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I NEED SOME HELP IN UNDERSTANDING PADDIES

 
 
Setanta
 
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:08 am
I need your help in understanding the wild, untutored Kelt, so, please, help me with these questions:

*Paddy likes to stand around with a clay pipe in his mouth sayin' stuff like "Begora."
*Paddy beats his kids frequently, and would beat his wife, were it not for the fact that she is usually sober, he is not, and she's bigger'n him anyway.
*Paddy's dreams of technological sophistication usually involve a new combine-harvester.
*Paddy has red hair, green eyes, a turned up nose, freckled nose and buck teeth.
*Paddy would happily sacrifice his first-born, if the parish priest ordained it.
*Paddy supports the Provos and Man United, and sees no contradiction in this.
*Paddy only removes his wellies when going to bed, because his wife has said he must (see #2, above).
*Paddy is not superstitious, which explains why there are no mirrors, ladders or cats at his house.
*Paddy reads the Sun to deepen his understanding of the English political system, and never, ever looks at them pitchers o' nearly nekkid lasses someone told him appear in this worthy journal.
*Paddy like to go on holiday to the Costa del Sol, to increase the spread of his freckles, and thereby claim to have gotten a tan.
*Paddy thinks the Mexican border lives with his cousin Fergus in Boston.
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:13 am
Would you mind, Sir, to explain who the Paddies are? I have never heard of such a nation. Paddy, IMO, is just a short form of Christian name Patrick.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:23 am
The Irish spell the name Patrick as Paidraig . . . pronounced "porrick" . . .

The English, always having been rather slow and dull-witted when it comes to language, rendered this as "Paddy" . . .

The Irish have adopted this as a term of affectionate disrespect for one another, and will beat the hell out of any non-Irish who address them with this term . . .
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:26 am
Ah, thanks. Unfortunately, I have no opinion on the issue: the only person I heard of that was surely of Irish origin was President John F. Kennedy, but this is not enough to make up mind about the several million people.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:30 am
Steve's anectodote about Main Street reminds me . . .

Two American tourists are driving through the West Country, and become hopelessly lost in what they hope is still County Mayo. Seeing a farmer standing in a field, the wife nudges her husband:

"Honey, look, go ask that man over there."

Resigned to getting no peace unless he does so, the husband pulls over, gets out, climbs down through the muck in the ditch, over the low stone wall, tromps across the muddy, plowed field, crosses the next low stone wall, and across the muddy, plowed field up to Paddy.

"Excuse me, sir, could you tell me how to get to Lisdoonvarna?"

"No, i could not."

"Uhhm . . ."

"I don't know where Lisdoonvarna is."

"Well . . . i guess that's it . . . uh, thanks anyway, you have a good day."

And back across the muddy field, across the stone wall, over the next muddy field (Christ, the money these shoes cost me, they're shot now!), over the stone wall, down through the muck in the ditch, and, as he is about to get back in the car . . .

"Honey, Honeeeeeeeey . . . look . . . there's somebody else there, and he's waving at you . . . "

"(Sigh) . . . OK, i'll be back."

And, down through the muck, over the wall, across the plowed field, over the wall, across the field, he walks up to Paddy . . .

"Oi'd loik to intraduce me brither Michael, an' he doan know where Lisdoonvarna is nayther . . . "
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:31 am
ah, behold, the power of satire.
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:34 am
Poll Question wrote:
Although we could all live without the Kennedy's, our founding fathers were smart enough to know we'd need a Reagan someday . . .

Was the President Reagan Irish? I thought that he was a Protestant while majority of Irishmen are Roman Catholics...
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:36 am
I always thought that Reagan was Protestant...I would ask him, but I am afraid he would not remember.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:40 am
Actually, that gives me an idea for havin' lots of fun with the old boy . . .

Steissd, we're just here to have some ill-considered fun with vicious national stereotypes, but i will answer your question.

There have been 14 United States Presidents of Irish descent (including Martin Van Buren ! ? ! ? !), John Kennedy was the only one who practiced Catholicism. The other 13, including Ronnie Ray-gun, were Protestant. Protestants have been runnin' this dog and pony show for more than two centuries now, and they don't intend to go quietly . . .
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:44 am
um, ain't it Irish Catholic, not Roman Catholic? as I was raised by savage atheists, I'm afraid I'm not too clear on these matters.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:49 am
Well, Boss, there are Roman Catholics, and there are Byzantine Catholics, which is simply a plot on the part of the Irish to further confuse the core issues of Christianity, and regale them when in their cups . . .
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 11:54 am
A-yup. Sure 'nough, all alien to me. Some of my people were baptists, but, you know, once they got out to California and started growing fruit trees they stopped worrying so much...
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 12:02 pm
Is it true that Babdists are opposed to sex because it might lead to dancing?
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 12:12 pm
No, no, that's a malicious slander. They just won't do it standing up, is all.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 12:13 pm
god you crack me up . . .
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 12:18 pm
God's a funny guy. Short. Thick-rimmed glasses. Smokes a bit more than you'd expect...

http://www.laugh.com/gimages/comics/burns_photo.gif
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bobsmyth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 12:20 pm
I have a son in law named Paddy (Patrick). He could have said this:

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."
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fbaezer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 12:55 pm
Paddies (or "Patricios", in Mexico) are quite beloved here.
When the US invaded Mexico in 1847, several Irishmen were among the "polkos" (American troops).

Either because they realized that the American invasion was wrong (official history books) or because they identified better with Catholic Mexico than with Protestant America (Catholic school history books), or simply because Paddies root for the underdog and are natural born martyrs, a few hundred Irishmen changed sides and fought with the Mexicans against the Americans.

During the battle of Padierna, members of the Batallion of St. Patrick persuaded the Mexicans not to surrender and held up the Mexican flag (it's colors resemble the Irish flag). 90 Irish died in Padierna.

In the famous battle of Churubusco, 36 Irish were dead, 85 were captured by the Americans and condemned to death by hanging.

A month later, 4 Patricios were captured in Mixcoac and hung by the Americans.

Two days before the fall of Mexico City, in Tacubaya, 30 Irish were either killed in battle or captured and hung.

When the US Army took the city, 90 Patricios escaped, 16 where hung by the victors and the remaining 9 Irishmen were whipped in public, iron marked in their faces with a "D" for desertor, and forced to bury their comrades.

Every September 13th (battle of Tacubaya), the Mexican authorities and the ambassador of the Republic of Ireland give homage to the Patricios, "Los Mártires Irlandeses".
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 01:15 pm
Thanks, Boss -- i knew about the San Patricios, but that is more detail than i've read in the past, and i always appreciate getting more information on the subject.

Service in foreign armies has been a resort for a great many Irish since the "Flight of the Wild Geese," and they've served many masters. For the record, the U.S. Army did eventually take a lesson from this, and Catholic chaplains were provided, which was wise, as the Irish have constituted a good many members of the armed forces throughout our history.

The Irish Brigade, formed from New York-recruited United States Volunteer Regiments, fought with the Army of the Potomac in our civil war. The original nominal effective strenghth of the Brigade was more than 5000. When they arrived at Gettysburg, there were barely more than 600 effectives left. They knelt in a grove to hear mass, and then marched off to their destruction. The survivors were too few to form a regiment, so they were redistributed among other New York regiments, in which they were nearly all made officers or non-commissioned officers.

In his book So Far from God, a brief history of the Mexican War, S. D. Eisenhower has included as an illustration a watercolor done by an anonymous American soldier of the execution of some of the San Patricios.
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margo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2003 02:45 pm
We all need help understanding paddies! Laughing

Guinness helps! Razz
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