How do I get people to read my story?

Hi there booklovr. Good to see you back again. I haven't read your story yet, hadn't seen it before you mentioned it in this post. I did look at it and my first impression is that it needs what they call in graphic design some "white space." In other words, give an extra blank line between paragraphs so it doesn't look like such a huge wall of text. It is much easier on the eyes to read and you will get more folks willing to take a look at it if it doesn't give them a headache doing so.

Once I've read it, I'll make some comments in that thread. How'd your biology survey project turn out?

I think Butrfly's advice was good, that happens to be exactly why I didn't read it. I don't tend to read anything long on the computer, too hard on my eyes, so a long chunk of text with no breaks just looks unappealing. Maybe post smaller sections in seperate posts next time?

I did read the first para or two, and I was thinking along the lines of the comments you've gotten-- good writing, but heavy on the descriptions. Watch out for the ol' "purple prose" malady-- I tend to suffer from it myself, so I sympathize!