BoGoWo, if you were whelped rather than born, you could indeed be a son of a b.... without slander of any kind.
I dunno; not being born might be a bit of a "stifler"!
Why do people like to see other people fail?
Because it makes those people feel better about them selves.
I'm going to go one step further on this.
Why do people strive to feel better?
If you had a choice to feel good or bad, what would you pick?
Then ask yourself why..
Same here. I mean, isn't it great when your friend/sister/acquaintance gets a new house or meets the man of their dreams or graduates and gets their degree or gets selected for the play? Don't you feel good for them? Even if you're envious, wish that you could have it too, aren't you proud of them and happy for them?
Those who aren't have to deal with their own insecurities on a daily basis. I mean, we're all insecure about something but to be that shaky has got to be pretty miserable, don't you think?
Salvador Dali said he could measure his own success by the extent
to which other artists despised him!!!
art
Shepaints, did Dali really mean to the extent that they disdain his work? I have noticed that we enjoy the failures only of those who do better than we do; we feel sorry for the failures of our (perceived) inferiors. I guess it has to do with competition. Our "betters" are winning, or we fear they are winning or are going to win, resources (prizes, raises, kudos) that might have gone to us. Our inferiors do not (by definition). The happy person is s/he who rejoices, through compassion, in the victories of all others. That person never loses.
It's jealousy, plain and simple.
Only a fews years back did I realize that most people are jealous--at least most people I've encountered. For myself, most of my life, I was always too darn busy living and planning my life to even notice what others had or had achieved. Didn't have time to be jealous.
I can count only four people in my life, all 43 years of it, who have been genuinely happy for me when life was kind, or genuinely sympathetic during life's down turns.
Special people.
Dupre;
You and me; who are the other two?
We can extend that to "the miseries" of others. A good case in point is when there's a big accident on the road; people has a tendency to gawk at the accident and oftentimes end up in an accident themselves. Misery loves company. c.i.
It always delights me to bring a little grin into someone's day.
Sozobe
Alas, I only discovered this thread today.
Sozobe wrote: "Hubris is an old, old thing (gosh I'm eloquent this morning ) and I think it probably serves a function in terms of keeping society from being too too stratified. Pride goeth before the fall, so be humble. If you're humble, you don't put on airs, don't have a house too much fancier than you need, share your wealth if you have it. Those are all things that benefit society."
Sozobe, I've always found you to be consistently eloquent on any subject.
After reading all the posts, this topic reminds me of Ayn Rand's philosophy and that of Social Darwinists versus proponents of the Common Good.
What say you?
BumbleBeeBoogie
JL.....I concluded from Dali's comment that the more successful he was with his art, fame and financial success, the more others despised HIM as a person!
The sad thing about jealously is that it is so often based on inaccurate interpretation of the facts. Many people who achieve stunning success have been willing to work a lot harder, exert more self-discipline or sacrifice much more than most.
Yes, my estimate of the few people who have been genuinely happy during those odd occasions when life has smiled on me is about the same
as Dupre's!
I found out that my dad was proud of me from my wife...he told her, not me. Oh well...old habits die hard, I suppose.
I don't know about humble. That isn't part of my own make-up. But no-one is really 'required' to applaud anyones achievements. It's an emotional response, not a given. Yes it is lovely to be admired and cuddled and told you are wonderful but don't you stop and wonder ... is it other people who are responsible for our sense of worth? Are we going to say that, if others criticize our behavior, that they have no right to do so?
I look at the mothers, in the not-so-distant past, who murdered their children. While the public and so-called experts belay the fault of the husband, family, friends, social workers, state, government, childhood and whatever else excuse they can lay their hands on, I am of the opinion that we are each responsible for our actions - whether they be good or bad. We are also responsible for how we handle the opinions of others - be they good or bad. If I murdered my children, then I better accept that a lot of people are going to be pissed off with me AND that a lot will sympathise with me. It goes both ways - for all those that laugh at someones fall from grace, there are still those who are supportive of them.
Dupre, my mother was extremely severe with us as children and at the time I hated her (yes I really do mean to use the word, hate). Over the years she has changed enormously and just the other day, while talking to her over the phone, she told me she was proud of me. I tear up just remembering that. It is the most beautiful thing she has ever said to me.
My mom never encouraged me or told me I done good, but all my siblings have. Now that our mother is gone, I'll never hear it. c.i.
I think you are all getting pretty 'down' about this issue.
I find it difficult to believe that people in your lives have not been genuinely happy for you at many moments in your life, and supportive when you needed it. What about your parents who applauded when you graduated college? Praise for a piece of artwork you produced, whether it be a piece from nursery school or for an art-show. For a dance well-stepped, for a dress well-fitted, for a hairstyle well-suited, for a job well-done. It happens to us almost every day that someone will compliment or point out or notice something nice about us. What a sad state of affairs if you never even see that.
As for the issue of this thread, the apparent delight of some people to the misfortunes of others (famous or non-famous) is a human characteristic within all of us. Now don't any of you tell me you have NEVER felt some negative emotion at the boo-boo's of ANYONE, be it a co-worker who shirked his work and was caught yapping on a personal call, or a school-mate who didn't fight fair and fell over his feet and busted his lip. We have all had occasion to chuckle over someone elses misfortunes and we do not even have to know them! How does all of these minor issues boil down to jealousy? Am I jealous of the bully, who had his comeuppance? I think not.
This is like trying to explain "hate". It's something that all of us will experience from time to time but we cannot be pigeon-holed into what we are allowed to hate or not hate. We are all individuals with emotions and minds that 'fire' over different stimuli, it's not the end of the world if someone falls on their face and a passerby finds that funny!
Not "down" in my view, Heeven, just realistic! I am not referring
to parents or family who "should" applaud one's achievements. It
just seems that any disturbance in the status quo provokes reaction whether positive or negative.
I am not sure that we should all be humble, though it is a generous
concept. Raymond Carver suffered terrible poverty and desperate travails in life. He was able to transcend but use his circumstances in the most poignant and moving fiction.
In later life, at last he was recognized as a brilliant writer. He finally
achieved a measure of financial security and delighted in wearing the most elegant clothes, eating the most delicious foods etc. He
certainly earned it!
Lol, c.i....
When my dad was a kid, with one brother, one sister, there was a saying in the family...if one came in with a 98% on a test, the question was "What happened to the other 2%?"
