Phoenix32890 wrote:Ray wrote:The thing that I find interesting is that, alcohol is a depressant.
It is common knowledge, in the mental health field, that many people, mainly men, self medicate with alcohol. Often men are loath to accept mental health services. In order to still their psychic pain, and allay their anxieties, some will drink to oblivion. If that person has the genetic makeup that would lead to alcoholism, and the person drinks to excess, the alcoholism will emerge, and take over that person's life.
Okay...I wasn't planning to get caught up in this topic; however, I see now a need to.
The fact of the matter is that I drank because I wanted to. The fact of the matter is that once I started I was unable to stop. The fact here is that I did not drink to subdue mental anguish or celebrate various occasions...although at times I used those as reasons for getting completely blotto. In the early years I would occasionally go to a bar; but my drinking was done primarily in the solitude of my own home. Nobody else around and often finding me holding that darned bottle like it was my best friend in the entire world. I did not drink to take care of social anxieties, I socialized the same amount with and without booze...very little. Again, I drank because I felt a pull. I am an alcoholic and the pull of alcohol was too powerful. Even knowing what would happen, I could not prevent myself from buying a bottle of bourbon, gin, vodka or whatever else was affordable that day. I knew it was killing me and I still could not stop. I did not drink because of an enjoyment of the taste. Except for red wine and gin I did not care for the taste...and still I drank.
Back before I first stopped drinking I went off for psychiatric counseling and I would have a drink before I got there and another after I had left. I was not looking to shun mental health care, it just wasn't going to get to my insides where the alcoholic was rapidly self-destructing. I showed up for work most of the time, although often not in any condition to be there or actually work.
I got lucky, eventually the pain brought on by the alcohol got me to seek some help and to then stop drinking. I did the A.A. thing briefly, then left for a decade. Then I picked up the gin again and started drinking room temperature beer at 2 in the morning. Within a week I was drinking round the clock and I realized I was beaten. A few weeks later, I went back to those A.A. meetings and it finally registered that I have to fight this for my life...same as an insulin dependent diabetic has a fight every day. We both have help but we have to take it.