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The Church of I Can't Belive Its Not Butter

 
 
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:20 am
What would happen if the clergy took on gluttony for a cause?

I started thinking about this on the hate-crime-take-your-Bible-away-for-preaching-against-homosexuality thread.

Obesity is a big problem in America and the Christian churchs are very powerful and persuasive. If they took on gluttony we would be a healthier nation.

I beseech you! Open the doors to the gays and bar the doors to the gluttons.

We'll have this country in shape in no time at all.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,527 • Replies: 91
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:25 am
I've lately thought of taking up the ancient Chinese attitude about religion: hedge your bets. Families would burn doss to the ancestors at a small shrine, and put a Christian cross there, as well as assiduously consulting the book of changes, and referring to Confucian platitudes when making decisions. However, i cannot get behind any cult which prohibits gluttony--after all, i gave up drugs, alcohol, obsessive sex and fingernail biting . . . fer dog's sake, Boom, what have i got left ? ! ? ! ?
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boomerang
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:28 am
Hmmmm.

Homosexual sex? Would you consider replacing your gluttony with a bit of sodomy?
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Setanta
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:30 am
You're not gonna make this easy for me, are ya Boss?
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Chai
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:32 am
Setanta wrote:
I've lately thought of taking up the ancient Chinese attitude about religion: hedge your bets. Families would burn doss to the ancestors at a small shrine, and put a Christian cross there, as well as assiduously consulting the book of changes, and referring to Confucian platitudes when making decisions. However, i cannot get behind any cult which prohibits gluttony--after all, i gave up drugs, alcohol, obsessive sex and fingernail biting . . . fer dog's sake, Boom, what have i got left ? ! ? ! ?


OMG - HOW did you ever stop the fingernail biting!
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boomerang
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:32 am
<whispering>

We've secretly replaced Setanta's Folger's crystals with a tube of KY-Jelly. Let's see what happens.

I don't have anything against gluttons. Some of my best friends are gluttons.

Of course, I'm not a Christian either...
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Setanta
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:34 am
Chai Tea wrote:
Setanta wrote:
I've lately thought of taking up the ancient Chinese attitude about religion: hedge your bets. Families would burn doss to the ancestors at a small shrine, and put a Christian cross there, as well as assiduously consulting the book of changes, and referring to Confucian platitudes when making decisions. However, i cannot get behind any cult which prohibits gluttony--after all, i gave up drugs, alcohol, obsessive sex and fingernail biting . . . fer dog's sake, Boom, what have i got left ? ! ? ! ?


OMG - HOW did you ever stop the fingernail biting!


A really hot little minx complained about my hangnails while we were fooling around . . . the motivation outweighed the compulsion . . .
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Setanta
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:34 am
Damn, this coffee really sucks . . . what the ? ! ? ! ?
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Chai
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:41 am
The best part of wakin' up

If K-Y in your cup.....
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roger
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:42 am
Are churches really that persuasive? I can entertain the notion that people pick their churches based on who's telling them what they already believe.
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roger
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:43 am
Ever think of replacing someone's K-Y with a tube of Bengay on the night table?
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Setanta
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:44 am
You're a cruel man Roger . . . crueler than Boom . . .
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boomerang
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:46 am
That's a good point about people picking churchs that already reflect their thoughts but I have one friend who left his church after all the yammering about the sinful homosexuals.

And he's been married to the same woman for 25 years.

He is, however, a glutton.

I've never considered a Bengay-KY switcheroo but I do on occasion threaten to put Nair in Mr. B's shampoo when he "forgets" to shave.
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DrewDad
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 09:54 am
roger wrote:
Ever think of replacing someone's K-Y with a tube of Bengay on the night table?

"Someone's?"
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 10:07 am
I've wondered at the recent enthusiasm for annulling the Sunday Blue Laws. After all, "keeping the Sabbath holy" is a Full Commandment, not just a Chapter & Verse issue.
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boomerang
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 10:13 am
Hmmm.

So how does one "keep it holy"?

Does that mean I might get a table at IHOP on Sunday morning?

If business weren't required to close, that is.

I envision signs "Keeping it Holy since 2005".
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 10:17 am
Yeah -- what is it with this picking and choosing stuff?

Not killing but not keeping it holy.

Wouldn't coveting cover gluttony?

Why are gays the target of Christian wrath and not the proud or lusty?
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 10:22 am
Lee Greenwood should change the lyrics of his song to something like:

Well I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free
To go straight to hell for being so prideful
God bless the USA
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jstark
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 10:24 am
boomerang wrote:
Yeah -- what is it with this picking and choosing stuff?

Not killing but not keeping it holy.

Wouldn't coveting cover gluttony?

Why are gays the target of Christian wrath and not the proud or lusty?


I suspect the reason for the frenzy of anti-gay rhetoric in America is related to activating the conservative Republican base at the polls. You can't put an anti-butter bill on the ballot but you can tamper with marriage law.

And hey, if your already at the polls to vote against gay marriage, you may as well vote for president, right?

Kind Regards
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boomerang
 
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2005 10:29 am
Hi jstark and welcome to A2K! Thanks for joining the conversation.

You aren't a glutton are you?

Some people in our virtual homeland don't cotton to gluttons but you're okay with me.

Just a little warning.

You're right. An anti-butter bill would have those dang diary farmers up in arms and when they get mad, oh giiiiirl, you'd better watch out.
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