I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?

I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?
Lord Ellpus, you've taken quite a licking, but you've borne it with grace and a wry, witty sense of humor... your wife must be very pleased.

Thank you for your kind words, PS.

It has been a difficult 10 months for me, here on A2K. You see....being English, I tend to fit into the stereotypical slot of being some kind of pervert who occasionally dresses in lederhosen and likes to wave around kitchen implements in an erotic manner.

The (mainly American)male members here are understandably jealous that they can't spell properly, do not know how to woo a woman, or dress in a civilised manner.
I have come to the conclusion that they are afraid I will steal the hearts of the female members, lure them away to a pleasantly furnished bedroom, and introduce them to the most exciting two minutes of rumpy that they have ever had, followed by a buttered scone and a read of a quality newspaper.

However, I must admit that their fears are not far from the truth.

Since signing on with A2K, I have come to realise that american women here are really rather groovy. Apparently, it is not uncommon for them to make love with the lights on!.....and they call the English kinky!

There seems to be ONE overriding thing that these ladies get worked up about, and that is sex.
Oh, and chocolate....TWO things....sex and chocolate, as well as penis size.

THREE things....sex, chocolate and penis size, not to mention a fascination with male underwear.

Bugger!

FOUR things...sex, chocolate, penis size and male underwear, with a curiosity for how we <AHEM> "extract" our thingies when we pee.....OH, GOD!

RIGHT!......there are MANY things that seem to fascinate the A2K american women, including the above, plus wanting to know all the intimate details of any relationship problems that may involve the use of batteries, unusual lingerie or handcuffs. They also tend to dive into threads that include the words breast, willy, shaving, sweaty, organism or leather.

Yes, all in all, the american woman is really rather racey!

MARVELLOUS!

I rezent dat. Mie cloze ar fyne an I can woo a wumin.

yeah? woo me, let's see if it works.

I'm not sure about wooing you, Dag. You happen to be of Eastern European extraction, and, as far as I can work out, they only get turned on when someone starts talking about potato harvests, or turnip production.

As I don't know too much about root vegetables, I shall not enter into any wooing attempt, for fear of embarrasing myself.

Now....if Gus were here, he would know how to push your buttons.

ooooh....you said potato harvest....say it again! please!

Cheddar man eh? Gorgeous

It would be better if you could see my young, sexy body.

<Pssst!....he keeps it in the freezer.>

I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?


You're welcome, my lord. But how one extracts one's thingie when one pees is not my thingie. However, I would add to that list of likes, silk stockings. ;-) It may be important to note that on my father's side, I'm second generation American from Germany, and of English and Irish descent from my mother's.



A handful of us in a slightly more subtle fashion...



Have those members not heard of SpellCheck?

oh.. woo... mmmm... such a delightful game considered antiquated by many men.

It would be nice to simply see a pair of tasteful, well-pressed khakis with a belt, a tucked-in tailored white shirt, and polished shoes, rather than jeans and a tee-shirt. Is this asking too much?

Nevertheless, to be fair and balanced, I have to say that some of the fellows here are certainly not what you might call "girlie-men", which does have it's benefits.

personally, I have always considered meself a "girlie man"

Re: I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?




Believe me sweetie, subtle you're not.

oh ? is it a turkey? i bet it's a turkey. well then, crazydiamond can fix the frozen body for dinner, ellpus may whip up some chips to go with from his potato harvest.

good gawd, i think i'm hungry. gotta go.

But only after you joined our self-help group!

I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?


dagmaraka, you may be interested to know that...

"Information about each variety is presented in table format complimented by the use of a colour scheme that enables the reader to get a quick overview. The following essential information about every variety is provided:"

Variety name: Including synonym(s)
Breeder: Name and contact information
Year: Year introduced to the industry
Countries where cultivated: Includes countries where it is grown other than the country of origin
Maturity: Early to late
Tuber shape: Round to oval, graphically indicated as one of 4 possibilities
Depth of eyes: Shallow to deep
Flesh colour
Skin colour
Usage: Table, industry, French fries, chips (crisps)
Disease resistance

(source: http://www.potatonews.com/knowledgecenter/books/wkk.asp )

oooh, look at me with your shallow eyes, potato.

<still hungry>

Re: I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?


My, are we on the defensive? No one said I was exluding you, madam. There is no reason to be catty.

I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?


Touché, dyslexia...

Re: I wonder what Lord Ellpus is doing right now?



Defensive? about what?

Coy is not exactly my thing....what titilattes men on the whole would be considered a direct hit with a 20 lb. mallet to a woman.

Takes one to know one.
Try doing something harder than stroking a man's ego that's something we all learned in "Being a Pretty Little Thing 101". Have some pride and abort the femme fatale bit.

Not being catty....and if I was....deal with it.

oooooh (giggle) did I say harder and stroking. ooooooooh.