Debate over working freelance for a corporation

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I'm having a debate with a friend who lives in the semi-rural Midwest where she works as a massage therapist. I live in a city (Washington, DC), and work for a college. We both make about the same $ annually. This means she has just bought a house, and has some disposable income. I work a part-time job in addition to my full time job. As you can imagine, rent in the big city is high.

So, I was excited when I got this freelance writing job that will pay rather well. It means I will make enough money to cover my bills and have a little something leftover, instead of working an additional 40 plus hours a month at my PT job.

Here's the rub, my friend does not approve of the company that has hired me. I said, "I understand, but it's good money." As far as I'm concerned, she lives in a bubble of crime-free (for the most part) laid back affordable Midwest, while I'm in this hyper expensive Eastern corridor city. She doesn't get it.

I think she's being clueless and holier-than-thou because she can afford to have the time and $ to take Yoga classes, and do holistic workshops etc. and set her own clock because she's self-employed.

What do you think?

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I agree with you, I think. What does this company do that she has a problem with?

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Kicky, what you're avatar is doing-- cigarrettes. I know, I know, it's not good, but I'm covering events for them, as in concerts, festivals, etc.

It means I get practice writing, as well as some good $, I'll be worry free for at least a little while when it comes to money, and it might lead to other more lucrative writing jobs.

She started quoting something about the Hopi Indians "Right Way" of life or something-er-other about choosing your "path." But, you know what? I'm a slow developer and did not have the clarity to be so specific and holy in my career choices.

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Most of us have hypocritical aspects in our lives. Vegetarians wear leather shoes....ecologists add to global pollution when attending conferences by air etc. What matters is the eqilibrium of the compromise in which friendship is also a factor.

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True fresco. As a matter of fact, I thought she left herself wide open to such criticism.

Another tidbit to the conversation, when I started to challenge her on her assumptions of my choices she ended up talking about how that very night was a new moon and it's a good time to wish for something you want.

The trouble I have with new ageism is it's a diversion. You say and think new agy because deep down you are really angry at the world. My feeling is, admit the anger...

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Offering no advice, but I'd like to contribute some angles I see in this.

I was wondering the same as Kicky "What could be so bad that someone would find an objection?" I was thinking like abortion clinic.

Then you hit my button when you said cigarettes. That stopped me cold, as they are a big issue to me. Although I could not personally do what you're thinking of, I don't think it would risk our friendship.

The money might be good for the short term, but have you considered how it might keep you from other lucrative positions, rather than help?

I suppose the negative impact wouldn't be so great if you were looking for a permanent position in a big company. However, I don't think it would help your chances doing marketing for the American Cancer or Lung Association. A smaller, privately owned business might not like that on your resume either. To be honest, I'd kinda have a hard time hiring you over that. I'd be conflicted in that "well, he seems really great, and has the skills, and experience, but jeez, he was working for an industry I'm so opposed to." It would take me a while to see past that. Then I think "well, I wouldn't turn someone away who worked in a store that sold smokes." Where would someone draw the line?

The working at concerts and festivals. You mean with young people? Promoting that product to them?

How do you feel about that industry, taking away the employment possibility? Think of some industry that you absolutely would work for, and compare your feelings. Where is the importance of the money in all this? How far would you compromise your beliefs to obtain that money? Then again, you may have no problem with the tobacco industry at all.

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The gad's honest truth, this ain't no stinkin' resume builder, I wouldn't put this on a resume, I want the $. I've done the math and it comes to about $25 an hour.

I'm a female, by the way.

Listen, I work with someone who took a job at Hooters because of the money-- she found the whole thing to be demeaning and not as lucrative as she hoped, so she quit after a while. I'ts about the money.

My friend and her assuming she has the moral territory about smoking is another matter. Not only does she smoke, but she has asthma.

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Well, on the other hand that could give her even more moral authority, if she wishes she could quit and can't. She could have an even more legitimate beef with the companies who managed to get her hooked than someone who's never smoked.

There seem to be (at least) two questions here anyway -- whether SHE has the right to criticize you over this, and whether it's the right thing to do. It definitely makes me wince, even though I understand the $25/hour thing.

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She's a hypocrite. My choices are not her moral territory unless I am intentionally hurting someone. This is an event, a concert. What single thing we do in our daily lives which has not in someway been touched by the hand of corporations? Unless you are living off the land, the shoes you wear, the car you drive, the clothes, etc.

And another thing-- NPR has Walmart as one of their underwriters. Come to think of it, my friend shops at Walmart.

Yes, it's the money thing. They have a lot of it. If this was some podunky publication they'd pay me 5-10 cents a word. That comes to about $5 an article. Break that down into about 15 hours worth of work and it comes to piffle.

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Sunrock wrote:

My choices are not her moral territory unless I am intentionally hurting someone.

Unless of course you ask her for her opinion or bring it up in a discussion with her. If you don't want to hear what others have to say then keep your decisions to yourself.

From your posting here it sounds more like you are simply jealous of the fact that she's managed to get to a point in her life where she has disposable income while you don't. Your bringing Walmart into the discussion is fairly interesting as well. Why do people look down on Walmart for selling out for a buck when they are trying to justify doing the same thing themselves?

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Sunrock wrote:

Yes, it's the money thing. They have a lot of it. If this was some podunky publication they'd pay me 5-10 cents a word. That comes to about $5 an article. Break that down into about 15 hours worth of work and it comes to piffle.

In other words, you don't care whether it's right or wrong if the price is right. Is that basically what you're saying? If you can live with that, then go for it. I think the earlier you start selling out, the bigger a sell-out you'll be when you get older.

But then again, maybe you can just do this one thing and still retain your integrity. Hard to say.

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Along with bringing up Walmart, I'm wondering why you brought up another person who worked at Hooters.

What does that have to do with anything?

It sounds like you're trying to make a case that if other people sell out, then it should be ok for you to do so also.

I don't understand how your friend can smoke (and has a breathing problem) and at the same time question your motives either. However, are you just trying to collect a bank of people who will say they agree with you, and not her?

If it's soley about the money, and you're ok with that, it would also mean you're ok with your friend disagreeing with you.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

While true we all sell out to corporate america to some extent or another, to be a responsible human being might mean to minimize this as much as possible. That way, we can be our own watchdog and avoid, as kicky said, in becoming an even bigger sell out along the way.

If all you care about is the money, go for it. But by bringing up your friend, that must not be all you care about.

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Hehe, well...you could just take the job, and then tell your friend that you'll quit when she quits smoking.

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I'm going to condense my answers here because for some reason the machine won't let me quote.

Okay-- do I feel I am selling out? No.

did I ask for her opinion about this particular job? No. She asked me what was new.

Am I angry at my friend for her comments? Yes. Not so much her raising the moral angle, but her assumption that if I lived more cheaply I wouldn't have to take such jobs.

Am I jealous that she has more freedom of choice in her life than me? Yes.

But that is not the issue. She is being careless in assuming that making the "right" choice ought to go as smoothly for everyone as it does for her.

I also raise the Walmart issue because if she were making her decisions based on what is "right" then she ought to forgo convenience and not shop at a place that exploits it's workers to the hilt.

As for the person I know who worked at Hooter's when she told me I thought, eeesh, but then I put myself in her shoes and said, she needs the money. I didn't parse through her life choices and consider how she could save money so she wouldn't have to work there. It's none of my business.

I am excited about getting to write these articles, regardless of the employer. However, when my friend raised this morality issue it set into motion some grave, internal insecurities I've been grappling with for a long time, and it lead me to believe that our friendship was a sham. A sham I tell you. When the foundation of a friendship becomes shaken, among other life challenges, a sadness takes over.

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Sunrock wrote:

I am excited about getting to write these articles, regardless of the employer. However, when my friend raised this morality issue it set into motion some grave, internal insecurities I've been grappling with for a long time, and it lead me to believe that our friendship was a sham. A sham I tell you. When the foundation of a friendship becomes shaken, among other life challenges, a sadness takes over.

This is just based on my own observations throughout my life but... Generally, when someone mentions that they have insecurities and they suddenly come to a realization that somone they have been close to (friend, spouse, etc..) isn't who they thought they were, it is a clue that they aren't dealing with the insecurity but running away from it.

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fishin wrote:

Sunrock wrote:

I am excited about getting to write these articles, regardless of the employer. However, when my friend raised this morality issue it set into motion some grave, internal insecurities I've been grappling with for a long time, and it lead me to believe that our friendship was a sham. A sham I tell you. When the foundation of a friendship becomes shaken, among other life challenges, a sadness takes over.

This is just based on my own observations throughout my life but... Generally, when someone mentions that they have insecurities and they suddenly come to a realization that somone they have been close to (friend, spouse, etc..) isn't who they thought they were, it is a clue that they aren't dealing with the insecurity but running away from it.

Perhaps for you my man, perhaps for you. I'd put your armchair psychology to the side, because I am not going into it. We all have our woes. However, if the world contained more people who were undertanding perhaps the world would be a better place. A lot less neuroses.

And, I always knew she was a snob.

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First, I think Sunrock has posted something valid and she has been honest about what is bothering her about the situation, including her own short comings.

The issue, the way I see it, is Sunrock's friend has betrayed her, not in a typical way, but by sitting on her perch and casting aspersions on Sunrocks choices. The field is no longer level, as the friend has declared a position of moral superiority while the friend is free to live in her own contradictions without it being a flaw. ie, her shopping at Wal-Mart.

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stuh505 wrote:

Hehe, well...you could just take the job, and then tell your friend that you'll quit when she quits smoking.

Not a bad idea, actually.

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Cliff Hanger wrote:

First, I think Sunrock has posted something valid and she has been honest about what is bothering her about the situation, including her own short comings.

The issue, the way I see it, is Sunrock's friend has betrayed her, not in a typical way, but by sitting on her perch and casting aspersions on Sunrocks choices. The field is no longer level, as the friend has declared a position of moral superiority while the friend is free to live in her own contradictions without it being a flaw. ie, her shopping at Wal-Mart.

Goodness, you get it. Thanks Cliff.

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I can see the argument for both sides.
I live in DC too by the way, and it IS expensive!

You need to decide how you feel about it, and what you think is right.

I think if you felt securely about your decision, you wouldn't have any problem defending your stance to your friend, and standing up for yourself. Challenge her statements, and provide your view on the situation. A little disagreement on issues between friends isn't the worst thing.

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Debate over working freelance for a corporation

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