A short poem of sorts...

If he's doing Texan, he has to be "fixing" to do something.

I know a guy who likes to do American accents. Whenever he wishes to say something really stupid he gets all Texan. He seems to think that doing this gives his utterances more credibilty than they otherwise deserve.

He's probably a John Wayne fan. He does mince a bit now I think about it when he walks across a wide floor with all eyes upon him.

Did John Wayne have piles?

What does John Wayne have to do with Texans?

I have recently finished reading a book, written by John Wayne's grandson, Louie, and Louie claims that the Duke was not only a pedophile, but also dabbled in bestiality.

I could care less if the Duke went after the kids, but there only so many sheep in this world.

Well, that, Gus, but aside from those things, what has he got in common with Texans?

Edgar, I have long felt that you are the personification of Texas, and that the Tom Delays and George Bushes of the world merely are placed here to soil your image and project a tarnished image of Texas.

When I think of Texas, I think of the Alamo. I think of Jim Bowie and Davey Crockett. I think of Sam Houston. I think of Edgar Blythe.

I think of George Bush only as a receptacle for my spittle.

I think of Tom Delay as a butt plug polished to a fine sheen and offered to a skeptical public.

In other words: It is nice seeing you again, Edgar, after my state-imposed sabbatical, and I hope you continue your quest to make Texas, once again, a proud and admirable state.

Thanks, Gus. There are Texans I would not waste my spittle upon; however, there are such all over the planet, in one guise or another.

Over yonder, awhilago he went thataway
First, he went arunnin through the door
Narrowly escaping the fireants and snakes
While trying to change the o'l in his truck
He came face to face with a mighty bullfrawg
He tried to run, but his jeans were too taheet
And that monster buckle went aflying
Later, he sat 'pon his porchswing
Scratchin the chigger bites
Sippin on sweet tea
As his neighber came avisitin
"Howdy, Bubba!"
"Comon up, sit a spell"
Chawin his t'backee, Ol Bubba spit
Squarely in that ol bullfrawg's eye
After tawkin bout the fish not bitin'
And how hot it was lately,
Bubba had to go
"Y'all come back now, yeh hea'"

I've been hacked!!!!

American accents are all very well in very serious situations but they don't half sound daft in ordinary ones.

"Aahm gonna haaaave t' change Fraeaeynk's diaaaper agin corse 'ee' just hayedd another fayest dump and feeled up this wone. Ay Momma's werk ain't never done faith ahm awl tuckered out."

It might explain why they are so serious all the time.

Yer right, Spendi....you are a mother!

Been from coast to coast, boarder to boarder....heard about all of them from the New England states, where I thought I was in a ganster movie while relaxing on the over crowded beaches in Maine, to the southern states of Lousiana and Texas where the accents are easy to pick up, but a royal pain to drop if ever moving up northeast...like Ohio or New Jersey. Living in 11 different states has given me quite an unusaul "accent" but I hardly notice it myself. :wink:

Try speaking the blackforest dialect in Germany to the northern Germans....it is not just another form of German if you ask me...it is another language completely.

What is fun is trying to write dialogue using an accent without overdoing it....ahem.....which makes the reading of the text difficult. I tried to write an accent and hopefully succeeded in one of my books. It is supposed to be scottish english...or somthing like that. I probably murdered it, but I gave it a try.