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Tue 5 Nov, 2002 11:49 am
Tick
Ann's eyes popped open. Where was she? The question hardly formed before she knew her own bed and bedroom. What had awakened her? Had there been a sound that shouldn't have been? The shadows of the room were inky black so it must not be dawn. A soft breeze billowed the lace curtains, but there was no sound. Her house was almost as old as she was, but it did not creak just now.
There had been a dream, but what was it? There had been something about David. It seemed to her that the dream was something that had happened long ago during the war. She lay quietly trying to reconstruct the dream. It stubbornly refused to be recalled. Ann began to wonder if she would be able to go back to sleep, or if this would be another night filled with tossing and turning and yearning for the forgetfulness of sleep.
Tock
The shadows were dissolving into bright sunlight, the light of summer. Ah, the dream was returning. She was astride a galloping unicorn. The saddle was gold, and laughter was bubbling in her throat. There was gay music playing, a calliope. Beside her there was a riderless zebra keeping exact time to the music and the motion of her steed. She could smell again her grandfather's new mown hay. She giggled at the absurdity of it.
The music faded and her painted unicorn slowly came to a halt. The operator, who looked vaguely familiar, lifted her down from the prettiest horse on the carousel. She hopped to the ground, and skipped across the turf. In the far distance someone was beating a great bass drum. There was Poppa, and Momma. Poppa's big hands lifted her high into the air. He laughed again as he put her into her Momma's arms. She could smell her mother's hair, fresh with shampoo. Momma's was wearing her best earrings and they caught the light and sparkled all the colors of the rainbow. Poppa handed her a candied apple, and cautioned her not to get it into Momma's hair. She tasted the apple; it was the sweetest thing she had ever tasted.
This was a pleasant dream, so what was it that had startled her into wakefulness? Poppa said, "It's time to go. They're closing the park in a little while." Ann was disappointed and saddened that it all must end. The dream was so vivid, and so pleasant. Momma set her down onto the grass. She held hands with her very own parents and skipped along to keep up with their longer strides. "Slow down Poppa, I want the day to last just a little longer." The dark forest was near, and it seemed the light was beginning to dim. The drum stopped, and everything went silent. With a last sigh, the breeze fell into calm. Poppa looked down and smiled again at his little princess. "Hurry, darling. David is waiting."
Tick
The midnight chimes struck, but went forever unheard.
I love dreams and trying to interpret them because it's such an odd and distorted view into our subconscience. Clearly, you're using a loss of innocence theme (or at least growing up) but it's a little ambiguous (which is fine in dreams, of course) as to what the dark wood means.
* Is Ann not perfectly happy with David, and maybe does she see him as being the thing that took her away from her childhood?
* Is the dark wood the undefined war?
* Is there a fear and apprehension about growing up and/or growing older?
I'd love to see more on these people. If we know how old Ann is now (is she twenty-one, eighty, something else?) that might help to decipher the meaning of the dark wood. David seems to be somehow linked to the war. Am I reading that correctly?
Hi Asherman -- again, a great piece of writing!!
I love the rhythm of the tick-tock...
I'm pleased that you seem to like this little story, but disappointed that that my point wasn't taken.
I send these scribblings out to a set of recipients who have over the years indicated that they appreciated reading my stuff. This story appears not to be as strong as I hoped to make it, because about a quarter of the readers see it as only a dream. I'm pondering how to strengthen this tale so that the moment of dying becomes more evident -- without losing the dream-like and timeless quality that I think is captured in this draft of the story.
The feedback I get from all of you who read and reply is an important part of my attempt to write interesting prose. Thank you.
Asherman
Perhaps the writing reminds me of Bradbury as much as O'Henry. Please write more.