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Mon 21 Nov, 2005 05:39 am
So like, Dude, what's up with them Protestant Fundies ? ! ? ! ?
Can't seem to face up to the facts
Tense and nervous, can't relax
Can't sleep, bed's on fire
Don't touch 'em, they're real live wires
Psycho Christians, qu'est-ce que c'est . . .
Fafafafafafafafafa
Better run, run, run, run, run, run away . . .
Them fundies, they are an all day trip. Lutherans and Episcopalians make 'em nervous, 'cause they ain't really sure if they're not secretly Catholic wannabes . . . and anyway, it gives 'em fits to pronounce Episcopalian, let alone spell it. They are hardly aware of the existence of the Orthodox, and anyway, all that primitve christianity stuff gives 'em the creeps. Muslims make 'em absolutely foam at the mouth. Of course, their biggest fear and hatred is reserved for the Catholics--Roman Catholics, that is, you can bet the most of 'em don't even know there is more than one species of Catholic, and they stand as much chance of correctly spelling Byzantine as Episcopalian. (Do you know where your episcopus is right now?)
Now the Jews, they're OK with them--provisionally. In the fundy universe, Jews are cute and cuddly, so long as they hold onto the "holy land," and kill lotsa lotsa Muslims. Once the final trump sounds, though, them Jew boys got about five seconds to turn christian or else ZAP--straight to hell with them.
Them fundys, they're hilarious--or, at least they would be, if they wa'n't so damned scarey . . .
I can't resist any thread that quotes even modified versions of The Talking Heads and since I'm here and don't really know what you're asking I'll just post the lyrics to "Heaven":
Everyone is trying to get to the bar.
The name of the bar, the bar is called heaven.
The band in heaven plays my favorite song.
They play it once again, they play it all night long.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
There is a party, everyone is there.
Everyone will leave at exactly the same time.
Its hard to imagine that nothing at all
Could be so exciting, and so much fun.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
When this kiss is over it will start again.
It will not be any different, it will be exactly
The same.
It's hard to imagine that nothing at all
Could be so exciting, could be so much fun.
Heaven is a place where nothing every happens.
Heaven is a place where nothing every happens.
I know what ya mean, Boom . . . after all that rapture stuff (orgasms for the sexually self-repressed), what are the holy rollers gonna spend eternity doin'? Singin' Hosannah's to Hey-Zeus and his Pappy? What a pair of puerile ego-maniacs those two must be . . .
I'm goin' straight ta Hell, i figure it oughta be easy to get a good poker game goin', and the hours will much shorter, as there will be so many more of us . . .
If you get to play poker then it ain't hell.
So, you know, we're good.
You know, another thought just occurred to me (pefervid imagination) . . . if them there fundy loonies got Hey-Zeus and God the Pappy, then they ain't monotheists no more, that makes 'em at least bitheists, and if you throw in the holy Spook, they's right back to polytheism . . .
I meant to write perfervid imagination . . . the lack of the goddamned edit function is really startin' to frost my cojones . . .
'K, Gus, five card draw, no wild cards, jacks to open, can't take the pot without showin' yer openers if no one bets after the ante . . .
I think this is disgusting. Yes, Set, easy to see how you do not hate God, Christians, or Christianity. Glaringly easy to see. You can't even type His real name.
Bite Me, Bobble Thumper . . .
But. but. but... don't you have an edit button?
I do. <prances off>
See... I'm editing this right now.
Setanta Wrote:
Quote:Bite Me, Bobble Thumper . . .
Hit a nerve, did I? Dish it out but can't take it? Just think Set, I got you upset without one time calling you a name or belittling you, just all by your own words.
Not at all, i'm havin' a ball with this thread . . . glad you dropped by . . . you claim not to belittle me, and yet you've followed me from thread to thread to fling an accusation at me, that i hate "god" (about as plausible as hating the Easter Bunny, or any other imaginary being), and of hating christians--so you lie when you make your feeble attempt to wrap yourself in moral virture . . . as this is all a matter of electrons, i am not subjected to the stench of your hypocricy . . .
Right....you can call John Creasy hateful, homophobic, etc., but GOD forbid anyone call you anything like that! I mean dang, all those nice words you post, how in the world could anyone misunderstand that?
John Creasy is hateful--it is only necessary to read his posts in the homosexuality is not unnatural thread, to read his goofy thread about "yellow races" taking over the world, to read his posts in any of the religious threads. If consider me hateful, i can assure you that it is a matter of indifference to me. Self-promoting religious hypocrits such as you are hardly the sort of people from whom i seek or want approval. I haven't stopped you from posting your silly accusations against me, so your protestations of hypocricy against me are meaningless. Call me what you like, i will never shy away from a slanging match with the likes of you . . . whited sepulchres, full of rotting flesh and dead men's bones . . .
I offered we stop it (in another thread).
I offered the olive branch. You declared war.
Setanta Wrote:
Quote:. . . whited sepulchres, full of rotting flesh and dead men's bones . . .
Hmmmm, would that be like a curse or something?
Momma, just because Set doesn't believe in your God doesn't make him hateful.
Lots and lots and lots of people, more than half the world don't believe in your God and that doesn't make them hateful.
Setanta tells his own truth. You tell yours.
If you can't take the heat, stay out of his kitchen.
Yeah, that's right. Stick up for him. His behavior is perfectly ok in your eyes? Fine.
I can take the heat. He doesn't scare me a bit. "He that is in me is greater than he that is in this world."
It may be his truth and that's fine. I don't call his beliefs or him names. I only used his own words.
Yes, his behavior is perfectly okay in my eyes.
His behavior is no different from yours.
Your behavior is perfectly okay in my eyes.
Your behavior is no different from his.
You two just happen to be at opposite ends of the spectrum in regards to the Christian God.
You're such a hypocrit . . . you've followed me from thread to thread, accusing me of hatefulness, accusing me of hating your imaginary friend, and accusing me of hating all christians--i repeat, you accused me of hating all christians. What an ego--do you really think you are the living, breathing avatar of all christians?
You crack me up . . .
Okay so I crack you up.
But do I make you laugh?
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