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Beautiful - 9/8/05

 
 
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:21 am
Beautiful, my Lord and King

No cause for grace have I giv'n

Still kindness shown astounds me

Gratitude fails and words lack in splendor

The debt I owe, paid not by me

For a life once given, is lost to the giver

But when given to Love, is returned eternal




This is the first in a series of poems that I'm still writing. I'm experimenting with a process that I'll elaborate on if people so desire, but for now I'd really just like some feedback please! Also, feel free to ask questions, I like invoking discussions. Thanks everyone. :-)

-Ben
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 724 • Replies: 11
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AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:24 am
I'm interested when your ready to elaborate.
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:25 am
Interesting.

What does the date in the title refer to?
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Mid7night
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:39 am
The date isn't really part of the title of the poem, it's just the date I wrote it. I like knowing when things happened, so I try and keep good records of stuff like that.

As for the process, it's nothing spectacular, I just didn't feel I should write about it in my first poem's post. :-) For the longest time, I would try and write stuff and make it rhyme. Now I know poems that don't rhyme isn't a new concept, but the process for myself was new to me. I basically just write what I'm thinking in response to the last thing I wrote. And I force myself to write exactly what I was thinking, not some over-flowery interpretation of it, no matter how silly or vulnerable it may seem to me at the time. That's pretty much it. It's more of an exercise for me to be honest with myself, and if a worth-while poem comes out of it, so much the better!
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Sturgis
 
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Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:45 am
okay then.
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AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:50 am
Mid7night wrote:
The date isn't really part of the title of the poem, it's just the date I wrote it. I like knowing when things happened, so I try and keep good records of stuff like that.

As for the process, it's nothing spectacular, I just didn't feel I should write about it in my first poem's post. :-) For the longest time, I would try and write stuff and make it rhyme. Now I know poems that don't rhyme isn't a new concept, but the process for myself was new to me. I basically just write what I'm thinking in response to the last thing I wrote. And I force myself to write exactly what I was thinking, not some over-flowery interpretation of it, no matter how silly or vulnerable it may seem to me at the time. That's pretty much it. It's more of an exercise for me to be honest with myself, and if a worth-while poem comes out of it, so much the better!



Like a better organized flow of consciousness writing?
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Mid7night
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:52 am
Yeah, that sounds good :-) I've actually never heard that term, but it does encompass the process.

Oh, and I forgot to mention in that last post that when I used to always try to make things rhyme, I never really liked it. But I hear it's common to critique onesself the hardest, am I right?
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Mid7night
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 08:58 am
If you haven't already, would you mind taking a look at my other poem? It's entitled "Listen." (not sure if I'll stick with that title tho)
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AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 09:00 am
It's called Stream of Consciousness Poetry. You write whatever comes to mind in whatever order.

Yes, your right.
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AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 09:00 am
Sure
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Beena
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Nov, 2005 09:59 am
Wow!
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Mid7night
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Nov, 2005 10:18 am
Thanks for that! "Wow" is always a welcome response. Could you tell me though, what was it that made you say "wow"? I'm actually trying to understand my own writing as much as anyone else, if that makes any sense.
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