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Fri 15 Dec, 2006 12:49 pm
I went to an "all-you-can-eat" Chinese buffet yesterday. The whole thing cost only 4 bucks so I won't complain about the poor quality of the food. As I was sitting there eating my meager portion two enormous fat people came in and heaped huge piles of food onto each of their plates. After they consumed enough to feed the Seventh Fleet they went back for seconds - then thirds! I struggled to have a second tiny plate but I couldn't finish it. I'm thinking to myself, "those people are getting a great deal. They couldn't eat at home for that price. I am the one getting ripped off!" But I began to remember that this is America! The Land of Plenty! Obesity is rampant here. I am the one who is being left out! Even with my extra 10 pounds I am only 168lbs. Each of these folks must have been in the 400lb range. Someday I'm going to fast for two days, smoke a joint then go into that place and eat EVERYTHING! I will be there from opening to close.
It is amazing what people will do when they think they are getting something for nothing.
Yesterday, my husband's radiation oncologist had a Christmas party. I had assumed that it would be a nice, little affair, with a chance to socialize with the docs and the techs, NOT. They had a load of food and wine. The lineup was unbelievable.
We found a couple that we knew, and chatted for a few minutes. I then told my husband that if I didn't get the hell out of there, I would scream. I had plenty of food in the house. I did not have to stand in line like it was a soup kitchen, in order to get a free feed.
In my community, a lot of insurance companies, financial planners, etc. will give a spiel. In return you, can get a free lunch or dinner. When I first moved here, I went to one of them. Never again. But if a person wanted to, they probably would not have to cook lunch or dinner for most of the week.
I was once on the road, at a southern, "all you can eat" buffet. The food was plain, but pretty tasty. I guy walks in, in XXXlarge size coveralls, and proceeds to load his plate to the point, that one more kernel of corn, wuld have caused the entire plate to topple over. I was disgusted, and ended up eating very little.
How bold and trendy of you.
I can never eat enough either.
*sigh*
It's such a curse.
The manager of a restaurant which offered a Saturday Night "all you can eat" special centered on a victual of which my brother and I are inordinately fond once politely requested we let them know by Wednesday if we planned to be there on Saturday.
Along the same line, when encountering one of those "If you can eat it all, its free" steak specials one sees from time to time at truckstops and the like, I almost always answer the challenge. Never have I had to pay.
168lbs?
One hundred and sixty eight friggin' pounds?
What are you....like seven feet eight or something?
Over here, you'd be considered a right porker!
Signed Lord Nevan Ellpus - Six feet one, 78lbs fully clothed.
78 lbs. fully cooked ? ! ? ! ?
How much would you weigh if you were half-baked?
78 lbs?
for fukers sake, I could eat you for dinner.
There's an open invitation if I've ever seen one.
Once I took eight sons and stepsons (ages 8 to 18) to an all you-you-can eat buffet.
The restaurant had to put an extra beef roast on the fire.
Growing boys need ample provender.
We were a bit conspicuous, but most of the attention was friendly.
5'9 and 168LBS is still quite trim. Lord Elpus must live in a third world country. Skeltons weigh more than hm! I can see him as he crawls from place to place in search of bread scraps. A single pea would make a meal for him!
"You go now! You been here four owa!"
On the few occasions I've actually set foot in one one of those "all you can eat" places, I've had difficulty finding anything I want to eat!
Chicken wings are always a sure bet. I could eat a whole plate of 'em.
NickFun wrote:Chicken wings are always a sure bet. I could eat a whole plate of 'em.
While somebody sat near you, giving you looks of disgust?
I tend to go with the salads. Then more salads, followed by salad for dessert ..... . Best way to go until you can escape, I've found. Oh & a few drinks help, too!
A single plate should not prompt looks of disgust. However, 3 whole plates of everything from pork strips to chow mein to chicken wings probably would.
Generally, buffets and all-you-can-eat joints are losing bets for me. I get kinda queasy and anxious around all that food.
However, if there's a good North Indian buffet, all bets are off.
The first time Setanta and I went to an Indian buffet he asked me if I might be pregnant - it's the only time I've out-chowed him. Ever.
that's all you can eat
In my younger (hippier) days, I was often stoned on weekends and I could have put all-you-can eat places out of business. In fact, my friends used to kid that the restaurant-owner was going to come over and tell me personally "that's all you can eat".
Mind you, I wasn't a big guy, at just under 5 ft 8 in. So, aging has offered a cruel twist, however, as these days now I'm about 15 pounds heavier than in those days, and I eat half as much.
What scares me about my fellow Americans is when I visit those Buffet-all-you-can-eat-breakfast places when I see morbidly obese people come in and load up. If someone were drunk in a bar and trying to order more drinks, they'd be shut-off from buying any more booze. It's too bad that the same can't be done in these buffet places. "Ok, Sir/Ma'am, you've had enough..you're shut off. It's for your own good."
I'm not a buffet fan, but one did look good at our local Bombay Palace place, where I've eaten well from the regular menu.
Only buffets I've liked in the past were the breakfasts at some hotels in Mexico around 1970: terrific.
I've fairly sad memories of my mother and father and aunt and I going out for buffet to a place in west LA back when all was going to hell in a handbasket in their, and somewhat for me, lives. That would have been early sixties. Tense. Pass me the salt..
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