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ATTN: Poets! Please help.

 
 
Reply Mon 30 Jun, 2003 02:49 am
This is my stab at poetry. It came about when I had a series of thought that I didn't think could be expressed otherwise. Since I am not practiced or studied in poetry, I would appreciate feedback!

We Are Locked in Cycles

Cycles are bad.
Nature is not a cycle,
nature is a force.
A cycle is a mindless repetition,
a force is in constant flux.
There are snowstorms in July.
floods in December.
The land constantly shifts under our feet
but we do not notice
for the vibrations rhyme with our own heartbeats.
A cycle is a series of pictures,
flashed over and over.
Pictures do not move.
Cycles are bad.
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jackie
 
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Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2003 09:03 pm
Sorry to be so long posting carriephonic.
I am not a real 'critic',
but in my view, you took your subject seriouslyand framed your thoughts in prose that reads well.

(I am not sure I AGREE with your philosophy about cycles, Laughing -
but in the sense you are comparing a "rut" to an "adventurous existance", I agree).

Insofar as your style, you are fine, and sticking to your thought is very good too. Let us see some more.
In this forum, I have found you have to give 'poets' time for things to sink in... Cool- then they will reply.
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