@Sturgis,
Most likely: grate it by hand. It's cheaper by the pound and you can get better choices of cheese.
Which form of reincarnation would be scarier to you to find yourself in:
Waking up in an anime world where Digimon, Pokémon, etc... are real OR
Being forced to quantum leap between the characters of really bad (redundant) 80s sitcoms and reliving several seasons of each series for the next 100 years?