Boomer--
Good for you!
May the assembled family exhaust Mary so that she snaps at her Near & Dear and her Near & Dear flee for high ground.
Good for you indeed.
Sounds like a really good, organic response. (What I mean by that is that pre-planned responses never seem to go as well as responses that come straight out of the situation, even if the core principles have been preconsidered...)
Jesus christ..
is mary dying? is THAT why they think he should go?
I agree with DD 's take on this. Mo is a tool they want to use to speak to mary and mend social fences.
If it WASNT that, there would have been no demand for his presence. At least not in my opinion. Now, if she had DIED I could see how they may say Mo should/could be at her funeral.
But this is just an accident. Shes alive. Paralized? She deserves it.
( sheesh.. i said that out loud didnt i .. )
Good job for standing up for what you think is best.
Can you keep that energy mustered for the rest of the phone calls you may recieve on this ?
Keep the stance of 'Mo is ab-so--lut-ly NOT going.'
I love Heevens idea, but you have not gotten much of a chance to really stand up for Mo as his guardian to these people . Now is the time to flex those muscles and I dont think this is a good time to start with lies.
You said yourself, that bio-woman could step in and trample anything at almost any time. Dont give her examples to go on with lies about a hospital room.
I would definatly say ' hospitals are not a place for kids and they rarely allow children" I would follow with " Mo doesnt know her well enough to be comfortable. Why dont you guys use this time to work things out and when she is out, lets arrange a time then? "
just a bit of confirmation on the kids in hospitals thing-
When Mr wolfs gramma was dying , they gave us a HUGE to-do over letting Jillian in at 13-14 months old. And I mean HUGE.
Hey, maybe you can call the hospital and see what their policies are, just to be able to quote 'em if they're favorable.
I woke up this morning wondering if bio-family knows that you want Mo to be your boy forever and ever. Do they suspect you might dump him when he's not little and cute anymore - and think they better keep their hand in because they'll get stuck dealing with him later?
<shrug>
Definitely one of those weird half-awake thoughts, but, I dunno.
Yeah, they know.
But I've had that same thought too, when fully awake, eBeth.
This past Christmas, for example.
I called his great-grandparents to see if we could drop gifts off at their house since Mo's mom was not returning my calls. It was a weird visit. It is really the only time I've ever requested a visit and I got the feeling that it made them a little nervous - like I was going to leave him there or something.
Adoption discussions are really carried out with Mo's mom and his paternal grandparents (since dad is awol). How much they share with others, I don't know.
Okay I'm just here to rattle around and destress a little bit.
Mo's mom called today soliciting photos of her and Mo together or of Mo alone to put in a scrapbook for poor, poor, pitiful "Mary".
I told her that I didn't archive that far back and that all of the early photos I have of him are currently passed around or in his photo album, where they will remain.
YUCK! YUCK!
I don't want her to have anything to do with Mo.
<shiver>
<gag>
Boomer--
I know what you mean. There are some people who verge on such pure selfishness and evil that you don't want them near an innocent child--including looking at that child's pictures. Mary has a gaze could turn Mo's photos into child porn.
Make a note in your detailed records that Bio Mom did not keep pictures of Mo either with her or with Mo alone.
Did the conversation end peacefully? I'm getting squirming feelings that Bio Mom is trying to prove to her own Neglectful Mom that Bio Mom is really a wonderful person and wonderful mother and shouldn't be neglected any more.
Eesh.
Definitely squirm-inducing.
That's a damn good point, Noddy! Over the first two years of Mo's life I provided her with literally hundreds of studio photos in a multiple sizes as well as a lot of snapshots.
I did mention that when we had those early photos done that I would usually keep just one for myself and give her the rest to hand out to her family and friends.....
Where did all those photos go?
It doesn't make sense that she wouldn't have ANY left.
Even over the years that Mo has lived her I have given her and her family many photos.
I know people lose pictures but fer crying out loud we have 100 year old baby photos of Mr. B's grandmother!
People don't really lose photos of their baby unless their house burns down, or floods, or something.
Aren't photos the thing that people always claim would be the first object they rescue from their house?
Huh.
And you know what else is weird?
That mOther is putting together a scrapbook of her life that her mother missed because she was too stoned to notice and she (mOther) wants to include a section on the children she couldn't be bothered with!
What a frikken family.
Everyone wants to play Happy Families--but they'd better use a doll as a stand in for Mo.
Any chance of diverting BioMom's energy from Mo into getting some counseling to help her deal with re-integrating an inadequate mother into her own life....
She can be a mother or a martyr or a jackass, but keep her focus on her as Misunderstood Individual rather than Mother-of-Mo.
mOther took the twins to vist Mary yesterday.
Two year olds, mind you, on a hospital visit to "grandma".
I got a call from Auntie T telling me all about it.
Oh poor Mary.
She is doing really well and everyone just loves her so much now.
My dominion is torn between shrinking down into the sewer and eating the city.
My dominion is "The Blob".
Steve McQueen is dead so maybe I'll be okay if I eat the city.
You'll get indigestion.
Rip a phone book apart with your bare hands instead.
Well, there's got to be plenty of fiber in a city...
This whole thing is just... what was the word? Hinky?
Very hinky.
And ucky.
Boomer--
After his asthma diagnosis, shouldn't Mo have a long, long rest from hospitals? After all children remember So Much that happens that they can't put into words because it happened before speech skills.
As for the current Bio-Soap Opera--you might pick up an extra box of tissues because sooner or later Bio Mom is gonna need 'em.
These are the twins who couldn't make Mo's B-Day party? Make a note of it.
Hinky, ucky, indigestion making soap opera.
I think Auntie T is supposed to be softening me up. I got the whole "she'll be here in the hospital for one more month then she'll be transferred to a convelescent center in City X".
Interestingly enough, I haven't heard a word from bio-mom since, I think, Mo's birthday. Maybe once since then. We even sent her a postcard from Disneyland and I haven't heard anything about that.
I'm in such a seriously pissy mood that really these people had better not push me.
Boomer--
One more month?
....and how else are you going to celebrate April Fool's Day?
Hold your dominion.
