Well, you're wrong. If the baseball bat sounds like a humane option, perforce there must be another, worse one. At no point did I say I would assault anyone, let alone a woman, with a baseball bat. Jeez, I shouldn't have to spell that out to you, but I can understand why you'd want to dodge and weave.
I'm sure your clients were real satisfied with your efforts.

If you were as good at lawyering as you are at spinning tales and deliberate misinterpretation, you must've been a regular Clarence Darrow.