My new hobby: Spamku

Ouch, that's a little too close for comfort




Finally some suggestive spam:

Success Stories:
GetAStiffy InAJiffy
Up 30% and climbing fast

....er...around here, i think i'm only a reader...
a. i still don't get the rules
b. now that's one side of my mail i don't have the courage to open!

Oh we don't open the spam (at least I don't, and no one else should, either). These are just the titles.

Haiku works as follows:
5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables

And some of us don't play by the rules if we think the result will be mildly amusing

We don't need no stinkin' rules!

On another threat I floated the idea of "spam slams" which can also be fun. It's kind of a Jack Kerouck, beat thing, ya'know?

For a spam slam just copy off some titles that strike your fancy. These appeared in order in my spam file but I couldn't work out a haiku from them -- but they were too good to pass up:

Lets go
'I'll see, I'll see.
his by magnitude
Of rectify a causate
but he extension
Of by bugeyed
require rectal

Name of the day: Norberto Davison

You just know that Norberto is Harlequin Romance cover material.

In today's spam file, a bumper crop:

Inside hardcover
An oboe in Debussy
innocent cycad

smokehouse teasel
lorry-load of marijuana
abandonned

infatuated
Yes! No! I be obedient
no abutting you

Best name: Chastity Wong

Congratulations,
airspace interior and
Need mechanicsburg

Meet Asian Singles
Be nogales she broomall
I garrisonville

Best names for the day:
UCharmaine MEngle
Jybhammondsville deary
Couderay24 eutaw
Angel Fink
Brande Nguyen
Rupert Welsh

Leprosy or cottonwood
wasteland, whichever.
But rhyming barbs crack the whip.




(It almost makes sense)

Some advice:

Everything should be okay
Your use of sex to sell, who cares?
Learn to relax this time


An odd menu:

Homlessness milk shake
Inflatable appitizer
Curvy enamel


Lots of good names:

Milton Montagu
Ms. Fatima Karki
Mitford J. Urea
Hyperion R. Convalescent
Rubbish C Leached
Hugo Tran

Nothing too earth-shattering in the junk mail today, but these went together well:

Lose 30lbs Fast
Take the M&M Mashed Potato Challenge
Your Free Online Warranty Quote

Today's question ...

Is visigoth that
bastard with whom kulm gave
caliphate a nod


Geronimo Levine








Is "kulm" a real word?

Geronimo Levine? Man, I never get great names like that!

I'm sure all his friends call him Gerry.

I get some doozies

Geronimo Levine. His parents' love was taboo, but when Gerry came along, the families forgot their differences and all came together for his Navajo cleansing/healing ceremony/Bar Mitzvah. Kreplach and maize were served.

I like your story, Jespah. Today's haiku:

There! In no man's land,
everything should be okay.
Up periscope.



And as for names, I can't decide between:

Cathleen Colon (would that be anatomical or grammatical, Cathleen?)
or
Delicia Ahmet

I heard a program on radio today about spam, and efforts to catch the spammers. The guest who was being interviewed ended the program with a rather poor effort at spamku, which made me think of Boom and this thread. So, here's my poor effort


Nigeria calls
Drawing me ever onward
To wealth and to fame

Nice one!

All my spam lately has been lotto winnings and gift cards. The offer to claim my free $1,500 Starbucks card has me particularly interested. Not that I like Starbucks much but I have no idea how I would be able to spend $1,500 there. I usually just get a drip coffee there. I suppose it might be funny to go in there and say "I want 750 cups of drip coffee" and wait around while they filled my order.

Two lattes and a lemon-poppy seed muffin (which would still leave you $1.50 for a tip).

Then please join me! My treat! I'll even spring for an extra muffin.

I don't have the time and energy to devote to creating a spamku right now, unfortunately, but I thought this was just too poetic to let it die an ignominious death in the trash bin:

"And they both enters the barge and sail across the lake." Wow! I want to know more about them! Whither do they go, across yon lake? But I'll never know... *sigh*