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PROTESTANT FEAR & LOATHING: THE SICKNESS UNTO DEATH

 
 
xk8jaguar
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Nov, 2005 10:44 pm
Dear Heavenly Father,

I come to you right now asking that you will touch Setanta's heart and help him to heal anything in his life that needs healing.

I also ask that you give me the spirit of forgiveness and that I might not lash back at him.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Nov, 2005 10:47 pm
We gotta a whole flock of holy rollers in here . . . who knew we could have this much fun ? ! ? ! ?
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Nov, 2005 10:50 pm
God bless you jaguar. He is a hardened heathen, which has caroused with the Serpent.
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Nov, 2005 10:55 pm
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Nov, 2005 10:56 pm
Dear Jesus, please give set the strength to be compassionate and...wait a minute...who cares about HIM?! I want a few things, lord! A tolerable job situation, a great new penthouse apartment overlooking the park would be nice...oh, yeah, and if you could manage it, how about a sexy girlfriend with a fantastic rack.

Thank you, Jesus.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 05:33 am
Jeebus ain't gonna help you Kick, you ain't no down-home holy roller like the hypocrits who showed up in this thread--you gotta suck up big time first, and even that ain't no guarantee . . .
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 08:39 am
I prefer praying to the OT god myself.

Dear Lord, God of Destruction I beseech thee. . .

Smite Setanta down with huge balls of fire, blacken his tongue and cause it to rot from his head. Shrivel his testicles, disease up his first born and give his dog a tapeworm.

I shall sacrifice 4 calves and the neighbors parrot to thee, oh mighty god of vengeance and wrath.

Amen.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 08:41 am
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
It's good enough for me . . .
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AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 08:46 am
Way to go Set! LOL
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 08:47 am
This is a fun thread . . .
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 08:52 am
Holy carbonara, dogman!

You now have a prayer chain going on in your honor.
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 08:55 am
Oh, and God. . .

Send a plague of locusts to chew on Boomerang's unwashed backhair.

I'll kill 4 heathens in thy honor.

Amen.
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AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 08:56 am
Count me in!

The angels, and all the powers of nature will protect Set, and his doggie from worms (his doggie from worms, not Set). *giggles*
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JustBrooke
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 09:18 am
Setanta wrote:
Jeebus ain't gonna help you Kick, you ain't no down-home holy roller like the hypocrits who showed up in this thread--you gotta suck up big time first, and even that ain't no guarantee . . .



Thanks God that believing in Him does not mean I have to be perfect ... because I never will be. But if my imperfection makes me a hyprocrite in others eyes, there's not much I can do about that.

Never lives my life to suit what others think I "should" be. Nor do I change my beliefs because they may not be popular with the "crowd." Would rather be made fun of.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 10:29 am
I don't and never have considered you a hypocrit, JBB--i have laid that charge against those who lash out at me and others who don't share their beliefs, while vilifying me and others who don't share their beliefs for their comments about believers--that's a working definition of hypocricy.

You know well that i do not subscribe to your beliefs. I admire and respect you, however, precisely because your remain true to what you believe. I don't know you to vilify others for not believing as you do, i know you to display a genuine humility, i know you to display a genuine charity. I know nothing of the sort about those whom i consider to be hypocrits.
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Nov, 2005 10:51 am
Check out who's been vilifying who--

Thou big bulging anger ball.
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 01:08 pm
Ideas for how to treat your Christian friends.

...in part--

The report tells, among many other accounts, of a woman in her 20s who was washing clothes in a river. A fellow washerwoman saw a small Bible fall out of her basket and reported her to the authorities. She was executed by firing squad.

That martyr got off lightly. Nine years ago in South Pyongan province, a unit of the North Korean army was assigned the job of widening a highway connecting Pyongyang to the nearest seaport. Demolition of a house standing in the way revealed, hidden between two bricks, a Bible and a list of 25 names: a Christian pastor, two assistant pastors, two elders and 20 parishioners. The 25 were all detained and, later that month, brought to the road construction site, where spectators had been arranged in neat rows. The parishioners were grouped off to one side while the pastor, the assistant pastors and the elders were bound hand and foot and made to lie down in front of a steamroller. As if following a script written in early Roman history, they were told they could escape death by denying their faith and pledging to serve Dear Leader Kim Jong II and Great Leader Kim Il Sung. They chose death.

Ms. Clyne quotes Mr. Hawk's report: "Some of the parishioners ... cried, screamed out, or fainted when the skulls made a popping sound as they were crushed beneath the steamroller."
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 10:48 pm
What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open
their skulls and ate up their brains and imagi-
nation?
Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unob
tainable dollars! Children screaming under the
stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men
weeping in the parks!
Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the
loveless! Mental Moloch! Moloch the heavy
judger of men!
Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the
crossbone soulless jailhouse and Congress of
sorrows! Moloch whose buildings are judgment!
Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stun-
ned governments!
Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose
blood is running money! Moloch whose fingers
are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a canni-
bal dynamo! Moloch whose ear is a smoking
tomb!
Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows!
Moloch whose skyscrapers stand in the long
streets like endless Jehovahs! Moloch whose fac-
tories dream and croak in the fog! Moloch whose
smokestacks and antennae crown the cities!
Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch
whose soul is electricity and banks! Moloch
whose poverty is the specter of genius! Moloch
whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen!
Moloch whose name is the Mind!
Moloch in whom I sit lonely! Moloch in whom I dream
Angels! Crazy in Moloch! ********** in
Moloch! Lacklove and manless in Moloch!
Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom
I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch
who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy!
Moloch whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch!
Light streaming out of the sky!
Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs!
skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic
industries! spectral nations! invincible mad
houses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs!
They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pave-
ments, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to
Heaven which exists and is everywhere about
us!
Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies!
gone down the American river!
Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole
boatload of sensitive bullshit!
Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and crucifixions!
gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! De-
spairs! Ten years' animal screams and suicides!
Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on
the rocks of Time!
Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the
wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell!
They jumped off the roof! to solitude! waving!
carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the
street!
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