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Thu 25 Jan, 2024 04:10 pm
i have been in a relationship with the sweetest guy for the last couple months. something feels a bit off, he is older than me so there's that to consider. also he is a widow. i'm not bothered by this though. i want to honor his wife and i want to know about her as well. he does have some photos up and we have talked a little about them but not much. i decided to google her and i read through a lovely obituary and another tribute describing her creativity and personality. i'm concerned because he described her so much different to me and he also lied about her personality as well he was downplaying her achievements. i haven't had a loss like this and i feel like i'm kind of being shallow in a way even reading into this. I just want to be with someone who can share the whole truth . Do you think that I should tell him that i read through the obituary and ask him why he has been lying ?
He might not be lying. People don't know what goes on behind closed doors. It could be that she was different with other people. I've known partners who mock, ridicule and scold their partners in public but never speak that way to others. Maybe her behaviour to him was quite different. So I certainly wouldn't accuse him of lying.
Also, I have rarely read a nasty obituary; people are not always truthful after people have died. She may have irritated the bejesus out of her family, but they're not going to say that.
Maybe you could just mention how it was that there were so many complimentary comments from others but not from him.
He is not necessarily lying; please don't just jump to that conclusion.
@ericaloki,
As a widow
er, I would run a mile from any potential partner obsessed with my late wife.
He deserves better, and your obsession is more than a little creepy.
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