Domestic partnership

Princess, I hope this is not what your partner has in mind but here
are some information for you to look at

http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/living-together/cohabitation-property-rights.html

A cohabitation agreement (if still necessary) would be very helpful.

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Mahalo nui loa. I don't think things are quite that dire, but you never know about the future! We are doing better, but I worry and wonder if he could evict someone who he invited to share his bed, who he has a child with... The house we live in he built before we met, the mortgage is in his name. He pays it, per his choice. It helps to know what, legally, my rights are.

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I was in a relationship where I knew that if it came to it my partner would have thrown me out without thinking twice about it.
VERY SCARY!

In my current relationship I know my husband would rather sleep on the street than do anything like this to me and his child.
VERY COMFORTING!

I know you have lots of problems at the moment that need to be sorted out, but this is something you should not have to worry on top of anything else!
Is there any chance that you can have a word with him and tell him, what your worries are?

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Bohne wrote:

I was in a relationship where I knew that if it came to it my partner would have thrown me out without thinking twice about it.
VERY SCARY!

In my current relationship I know my husband would rather sleep on the street than do anything like this to me and his child.
VERY COMFORTING!

I know you have lots of problems at the moment that need to be sorted out, but this is something you should not have to worry on top of anything else!
Is there any chance that you can have a word with him and tell him, what your worries are?

My partner actually did tell me to move out in 30 days! He did this in front of the kids, which was very scary and awful! That was last Monday night. I'm not really sure of my status here any more, not sure what rights, if any, I have here... Needless to say, I don't really want to have to stay but can't afford to leave. I can't believe he cares so little about his relationship with my children that he could say such a thing within their hearing range, not to mention his kids, one of whom also happens to be mine!

Do I have any rights? The mortgage is in his name and I never paid a dime toward it. However, I am listed as his domestic partner at his workplace so have access to benefits through his place of employment, which I have used. We have one child together, 18 months old. I do most of the cooking and cleaning, drive the mom taxi (although he takes his child to school every morning.) He was going to use my children as his dependents for 2006 income tax since we lived here the whole time. (I was supposed to be a dependent also, but made too much money and was told I need to file separately.) Since he hasn't filed yet, should I declare them my dependents? I made about $4,000.00 last year + about $5,000.00 in disability.)

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I am so sorry to hear that, princess, but at the same time, it was written
on the wall.

Please contact an attorney immediately. You certainly have rights,
and you should exercise them. As for the income tax, use your children
as your dependents, don't give him the tax advantage over it.

I don't know how state laws apply in Hawaii, but again a good attorney
will help you. Don't delay this!!

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princesspupule wrote:

My partner actually did tell me to move out in 30 days! He did this in front of the kids, which was very scary and awful! That was last Monday night. I'm not really sure of my status here any more, not sure what rights, if any, I have here... Needless to say, I don't really want to have to stay but can't afford to leave. I can't believe he cares so little about his relationship with my children that he could say such a thing within their hearing range, not to mention his kids, one of whom also happens to be mine!

Do I have any rights? The mortgage is in his name and I never paid a dime toward it. However, I am listed as his domestic partner at his workplace so have access to benefits through his place of employment, which I have used. We have one child together, 18 months old. I do most of the cooking and cleaning, drive the mom taxi (although he takes his child to school every morning.) He was going to use my children as his dependents for 2006 income tax since we lived here the whole time. (I was supposed to be a dependent also, but made too much money and was told I need to file separately.) Since he hasn't filed yet, should I declare them my dependents? I made about $4,000.00 last year + about $5,000.00 in disability.)

You need to talk to a lawyer SOON. The mortgage isn't as important as you might think and you have the issue of a child.

It is very possible that you could get a judge to order him out of the house (or at least prevent him from tossing you out) on the basis that he has a responsibility to provide for shelter for the child you have jointly. You'd probably need to get a temporary custody order first but it can be done.

This may only delay an eventual forced move on your part but at least it would give you some breathing room.

Also, based only on what you've listed in this thread, he can't claim your other children as his dependents for tax purposes - whether you stay together or not. To claim someone as a dependent there are 5 "tests" that must be met. The 1st test is that the child must be a relative -

Relationship Test
To meet this test, a child must be:

- Your son, daughter, stepchild, eligible foster child, or a descendant (for example, your grandchild) of any of them, or

- Your brother, sister, half brother, half sister, stepbrother, stepsister, or a descendant (for example, your niece or nephew) of any of them.

Adopted child. An adopted child is always treated as your own child. The term "adopted child" includes a child who was lawfully placed with you for legal adoption.

Eligible foster child. An eligible foster child is an individual who is placed with you by an authorized placement agency or by judgment, decree, or other order of any court of competent jurisdiction.

Since you are not married to this man your other children are not his step children, etc... so the test fails. He can't claim you as a dependent either.

http://www.irs.gov/publications/p501/ar02.html#d0e3591

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So so sorry, to hear this.
Everything seemed to lead to separation, but to try and throw a (n even formerly) loved one out like that is simply shameful!

Get legal advice, quickly!
You do have rights!

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So, are things really not so bad, as you said in one post, or do you really have to be out in 30 days, as you say in another post?

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eoe wrote:

So, are things really not so bad, as you said in one post, or do you really have to be out in 30 days, as you say in another post?

He isn't making us move after all. He hasn't apologized, but he has begun talking about another future trip we'll all take a a "family" to Europe in 2009. Maybe he just doesn't know how to express his anger/disappointment? I don't know... English is his 2nd language, but he teaches in it and can express himself well enough to have tenure, so I simply don't know... I consider our position less safe than I used to, but otoh, the perks outweigh the dramas of moving out when I couldn't really afford to rent more than a 2 bedroom apartment for the 5 of us, and who would rent to us like that? So I remain in school and hope to get into the nursing program in 2008, then finish in 2010. In the meantime, I am amping up my massages and taking on as much other work as I can (so far it's been painting for a friend for 4 hours and mystery shopping for 1 hour.) That much extra work has been a burdon on the rest of the family, and I still don't have enough money put aside to get out safely if I had to... it's really tough... I can't really make any plans beyond one-day-at-a-time, and hope that whatever happens, we all land on our feet... I get to go to school for free so long as we are domestic partners, which is tremendously helpful. I have a decent car to drive. My kids get piano lessons and can participate in sports b/c I have a partner to help drive and also watch the baby. The house is centrally located... Then, of course, there is the allure of Europe...

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Listening, no bright comments ...

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I have no more advice either.

You know the writing is on the wall, princess, you're just kidding yourself,
but it is your life, and I wish you well.

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[quote="princesspupule"]He isn't making us move after all. He hasn't apologized, but he has begun talking about another future trip we'll all take a a "family" to Europe in 2009. [/quote]

Don't fall for that.
This just keeps reminding me more and more of my ex...

Demand some kind of security, don't leave yourself at his mercy!
Demand an apology.
Don't make excuses for him.

Did you get legal advice, yet?
You might need it sooner than you think!

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I did speak to an attorney who advised me to hire one of 2 cutthroat attorneys and establish legal and physical custody. My position is less than a spouse, and this is a no-fault divorce state. 28 days is all a landlord has to give to evict, too. Confused

So all I can do is what I've been doing, make money to fend for us and be careful not to make things turn sour.

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[quote="princesspupule"]My position is less than a spouse, and this is a no-fault divorce state. 28 days is all a landlord has to give to evict, too. Confused

[/quote]

That might be true, but you are the mother of his child and at least for the child he is financially responsible.

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Domestic partnership

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