[B]Foolish sportspeople[/B]

They Said It in 2004
(from Sports Illustrated)

Make sure you buy your father a pair of sneakers so he can run to the ring and pick up the pieces after I'm finished.
-- Boxer Ricardo Mayorga to his opponent Felix Trinidad at a news conference to promote their Oct. 2 fight

I had something really, really super sexy, but they wouldn't let me wear it.
-- Serena Williams on the Wimbledon fashion police

That's the problem with him. Nobody has ever really grabbed him and given him a good beating.
-- NASCAR car owner Ray Evernham on rival driver Tony Stewart after Stewart spun out Evernham's driver Kasey Kahne in the Tropicana 400

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got a tub.
-- Andy Roddick on Roger Federer after Federer beat Roddick in four sets in the Wimbledon final

If a coach takes his team to the Finals four of the next five years, I'll kiss his feet on Fear Factor -- with cheese on it.
-- Shaquille O'Neal, questioning the Lakers' decision to let coach Phil Jackson go

Stay healthy, park in the right place, and if any teacher even mentions an exam, take it.
-- The offseason advice given by Florida State coach Bobby Bowden to controversy-plagued quarterback Chris Rix

If Al Michaels wants to give his political opinions, tell him to come on Crossfire.
-- Democratic strategist James Carville, reacting to Michaels' "flip-flop" joke during the Sept. 9 Patriots-Colts broadcast

I missed him like I missed my dog that ran away after eight years.
-- 49ers RB Kevan Barlow on playing without teammate Fred Beasley, a Pro Bowl fullback

The guy has a haircut like Davy Jones, and he has a New York accent. I mean, please.
-- Pete Rose on how Tom Sizemore portrayed him in the ESPN movie, Hu$tle

I'm like toilet paper, toothpaste and certain amenities -- I'm proven to be good.
-- Shaquille O'Neal, when asked about his continued effectiveness at age 32

What can I say? I just tip my hat and call the Yankees my daddy.
-- Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez after blowing an eighth-inning lead in a loss to New York

Do you want to go work with some little young kid who's just out of college?
-- Steelers guard Alan Faneca on rookie QB Ben Roethlisberger's first start

Shave your legs, take estrogen and work your way up through the Futures Tour.
-- LPGA pro Cristie Kerr on one way a man could arrange a round of golf with her

I wouldn't see him ordering a beer anytime soon. He's over there with the champagne and caviar and the strawberries and chocolate.
-- Fox broadcaster (and ex-NFLer) Tony Siragusa on Lions QB Joey Harrington

I just picked up my wheelchair and pushed myself to the end zone.
-- Arizona's 35-year-old Emmitt Smith on his TD run in the Cardinals' 34-10 win over the Saints

I'm not sure I can think of any scenario more enjoyable than making 55,000 people from New York shut up.
-- Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling, fanning the flames in the playoff series against the Yankees

I hope the guy sells two million books because I'll probably buy 100,000 copies and pass them out for free.
-- Shaquille O'Neal on ex-Lakers coach Phil Jackson's new book, which is critical of Kobe Bryant.

The people who do those stats, half the time they're spilling ketchup on themselves and trying to wipe it off.
-- Dolphins DE Jason Taylor, disagreeing with the stats that showed him with no tackles last week

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