Just some stuff...

Gold said:


Wow! Really? That's so nice of you to tell me about. I know it's kind of corny - but I'm a teacher so celebrating holidays with a poem is kind of in my blood- since I can't draw to make decorations (and I don't work with little kids so we don't make those turkeys from our handprints or anything). Gotta mark the day in some way. I started doing it when my kids were little and they still like my little holiday poems. They make me read them at the dinner table..

(The truth of the matter is - I just like to celebrate - in general - holidays are just a convenient excuse).

Hope you and your family have a great day.
(I would like to revisit your thoughts about the war - but not today- we might get in an argument- just joking..)

Lol, yes I love them, and yes we'll revisit the "war" later sometime. My teacher for Social and Behavioral Science Theory (fancy name, useless class) is the most liberal person in the whole wide world, so he talks trash about it a lot. I care about my grade so I don't delve too much into retaliation, but once in a while we'll get into a speil.

Hey golf - Funny you should mention liberalism. I've been learning a lot about it's origins and trying my best to defend it's basic principals (as I interpret them anyway) on another thread.

Why do you think your class is useless? From the title, it sounds like it could be really interesting. What makes it uninteresting or useless in your opinion?

So do you define yourself as a conservative, or is your professor just a little too liberal for your political frame of mind?

If you like you can just call me Bryan... .

The class isn't useless as a means to entertain, and it certainly excersizes the brain, but I feel like its just another class that they can give a fancy title to and a teacher. All we do is compare society to different things in metaphors, but the truth is anything can be compared to anything. I compared society to a coffee pot the other day. One could argue that society aims itself at a certain point, but is continually drained with little overall change on humanity. A coffee pot only aims to fill itself, but people drink the coffee and it holds them for a while. They are never completely satisfied, and in the end only raises their quality of life momentarily. The next day the same thing happens. I could go into human residualism, addiction, routine, etc. all day. I mean there are plenty of problems with the metaphor, but there are with every single one we've studied. The point is to find a possible solution through a metaphor, but from what we've studied we never end up finding anything we haven't tried before or didn't already know.

I consider myself mildy conservative to conservative, but either way the prof is just wildly liberal. I know I'm not as politically aware as I should be so I don't much get into those conversations, but I do believe that our government is doing the best or close to the best they can.

Bryan.

Bryan - Everytime I read your signature, I laugh- because now I feel like it should be my signature. Would you mind if I stole it? (I used to be a really good speller - I used to win spelling bees in school and everything- but it's a skill of mine that is slowly eroding with advancing age- and someone I know keeps pointing it out to me...oh well...).

I know what you mean about classes like that. It is hard to sit there and discuss the same questions and issues over and over without ever feeling that you come to any real solution. I think it's even more frustrating when you feel that you have come up with a solution and everyone's all excited for a few minutes or days, and then no change is implemented because it would take too much energy to actually "act".
The whole premise of that class sounds pretty weird though. I don't like thinking of things as metaphors unless it helps clarify something in my mind. If I already have a clear understanding of a concept, it seems like taking a step backwards to turn in back into a metaphor (unless it's some kind of mnemonic or learning strategy).

What do you mean by "human residualism"? Give me a metaphor...

If I don't talk to you again before your holiday (whatever it may be) hope you enjoy it - Rebecca (which you can call me if you want).

Rebecca-

You share a name with one of my three step-sisters! Borrow away with the signature, I was going to misspell it but thought it would be too cliche. I used to be a master speller as well. I've come to realize that its better for me to rely on technology for the technical bs and just write.

To be honest I'll complain about the class as long as you'd like, even though its over. I agree that its taking a step back. Why would I compare something I know to something different? I used to wrestle on a national level (brutish I know), and any wrestler who is a good wrestler will tell you that knowing how to wrestle and practice in wrestling makes you good. Things like swimming make you better, but not nearly as efficiently as actually wrestling. Ironic, but I just realized that there was a metaphor. I suppose they are alright, as long as it is used for one individual to better communicate something to another, as it was intended.

Human residualism... the likelihood of doing the same thing again. Like sex offenders, coffee drinkers tend to visit the pot the next day .

I'll take a Merry Christmas, and the same to you! Feasts, presents, a Savior: whatever warms your heart this holiday season I hope for abundance.

"As the years grow old and the world continues turning,
may the fires of love and hope and rebirth continue burning"


I know - it's a little corny and idealistic - but I'm happy to say that at least a small part of me still believes it's true and that if it is true in enough hearts, in yours and mine and the hearts of those around us - maybe someday we'll all find peace.

Anyway - please accept my best wishes to you and your family for a happy Christmas and new year - Rebecca

On another note: What weight class did you wrestle in? When I taught in a highschool in the US, a few of my students were wrestlers, and it was painful to watch them in the days leading up to a match as they'd literally stop eating and do all sorts of crazy things to shed some pounds quickly. Did you ever have to do that?

I was thinking "recidivism" would mean the likelihood of doing the same thing over again. "Residualism" sounds like residue or what's left over - that's why I couldn't really picture how it would apply to humans. Although I guess human beings all over the world are treated like residue, unfortunately.

What's your step-sister's middle name (the one who's named Rebecca)? I hate mine. But I can't honestly say there are a lot of middle names that sound good with Rebecca, so I can't be too upset that I don't like what I ended up with. I'm always interested to hear what other people combined the name with - to see if they were able to come up with anything that sounds remotely complimentary.

Again, Bryan. Enjoy the peace this season brings (especially to those who believe- even if it's only in the power of hope and belief in something). And thank you for your good wishes to me.

What a terrific image! Christmas was great and everything it should be: very little about receiving, a lot about giving, and all about family. My younger brother moved out at an early age (funny and complicated story, more like ran away from us and the cops) but was able to come and spend the season with us in complete absence of awkwardness. I was able to see a lot of my fiancee's family for the second time, all of whom I thoroughly enjoy. I hope yours was just as good.

To be honest I couldn't tell you what Becca's middle name is, but I'll find out tomorrow if I remember and post it. Maybe Lee or Anne? Something common anyway.

I've wrestled for too many years, so it'd be impossible to put a weight on it. Anywhere from 65 lbs to 160, and after (/during) I coached. I never had to cut but I know a lot of people that did and its absolutely terrible for you. Lucky for me I was a natural and other than a few pounds here and there I never had to cut to be good. By the time it got to the point of local competitiveness I was on my way out of school. I always enjoyed coaching and mentoring more anyway.

Peace is an unattainable and fleeting dream. Its ironic: the smart people of the world wish peace, yet they can't ever be right. The stupid have accepted conflict, and unfortunately the future isn't going to disappoint them. So the smart are wrong and the dumb are right? Twisted isn't it?

Its so good to see the level of peace rise though. This time of the year allows for a bit of a box method of living. No one can change the whole world, but everyone can contribute to their box. You never know what might happen when a bunch of boxes pop up.

Its great to hear from you again, and I'll be sure to let my family know my ePal from England sends her regards.

Bryan.

Hey Bryan- I'm glad your Christmas was everything you'd hoped for. I can understand how it must have been especially gratifying to have your younger brother back with you without awkwardness or recriminations. In my experience, reconciliation, especially among family members or anyone else with whom one has a bond that should be intact, is the most wonderful feeling. It always feels to me that something that has just been "wrong" for whatever reason- is made "right". I'm sure it meant a lot to your brother as well.

Congratulations on your engagement- is this a new event? Friends of mine just sent me a picture of their son- who I used to babysit for- standing holding the certificate he received for passing the bar exam beside his fiance, who had also just passed the bar. It made me feel old, but also so happy for him that his life just seems to be so on track-all of his dreams are coming true. He deserves it - he was the most interesting little kid. He stayed with me (this is before I had my own kids) for two days when his mother was giving birth to his younger brother. His father wanted to be able to be undistracted as they knew it would be a complicated delivery- so Stephen was with me. It was fun seeing the world through his eyes- and it convinced me I'd enjoy having children in my life someday. How about you - do you and your fiance envision having children?

I went to see Chris Jagger's (Mick's brother) band last night. He lives locally and plays pubs around here. Anyway, they were selling this bumper sticker that said "Peace through Music". I know it sounds deceptively simple and almost stupid or like some throw away sentiment- but I thought to myself - "Yeah, that could be the answer right there." Of course it would have to depend on what kind of music. Some music inspires anger, hate and rage. And I guess it might also be true that as you said, people in general just have to have conflict, so maybe they'd start arguing about what specific music should be used to achieve peace...but all I know is whenever I'm listening to music, I'm at peace- immediately lifted and happier. And when I'm listening to live music with other people present, there just seems to be a spirit of communion. It could happen, maybe.

I like your analogy of the boxes. I agree - do what you can do to make it better and hopefully everyone else will be doing what they can do.
What's your feeling on the whole Sadam/Iraq scenario? I so hope that doesn't spiral any more out of control than it already has.

Since I'm your ePal (that's nice of you to say), do you mind if I ask what you're studying and what you envision yourself doing as a career? If you feel that's intrusive, just ignore the question.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful New Year - Rebecca

PS- I'm glad you liked the Schiavo painting. I collect nativity scenes and have started collecting sacred art - primarily representations of Madonna and child.
I don't know why - I wasn't raised as a Catholic and don't necessarily believe in the concept of saints, but I find their lives fascinating and the art beautiful. I think I love the whole mother/child image that is represented in the art.
In terms of the nativity scenes, I just love the message of hope and renewal it represents. I also really like the way my family has focused on the international aspect as they've given me different scenes for gifts. I have one from Peru, one from Africa, one from Mexico, etc. It reminds me that people are people and a family is a family - and precious (at least to each other) no matter what part of the world they might live in.

April and I got engaged in August in a Navy Exchange... funny story really. Its encouraging to see things go the way they were planned. I'm happy for your friend's son and I think its great that such a success story inspired you to have kids one day. April and I are most definitely looking forward to children. At this point in time its not "economically viable" and would absolutely murder us.

Thats a terrific view of music. Did you see the compilation following 9/11? A bunch of recent artists got together and created a wonderful song full of hope and unity. The wonderful thing about music is interpretation. Since everyone has their own interpretation, it means something to everyone. It also means that it means something different to everyone. Getting music to different people would be difficult, as well as getting certain cultural groups of people to listen to it in the first place. If the music included vocals the problem of the language barrier would also have to be conquered. Was Chris good?

I believe that Sadam got what was coming to him. He was an evil person who manipulated a lot of people into doing some terrible things. I don't believe that it needed to be as public as it was. I don't believe that anyone has the right to judge someone else by them self, but I would have been just as satisfied with a hit from an assassin... to be honest. I am not one for politics (as you can see above lol) so I tend not to get into these debates, but I know what I believe. I believe that there is no known cure for terrorism other than force, and that we're doing the best we can. As far as spreading democracy, I don't know what to think.

I'm studying Criminal Justice with minors in Military Science and Biology. When I graduate I'll commission into the Army Reserves branched Military Intelligence. I'll go to a few military schools, DLI for Arabic, MI school, and get a deployment under my belt. By then I should be about ready to get out. I'll get my masters in Business and then go to a federal agency. If possible I'd love to be a DEA Special Agent, but I'll probably end up with the FBI or something.

Art is huge in society. I'd love to see some more of yours. How do you get ahold of such diverse paintings? Do you mind if I ask what your world view is? If you do mind I'm sorry, I guess I just did.

P.S. Have you seen Lucky # S7evin? I just saw it again and I love it.

I don't think I did see the compilation inspired by 9/11, unless I'm just blanking on it. Who was on it-what songs did they do? I think they were talking about music more generally- in the sense of the spirit that it engenders - and somehow translating that into something tangible like lack of conflict. I don't know-the logistics are hazy -I agree with that.

It was really interesting seeing Chris Jagger. Facially, you can tell he and Mick are brothers, but he's actually much healthier looking and less wrinkled and worn (I'd guess he's younger- but it also looks like he's not had such a rough life. I think Mick's lines are exaggerated-probably an indication of all the fun he's had...). He's not as thin, and has a similar vocal quality-actually a little less whiny than Mick, so in that sense, I think a person might say he has a more universally appealing voice. But he's not nearly as interesting, musically or visually. You can definitely see why Mick is the world famous one.
Chris plays kind of "boogie woogie rock and roll" as my mother would call it. Catchy, with a lot of saxophone, but after awhile, every song sounded the same.
It was fun though. Lots of people dancing, etc....

I have to agree in terms of Sadam. I was surprised at his demeanor and some of the things he said at the end. When somone taunted him, he just calmly looked back at them and was quoted as saying, "Why do you taunt me? Am I not only facing what everyone will eventually face?" (death, not execution). And then I guess he encouraged Iraqi's not to cling to hate as it will only get in the way of their purpose. I found those sentiments kind of impressive actually. It surprised me coming from someone like him.
I can tell you what the rest of the world thinks about us spreading democracy. They're not buying it. I work in a situation where in one group of people I had people from Wales, Albania, Jamaica, and Germany. We were talking about Sadam and the war in Iraq. They ended up saying the only way they think the US will learn the errors or their ways and realize and suffer for their arrogance is if they are "nuked" or bombed like they've done to other nations. They expressed the belief that they think the US was complicit in the 9/11 attacks.

I tried my best to refute those views. I'm not for the war, but I don't believe Bush and co. engineered 9/11. I tried to explain to them how American's value freedom and want to see the rest of the world enjoy the same freedom. They just don't buy it. We've got a lot of digging out to do (in terms of our international reputation). I ended by saying that they were stereotyping in the same way and just as broadly as they'd suffered for either their race, nationality, etc. They did agree with that. I tried to help them understand that they should not wish death on innocent families (I used my own as an example- because they know and like me). They said, "No Miss, we wouldn't want your family to die, but why do Americans want Iraqi families to die?" I had no answer, except to say Americans don't. Then they asked, "Then why did they re-elect Bush when they knew he would continue the war?"...I couldn't answer except to then try to explain the psychology of Americans, their do or die attitude toward things (even when it's obvious it's wrong-headed) etc.
It was interesting, and it ended amicably- we were still all friends at the end - but it was an eye-opener for me.

Your studies sound interesting- really interesting to me. I was talking with a forensic psychologist the other day - fascinating stuff. Stay safe though.

I don't own that painting. In fact, I don't own any original paintings, except by a few local artists. I have mostly prints, etc.

My world view is that we're all humans. None of us are more valuable than any others. I enjoy diversity and openness and learning about other cultures. I deplore close-mindedness and discrimination. I hope for the best for everyone, everywhere, and I grieve for those whose lives seem to be constantly in conflict, or who are suffering persecution.

How about you?

That's pretty strange stuff about the Jagger boys, maybe I'll go find some pictures on google image or something. The 9/11 tribute was a mix of all modern (at the time) artists and a few oldies. I can't remember who exactly.

I'm glad to know that you still take pride in America. I suppose its cliche to say, but its hard to be honest when you're surrounded by people with a completely opposite point of view. I would tell them that Americans are not killing families, they're saving them. They're (we're) setting up clinics, employing their unemployed, and supporting schools with materials and money. We help stabilize everything they have there. Many Iraqis are glad to have us keeping peace. Its a great notion, but for me I see no end. Like a psychotic drug, we're only treating the symptoms, not the problem.

I'm a Christian, but it sounds like my views are very similar to yours. Compared to God, we're all more or less the same. If you live on the premise that everyone deserves to die, there really isn't much difference. It was explained to me like this once: maybe I can jump higher than Saddam in terms of moral works, but if we're both trying to jump to the moon, there really isn't all that much of a difference. I'll elaborate more on this later. So you don't claim a religion?

My religion now professed, I'd like to post a disclaimer. I am also opposed to close mindedness, and believe that God wants to be tested. He doesn't expect us to leave our brains at the door. I myself am very openminded to practices outside of the normal "Christian" ways. I have no problem with people who aren't Christians and don't make it a point to press myself on them.

In the end I suppose I see it as more of a relationship than a religion.

I'll speak about my career later, I have to get moving. Hope all is well!

Bryan.

That's a good way to put it. I hadn't thought of it that way - but I think that's true for me too.

I'm glad you asked me whether or not I claim a religion, because I've been thinking about that, and I don't really know anyone I can talk to about it who would understand. Most of my friends are either totally non-religious or of that vague kind of "do good in the world, but don't really admit you believe in anything specific" kind of denomination (I'm not being negative-I think those churches perform a lot of good works- but they don't really promote any kind of understanding of my issue).

On the other hand, my family members who are religious are devoutly religious- to the point that if I said I wasn't sure I was a Christian they'd start very lovingly worrying about my eternal soul. I just don't want them to worry like that - and my mother is the type who would worry I wasn't going to heaven and beg me to commit on her deathbed -so I don't really approach the subject with them. It wouldn't be productive for any of us.

But I personally, do love Jesus. Always have. I love who he was, what he stood for, and what he means to me in my life. Having said that, I can't rectify that love with judgement against those who don't believe in Christianity. And I can't stand beside those who view people who believe something different than they do with condemnation. On that basis, I don't think most Christians would call me a Christian, so I hesitate to call myself that. Do you understand what I'm saying?

At the same time, I feel "peace like a river", and all "is well with my soul" (two of my favorite hymns) . I believe that God (in whatever form he exists) knows me and what I am and what I believe and will take care of me. Period. I've no doubt of that. So it doesn't really matter at all what I call myself, or what anyone else calls me. They're all just words anyway.

You were asking about sacred art. Here are some images by one of my favorite artists- Giotto. He lived and painted from the end of the 13th century to the beginning of the l4th. I think he was an amazing painter and he was a writer as well.
I especially love his use of the color blue in his paintings. It's not my favorite color in any other context except in his specific art.
Hopeyou enjoy them.

I know exactly what you're saying. It is hard for me to reason too. I know God is love, and its difficult for me to think of him as having the ultimate choice and deciding that unrepenting sinners have to go to hell. God can't be in the presence of sin, and without acknowledgment I don't think he has a choice in the matter. Its not his fault. I'm sure he could just admit everyone, but if that was the case then where would the freewill be? We wouldn't have the choice to praise Him or not, so what would it really mean? Its like a teddy bear who says he loves you when you squeeze him. Does that mean as much as someone telling them they love you because you earned it or because they just actually really love you?

I'm sure you know all of these things, its just something to think about. Its not God's fault, its ours, or theirs, or whoevers. Thats how I see it.

My definition of a Christian: belief in God, acknowledgment of sinful nature, and belief in the need of Jesus to rectify those sins. Thats all.

I understand people's frustration with organized religion every time I talk to someone like you or me. Judgmental people suck, and they of all people should know that its not our place to judge.

The paintings are awesome, and I totally agree with you about the blue. The second painting was my favorite of the three. I really don't know much about art, but its incredible how modern it looks. The faces and difference in detail in certain parts of the painting are abstract, and create the image of different pieces from different eras pasted together: there is kind of a timelessness about it. Ironic, considering what its depicting.

Those are both wonderful hymns. God says that he made man in his own image, so I imagine his form is similar to ours. I know thats probably not what you were getting at, but so you know .

Bryan- It's interesting that you asked this question. I've been struggling with this issue in terms of my son. And I have to ask if it isn't true that people love other people specifically because (in one way or another) those people do something to "earn" it- either by being someone you need them to be or that you enjoy for their particular characteristics. Do you understand what I'm saying?

In other words, you love your fiance because of who she specifically is to you. You wouldn't love her (or at least not as much or in the same way) if she was someone else. So whatever she is or does that is meaningful to you is what she offers you, and in return you love her.

I'm really struggling with admitting this, and it's really hard for me to say, but the person my son has become recently is really hard for me to love. Not the least because I feel that he's stolen the person that I did love so much away from me. I don't recognize this new person, and I want the old one back. I find myself actually grieving for that old person- so as I said, I look at this new person as some kind of cruel thief- yet he's still my child.

I don't know how any of this relates to God and how we should love him or how he should love us. I guess in some way it helps me to understand how someone who created you and wants the best for you can also find you lacking.

I find it helpful to talk to younger people about this because when I talk to other adults who are parents and have kids the same age - they just commiserate and say things like, "Oh, he'll come around..." and when I talk to adults who have younger kids, they can't imagine what I'm talking about. I know I never thought I'd be thinking or feeling these things even a year ago.

But I think younger people actually remember what they were thinking and feeling and can help remind me of the thought processes that might be going on. Because I was talking to some younger friends and explaining it (it's kind of taken over my life in terms of feelings of sadness and worry) and they said that I need to accept that every person has different aspects of their personality- and that the negative doesn't have to and shouldn't negate the positive. I do believe that and think it's true.

I know it's true about me, and I appreciate when people are accepting of that fact and understanding of me in that way- and I guess that all of us who believe in a God of one sort or another ask him to do the same thing.

Any words of wisdom?
Sorry to be so gloomy. Hope you are doing well.

I'm sorry for your situation. It must be hard as a mother to have these sort of thoughts. A couple of thoughts:

I agree with your friends. I believe that everyone has an "evil" side, and everyone shows it. I remember growing up through my rebellious stage pretty well, although it was never as bad as my brother's which is just now closing out. I remember how one mistake led to another. It almost became a persona I had to keep up; almost like it was expected of me. Perhaps you can find a way to solve that problem.

Your thinking of the "new" him as stealing the "old" him seems to me to be pretty destructive. I know that if there was a way to help it you would have, but it seems like with an initial impression like this it would be hard for you to justify him doing something right. If one expects (or goes looking for) failure, they're sure to find it.

How old is your son? I believe that you are speaking of his actual nature, not of his deeds, but if it is individual wrongs that get you down remember this. By God's written standard, we all deserve death. With that as a level playing field its hard to judge others. I'm not sure if I gave the jump to the moon illustration yet but if I haven't let me know and I will .

Again, I'm sorry about your son and I hope things get better. Remember, love is contagious.

I don't truly in my heart believe that love has to be justified. Did you love your baby as soon as you had it? I could think of certain reasons you would love him right away, but they all seem kind of ridiculous. Continue to think of him as your son instead of the "person your son has become." I love April for a lot of reasons. If she were someone else things wouldn't be the same.

You're right about asking God to understand. Some people might say He's easy to talk to because he listens and doesn't talk back, but I believe that He does. Try talking to Him and see what He tells you.

I hope things get better, I really do. Sorry I couldn't be of much help, but know that I'll be keeping you in my thoughts (and prayers if thats alright with you).

Bryan.

I understand what you're saying about the persona and how he might feel pressured to be or act like someone else- and how one mistake kind of leads to another. That's a really good insight Bryan. See, that's the kind of thing I forget about, being so far removed from my teen years and that whole atmosphere of peer pressure.

How can I find a way to solve that problem for him though?

I think that's part of my sadness and disappointment- I thought he had a stronger sense of himself. I think part of the reason I never thought along those terms is because I've always been so cussedly individualistic and stubborn - I can honestly say, I have never done anything I didn't want to do because of peer pressure. I've always had to take responsibility for my actions, because if I didn't want to do it- I didn't do it- and I don't care who was asking me or teling me to.

And I thought he was as strong in the same way within himself. But maybe he's not- and maybe I need to be more understanding of that.
.

Again, I know that's true. But it's honestly how I feel. I have however been trying to be more open to seeing the good parts of who he is now- even if he is no longer who I thought he was.
You know, the beneficial part of all of this is that I don't enjoy thinking cruel and negative thoughts about people, especially not about those I love - so my natural inclination is always to look for the good in someone. I can only take so much negativity before I just have to head in the opposite direction.


He's l8. I am speaking of his deeds, which are so uncharacteristic of him and surprising that I can't reconcile them to the nature that I've always known him to have.
He's always been a really kind, sensitive loving person (unusually so for a boy- he's just always been a very tender-hearted guy- that's why it's so hard to believe that it's really him who is behaving in such inconsiderate and hurtful ways). I prefer to look at it as some alien that's taken over his being in the hopes that he'll be back someday to reinhabit his body . Silly, I know - but I think that's the way that I hold on to my ability to continue to believe he is who he's always been. I guess it's kind of a defense mechanism.


Yes. I loved him before I had him. I loved him the moment I knew I was going to have him, and I loved the idea of him before that. It's hard to explain how deep and encompassing the parent/child love/bond can be. But in my life, there's never been another relationship quite like it. That's why it feels so sad when it's not right.


You were helpful and I appreciate it. You gave me different ways to look at it that I think make a lot of sense. I do feel more peaceful about it. I do believe in the healing power of positive thought and prayer, so I'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers- for me and for my son. Thanks Bryan.

I really don't know how to solve the persona thing. It was something I kind of grew out of I guess. This is where I kind of get lost.

To me, the most logical thing to do would be to try and accept him as your son. Punish him for his wrongs and praise him for his rights. If he really is going to return to his former self it will make it all the better, and in the meantime you'll find some peace. If he never does, at least you'll be able to love him, even if its not for some time. I know that you said this hasn't worked for you and that you find it hard to see him as your son, but I would advise persistence.

How old is l8? Did you mean 18?

I can't imagine the love of a parent and child, but I'm sure its great. The sacrifices my parents have made for me are so outside of reason. I know you'll find a way and April and I are praying for you daily.

Bryan.

Hi Bryan. I just wanted to get back to you to let you know that Joseph (my son) and I have had kind of a breakthrough. We had a really nice day together yesterday. Really the first time in about six months that we communicated without stress and strain like we used to be able to. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. It's like an old, best friend returning. Who knows how long it will last, but at least it feels possible again. And feeling that it's not gone forever is such a relief.

I want to thank you (and April) for your prayers-Rebecca

(Yes, he is 18. I typed it with the lower case l instead of a one. Bad habit from when I used to use a typewriter).