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Sat 10 May, 2003 09:15 am
War Breaks Out in the Playground
Who hit first? Well I don't know.
It was Mick or Alan or Danny or Joe
All we could tell was all hell broke loose.
We did try to stop it but what was the use?
Well, Stevie got bashed on the back of the head.
He went down so we left him for dead.
Mick hit Micky on the end of his nose
And Danny stamped on Kevin's toes.
Micky was all bloody and Kevin got mad;
He elbowed Alan, now that was bad,
?'Cos Alan went for him - full blast
Punching and hitting - but it didn't last
?'Cos then Joe (who'd started it) (he's really tough)
Went straight for Micky and then it got rough.
Kevin went for Danny and Micky bit Joe -
(We all thought that was a bit low!)
But Mick kneed Danny, you know, below the belt
And Danny sort of went green and yelped.
Then Mick noticed he was in his own gang -
But as he tried to apologize something went Bang!
Well we all were amazed ?'cos we thought it was a gun.
If somebody was shooting then we'd all get done!
Anyway, everybody stopped (I think they were tired)
And as it turned out a car had backfired.
So they looked at each other and started-up again
Arms and legs flailing in a huge sweaty mass, but then
Mr Smith ran over looking really mad,
"What the hell's going on!" he screamed, but we were quite glad
Because it was getting pretty ugly there
And we couldn't stop it - like I said, who'd dare?
Besides it didn't really matter in the end
They all stopped anyway when the bell went.
All of them got up, one by one,
Bruised and battered and some quite shaken.
But they shook hands and smiled and dusted off the dirt,
Some were bleeding but nobody was hurt.
Mr Smith looked at them in disbelief
But he just stormed off to everyone's relief.
They headed off to lessons looking cheerful and bright,
"Cheers Joe," they said, "that was a bloody good fight!"
So you see miss, it's not my fault at all.
I wanted to take part in it but I'm too small.
Look, Miss, I've got to go or I'll be late for history
And we're watching a great video on World War Three.
JWDL
Ha! Nice one. Love the casual tone which still adheres to a pretty strict form (rhyme/meter.) And the closing couplet takes the whole thing to another level.
Dear Sozobe,
Many thanks. Is it pathetic to be so thrilled by such a simple gesture?
You've made this grey English Saturday very sunny!
Welcome, mr trips!
There are many people on this forum who have a much better understanding of poetry than I; still, I love to read it, feel the rhythms and the impact of the message.
I was startled by the last paragraph. As Sozobe said, it took the poem to another level. It sounds like boys will be boys and fight each other even after yet another world war. Are you sure one of those boys wasn't named George?
You captured the reasoning and inevitability of fighting among little boys. Too bad it doesn't stop after they reach a certain age.
BTW, I really enjoyed your poem. My first post was so wordy that I forgot to put in the most important part.
Many thanks
I am delighted that you enjoyed this little piece. It's always been a source of curiosity to me the way good people such as yourself react to different styles of writing. What I've discovered is that folk simply love to be entertained. I'm not particularly good at it, but it has shown me that poems often communicate more when they are overtly less serious or self-indulgent and more indirect. Children are merciless judges and I wrote this one for a class of 13 year old schoolboys a few years ago (their challenge - not just insane vanity!).
What they said about it after I'd acted it out is unprintable.
In the end, human nature is a hard subject to pick on and write about without sounding like an amateur politician or an inept sociologist. But 'man' nature is something I do know about - being one meself - so I felt that I was on more familiar territory. The sting in the tale was meant exactly as you perceived. I feel sorry that countries are, in fact, not like schoolboys who generally mean well and know when to stop. And bullies are supposed to grow up to be well-adjusted partners and trustworthy friends. Recent events prove the contrary when it comes to nation states such as my own.
Sorry to waffle, but once again, thanks.
Jon Lishman,
England.
Yes, now I understand why none of them was named George. They did know when to end and to do it with good nature.
I love kids of that age, both boys and girls. There is a naivete combined with their almost utter awfulness that is irresistible.
Please tell what they said. Noone here will mind a few bad words or obscene references, especially as related by thirteen year old boys.
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