I Want My Own Thread About ME!

I'm not sure I did make sense of it at the time. Other Dad ran a tight ship so to speak, especially regarding my brother, so while not having a real memory of it, I imagine I was relieved. (I've never done well with tension and discourse) I think Mom and Dad split when I was approaching three, and by the time I was approaching four and a half I was with Dad. Mom says Sabrina and my brother wanted to go be with Dad and she didn't want to split us up.

She was 17 when she had Sabrina and only 23/24 when this happened and she was married to someone in their late 30's that had already been married, divorced and had older children he didn't see much. I believe she did what she thought was best for us, as well as herself.

As per continued relationship... I'll get to that!

I'm one of the people checking in to see if there is a new installment.
Superb writing, real interest.

Yay, she's back with more!

Dad also loved the rodeo. I'm not sure when that started, but one time I was standing at the arena fence and he came out of the chute on a big grey bull that had horns. I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn't. He came off just at the buzzer and when he did that bull snapped right around and caught him. He just laid on the ground for a long time and that made me cry. Later he told me that when things like that happen you have to get back on. And, he did. A lot.

My Betty Mom didn't like the horses very much. One time Dad said we were all going to go for a ride. He gave her a real nice palomino gelding. But, when the train started coming on the tracks behind the pasture we were in, that horse took off like lightening. I was in the saddle in front of Dad and he kicked our horse and made him run real fast to catch Betty Mom. That was scary, but that night I told Sabrina in secret that it made me smile that we were going so fast. Betty Mom and I were brave that day.

When I got my first bike for Christmas my Dad took me out in the driveway and kept pushing me and pushing me until I learned. I didn't want to fall cause it had a pretty basket that would get dirty. When I did, I got back on and my Dad said he was proud of me for doing that and not crying. He said I could wipe off the dirt, so I did.

We had milk delivered to our house. The milkman would come one day to see what we wanted and then another day he would come back and leave it in the box by our front door. If we were going to be down in the barn we just left a note saying what we wanted him to bring. My brother knew how to write like a grown up so he would leave a note saying we wanted ice cream, too.

In the summer my Dad put a big round horse tank on the back patio and filled it with water for us to use as a pool. On really hot days we could take a break from doing chores and go swimming. I didn't like when the frogs got in over night and couldn't get back out and drowned, but I just took them out and then rinsed my hands in the pool.

After Betty Mom's back stopped hurting it started again. Dad had people to help at the barn and a secretary to help him, but her back still hurt so she went to the hospital. It was after I had seen Love Story and Brian's Song and a song that said that sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy played on the radio in the barn a lot. I was scared that Betty Mom wouldn't come home. Then one day Sabrina and my brother and my Dad's secretary were talking in the tack room and I heard Dad's secretary say Betty Mom was coming home but that she didn't want her to and asked if they did. Sabrina and my brother said no. I got really mad and told them that was mean to say and ran to the house and to my bed and cried that they would say something so mean cause I didn't want to think they would. I think my Dad's secretary just didn't want to move back to her house.

When Betty Mom was home I had to start helping watch Lori and Melody more. That was okay cause I could just play with them. A lot of times I was the only one in the house with them, but that didn't scare me. I knew how to take care of babies and I didn't think about anything bad happening. When they took a nap I would go in Sabrina's closet and get one of the leather bound books she got from the lady that had taken her to all of those horse shows. I liked Little Women and Treasure Island a lot. I didn't tell her I was reading her books for a long time and then one time I did during our secret talk and she said that was okay and laughed.

Sabrina got to go to the store and pick out the curtains for our bedroom cause she was the oldest. They were white eyelet with bright yellow at the bottom, like sunshine. I told her she did a good job. There was one little curtain at the top and then a space and then one that hung to the bottom of the window so at night we could see the moon when we laid on our left sides. One time I saw something flashing red and thought it was Rudolph but Sabrina said it was an airplane and showed me the little dipper and then asked if I would please go to sleep.

Still reading, still loving it.


Thank you so much, Squinney!

Squinney, I hope Lori's ok!

This all reminds me of the yaya sisterhood reading. Excellent squinney!

Wow, this is great. More please, Squinney.

Squinney--

You are providing wonderful distraction. Thank you.

Love this, Squinney and waiting for more.

This is awesome! I'm reading along every day with the others and enjoying every second :-D

Sorry. Got caught up in life and had to deal.

Noddy - I'm with you in thought.

Lil k - Lori is still in the hospital, not sure what it is, but ear infection / sinus infection has been confirmed. Not sure how that explains the left side loss of control... tests are not getting anywhere on that part of it. Thanks for asking. I read this thread to her tonight when I visited. It made her smile. I may convince her to do her own version.

Off to bed, but I promise to continue tomorrow. There's another thread on here about diaries... I can vouch that this is both therapeutic and exhausting. Still worth it though in case you are reading, FM.

Night Night. Kiss, kiss. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

Swimpy--

Living is what you do while other things get in the way.

Hold your dominion.

Holding with yours. Noddy.







Okay, so where was I... Oh, yeah.

In the spring a lot of babies were born. We had to teach them to lead, and work with them to make them like us and know we were not going to hurt them. Dad said I could pick out whichever one I wanted and let it be mine to show that year. I picked a filly that was born on Valentine's Day and named her after her birthday. She was a red dun color with just a little star on her forhead. She was very fat. We won some trophies that year.

At one of the shows there was a tornado. I saw it come down from the clouds. Dad made me get in the trailer with Valentine. I thought he was going to get in with me, but the new straw hat he'd just bought blew off and he had to go get it. I hugged Valentine and told her it would be okay and not to be afraid even though I was. The afraid part made me cry. I didn't know where Sabrina and my brother were and when I thought about that I was more afraid for them. When Dad came back he didn't have his hat. The trailer next to us was turned over, but no one was hurt. A few years later when we were going to another show Dad saw an old farmer in a field and said, "Look, that old farmer found my hat!" We all laughed.

(I think 2packsaday may have it now)

We traveled a lot. When we were in the truck we were always singing. Dad liked to sing songs that said things like take the ribbon from your hair, and satin sheets to lie on. We would also sing about the orphans at the church, but my favorite was when we harmonized "You are My Sunshine." I don't know how we did that. It just happened and I thought it sounded real pretty.

My first boyfriend was Kevin. We were in third grade together and he was the cutest boy in the whole school. One day in class he came over and said will you be my girlfireind to me. I said yes. We didn't talk any more after that. I learned my times tables, how to write cursive and to tell time. He did, too. I told Sabrina I had a boyfriend during secret talk and she laughed and said that was good.

I thought my third grade teacher looked a lot like my first Grandma, but she had both of her thumbs.

My brother got in a lot of fights. I felt real bad that he he was getting hurt all the time and that most of boys were bigger than him. I felt worse that when he got home he got spanked again for getting in a fight at school. One time he said the n word to our bus driver and after that I thought that maybe he was just mean and started the fights on purpose. Mr. Jackson was always real nice to me so I didn't like that his feelings got hurt by my brother. I brought him a piece of candy the next day and he thanked me and told me to go ahead and find a seat.

Mr. Jackson also cleaned our school. He did a good job. I thought he was strong and brave to be able to clean up when someone got sick on the floor. He didn't seem to mind at all even though it made me want to get sick, too. He smiled a lot and whistled in the halls unless we were learning something hard.

I started winning all of the spelling bee's in my class.

My Grandma G asked me one time if I wanted to learn to play the piano that was in the room at the back of her house. I said yes becasue my Dad could play the piano and I liked the way it sounded when he did. Grandma G told me to start going to Scott's house after school on Wednesday's and his mom Gloria would teach me. I thought that was neat since Scott was my friend. After my lessons Scott and I could play for a little bit until I got picked up. Sometimes we watched H R Puff N Stuff. One time his sister got mad because Scott took some pennies from her piggy bank. His mom made him give them back. I went to Scott's house for several years. Scott's family was always laughing and his mom and dad didn't ever get mad. That made me happy.

HR Puff'n Stuff
whose your friend when things get tough
H.R. Pufnstuff
Can't do a little cause he can't do enough.

Once upon a summertime
Just a dream from yesterday
A boy and his magic golden flute
Heard a boat from off the bay
"Come and play with me, Jimmy
Come and play with me.
And I will take you on a trip
Far across the sea."

Yeah, has a new meaning as an adult, doesn't it.

I liked sitting next to Gloria on the piano bench. Her voice was so soft and melodic and she was very patient with me when I didn't practice like she asked me to. I felt safe next to her. She was a large woman and she had beautiful voice. She played the organ at church and sang along with the choir at the same time which I thought must be very hard to do at the same time. Her teeth were perfect and made her very pretty. Her husband, Scott's dad, was tall and skinny. He was always happy, too. I thought they were the perfect family and I wanted to be in theirs instead of mine sometimes but I didn't even tell Sabrina that.

My brother liked to drown the kittens. He would put them in a burlap bag and hold them under water. One time he told me to come watch how they wiggle and try to get out. I cried and ran and told Betty mom. She spanked him, but he did it again. I didn't tell any more cause I thought the spankings made him meaner. Someone told him that cats land on their feet so he started dropping them from the hay loft and sickin' the dog on them. That made me cry more.

I made friends with Lynette and Kim at school. We started hanging out at recess and eating together at lunch. Kim brought a box of jello mix to school one day and we all said it tasted like pixie sticks so after that we took turns bringing a box of jello for recess. The PE teacher told on us and said we couldn't do that any more. I don't know why. The PE teacher didn't like us. One time some dentists set up tables in the gym and the classes took turns going down to see what they had. One table had red pills we could chew to show where we needed to brush better. When our class was there the PE teacher came and got Lynette and Kim and me and another girl Vanorse we had made friends with and told us we had better behave. She said we thought we were all that and we weren't. Lynette and Kim cried, but Vanorse and I didn't know what she was talking about so we just looked at her. Vanorse said something and got in more trouble. I thought she was brave since she was new and she was black.

Catching up after missing a few 'chapters'. Thanks, squinney.