snacks before bedtime

A stiff shot of bourbon used to work for me.

Most nights, before bed, I like to eat a bowl of cereal...Kelloggs Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks or Captain Crunch. What a perfect way to end the day!

hey Mr Andrew, ever so nice to hear from you.

We call a snack before bedtime "Betthupferl" and that can be anything
from candy to....well, something calorie-burning.

Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other) 20 calories
On an airliner, middle seat 42 calories
rug burn 6 calories
real 27 calories
faked 160 calories

Foods like mashed potatoes or pasta alfredo (fill in your own) apparently lull, with the opposite in the morning.. protein for breakfast is smart.
No links, I'm being lazy.

But that's not all, dys.


MAKING THE FIRST MOVE

If you are shy: 15 calories
If you are anxious: 43 calories
If you beg: 100 calories

INITIAL BODY CONTACT
Fumbling: 4 calories
Casually rummaging around: 7 calories
Seriously rummaging around: 42 calories

REMOVING CLOTHES
With partner's consent: 12 calories
Without partner's consent: 187 calories
Removing socks by violently shaking feet: 418 calories

AROUSAL AND STIMULATION
Blowing in partner's ear: 15 calories
Blowing in your own ear: 2,512 calories

DISAPPOINTMENT (after seeing partner undressed
Partner looks better with clothes on: 10 calories
Partner wears corrective underwear: 15 calories
Partner turns out to be of wrong sex: 100 calories
You don't mind: 0.25 calories
Partner wearing elevated socks: 50 calories

DOING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME
Fumbling around: 4 calories
Desperately trying to put something somewhere: 18 calories
Completely missing: 126 calories

POSITIONS
Italian (man on top; woman on bottom): 26 calories
German (facing each other, but in different beds): 48 calories
English (woman on top; man hiding): 15 calories
American (both on top): 1,243 calories