THE BRITISH GROUCHY THREAD.

Over the past week or so, I have been followed around by a grouchy member with a large chip on the proverbial shoulder, who has made numerous attempts to rile me.

dyslexia wrote:

dlowan wrote:

dyslexia wrote:

dlowan wrote:

dyslexia wrote:

We of the great american south-west refer to the appendage exhibited by LE as "a wart with intentions"

Imperial or decimal wart?

Yes.

You are a beast. A beast.

You are, or course, aware that I keep a rifle on the mantel but disallow the lady Diane from knowing where the bullets are.

And that is what she allows you to keep thinking, you poor sod.

It's interesting this Steve.

It is interesting how anybody can go through an English education without picking up the simple literary skills which would enable a person to distinguish between the characters of two writers as different as Mathos and I.

If there was an honours course in literature I would ask students to write something crass. Something that had the real keynote of crassness. Meanwhile I would start up a leak of the question and offer on the Internet ready made Grade A ++. examples on subjects such as A Day in the Garden or My Time in the Orient at prices only the most sensible students could afford, even if only at the behest of their Bank Manager, and I would run off the required number on the submit button of some of Mathos's finest efforts. They are so, so authentic. It would be very easy to overdo crassness and tip into farce as Private Eye does. Mathos has the authentic tone.

The idea of drinking with him is ridiculous. Getting a word in edgeways would be the best you could do. Mt Athos obviously symbolises his head, his brain, his dick, his pectorals his assets etc etc etbloodyceteraallnightwithonlypausesforbreath . You know what I mean.

Read a few of his things and imagine switching into the mode I've just done. Not the faintest chance. Nor could I do his stuff. It would make me blush all over. And fail for understatement.

No. Her Majesty says- "My husband and I", and that's good enough for me.

I wrote it fast anyway because it was almost pub time and you know what a stickler I am for that sacred moment. And I wasn't all that grouchy at the time. I might have a proper grouch later on and show you what a proper grouch looks like.

It was a fairly difficult sentence to get right rushing and I think I did quite well with it. I might rephrase it a bit if I was editing it now.

Do you like grouching.. show us some Aussie grouch then.

The Queen's an idiot.

dwolan wrote-

Quote:

The Queen's an idiot.

That's no way for an upright citizen to speak of Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, Queen of Australia and Her other Realms and Territories.

It isn't even true. She's a very clever and resourceful Lady. Indeed had She not been She would assuredly have looped-the-loop by now. I know I would have.

If the Brits wised up and got rid of their stupid monarchy, whom would you nominate to represent the British people to the world?

Would Lord Elpuss do?

BBB

dwolan-

So! You're Scottish are you. Or is it Scots or Scotch.

I visited Islay once. And Jura. In summer of course. Beautiful scenery; pity about the people. Beer was £3 a pint.

According to the weather forecasts it looks a bit bleak in winter.

If the Brits wised up and got rid of their stupid monarchy, whom would you nominate to represent the British people to the world? BBB