 - eat pasties
1.00 to 5.00 - slog my guts out
5.00 to 6.00 - commute home, and put the tea on, clean up, wash up, fold the washing, iron something for work.
6.00 to whatever - piss about on PC, moan about my life, put nightie on, go to bed.
Then the next I start all over again.
Anyone want to come and rescue me in a white naval uniform and take me away from all this?
x
well i do think you earn your crust smorgsie
Walter is the nearest naval person I know. Though not sure about uniform colour.
Mathos might swing out of the jungle tarzan like and wisk you off
Or you could sit on my cross bar...how heavy are you?
McTag could take you for a highland fling
or Spendius could arrive on a motorised sofa with a crate of John Smiths
your choice.
White. But changing to blue on October 1 (that's when winter is comanded to arrive).
Unfortunately, I'm not wearing any uniform since about 20 years (after that, the world's trouble really started).
smorgsie's post seems to me to be a savage attack on the fruits of feminism.
All that ceiling busting shite courtesy of no more than a thousand media careerists results in smorgsie, and millions of other women who have been sold down the river, yearning to swoon away in the protective arms of an admired man.
If I were to mount a rescue mission on a motorised sofa I would equip myself with more than a crate of John Smith's Extra Smooth. Some champagne say and a supply of Every Ready Long Life Pocket Energy as, alas, I'm getting a trifle worn out these days and would not wish to disappoint in any desperate attempts to stand on what shreds of dignity still remain.
All I really wanna do (is baby be friends with you)
...is get up, go for a walk in the woods with a nice dog, go home, make tea - something lovingly prepared and slow-cooked. Maybe make banana loaf for afters. Read all the books waiting to be read. Keep some chickens, have a veg plot.
That's all really - I could be happy.
Past a blind man at the bus stop this morning, the glass had been kicked in and he stood there in the debris. I was tempted to stop and say "get in - I'll take you wherever you want to go". But the traffic started moving and I missed the chance. Made me very sad...
California Dreamin' was playing on the radio. I was acutely aware that this is my lot in life and it's never going to change.
But then I'm not a depressive, sometimes I really try hard to get depressed, but I can't keep it up.
Pissed myself laughing huddled with Linda and Eunuch at the back of the Jobcentre during break today. The three tena's.
x
was thinking the other day as the last in a series of white vans passed me at 60mph and 1ft clearance, do they give them white vans because they cant see properly?
I've had all sorts of cars and motorcycles and driven all over Britain and in Europe and N America. Without doubt the most dangerous thing I've done recently is ride a bicycle around here.
Steve-
If you continue riding around with vehicles passing you at 60mph and with 1 ft clearence the inevitable consequence is statistically almost certain. It is merely a matter of time.
Most of those vehicles are being driven under the stress of bringing you lower prices and faster service. (I think- theoretically I mean).
spendius wrote:Steve-
If you continue riding around with vehicles passing you at 60mph and with 1 ft clearence the inevitable consequence is statistically almost certain. It is merely a matter of time.
Most of those vehicles are being driven under the stress of bringing you lower prices and faster service. (I think- theoretically I mean).
yeah no doubt my hearse will be white. and fast. With the **** on the phone.
That's the mildest outcome Steve.
You might end up in all limb traction like they showed in Carry On Doctor and Laurel and Hardy.
Still - the morphine's pretty good I gather.
I've overslept!
Mornin' everyone, in tit cold!
x
...hello?
(smorgs peeps round't corner to see where everyone is)
x
Only the usual suspects...
I never suspect anybody of anything on the basis of past experience.
Apart from ladies of course.
Can you define a lady Spendius?
Perhaps I should say can you inform us of your definition of a lady, that way it saves complicating the issue for you.
Hi Mathos-
Where've you been? I've missed your blustering, pompous twitterings.
I can, of course, define a "Lady" but I hardly think this is the proper place for it. Baroness Trumpington is a fine example I should think. She was a junior minister once, if I remember correctly, but I don't know what her responsibilities were. One hopes she was a Lady anyway.
