Chapter four
The wise women settled down to tell their tale:
"To suck peach pits from the forbidden overripe peaches of Vleg's home planet had been her only ambition as a child, but now amongst the weak wills of the universe Vleg began to increase her strength as she fed off their weaknesses, she cried and spluttered as she experienced dreams of world domination, and once that idea was implanted then, yes, she began to look for ways to kill the poor as a way of annihilating poverty, which was fine except for one thing which was that the poor downtrodden peoples of the universe began to fight back and made surprising progress just by throwing bricks at passing spaceships and loose change at Vleg herself who was allergic to bee stings and found herself swelling to a size twice as large as her delicate, green frame would normally allow.
Vleg would glow like a lantern if touched with bare hands. This tactic worked fine as it illuminated her spaceship and provided a target for the peasants, that was until some unscrupulous blackgaurd - an agent working on Vleg's side who had infiltrated the peasant government - posing as a touchy feely individual, spoiled it all by foul means when he made glove wearing compulsory.
Having deceived everyone he then exposed himself to the masses watching on cable tv.
This was somewhat of a revelation to such a trusting audience but they became rather angry when he made lewd and suggestive gestures with his extremely small body which was nevertheless toned like a peach or a bronzed Aussie lifesaver.
He told them: "I am a seducer of beautiful societies like yours, but today I don't feel upto the task anymore, infact I feel I ought to confess before you all that I'm a phony, a complete phoney and nothing but a media whore!"
The worst kind of naked pygmy approached the erstwhile president - even as he was making his broadcast to the nation - he had his penis in his hand, and he was shouting "What the hell kind of live sex show equivilant is this all going to turn into? We're talking about governing a country here!"
This was when the president realised the enormity of what he had said and then he knew just how terrible it feels to lose the respect of everybody around him.
"And where was that silly nincompoop..." the first wise women paused in her story before the mesmerised audience and the second wise woman took over the narrative before anybody could catch their breath, "Yes, where was that silly scoundrel the vice president?
