Life Advice

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Hi

I was wondering if anybody could possibly shed any light on the below,
I am now 29, have a mortgage and girlfriend and feel settled in that respect however I feel like I failed in my last career path despite getting a good salary I never enjoyed it and got really stressed and angry all the time I ended up quitting despite the general manager offering me even more money to stay. But I feel like it was impossible to master the job and learn & remember everything so our team always suffered with mistakes, wrong parts etc, other departments in the office were always angry and thought you were retarded if parts were wrong but sometimes the engineers report did not give us a lot to go off sometimes. Anyhow, I am really struggling to not think about that job as it feels like I failed and to top it off I absolutely hate my new job and find it very boring compared the last one and the money is much lower. I really seem to struggle now I am getting older at not getting so frustrated and worried when things start to get crazy in the office.

My brother on the other hand is a high flying accountant earning a lot of money and we have a great relationship but even he has tried to help my career worries with advice etc.

To tell you the truth I really don't know which path to follow but I feel like time is running out to get my career path sorted and I am almost 30 and I feel trapped in a mind of uncertainty, I really want to master something but I don't know what or even where to start. Is this normal? I did get accepted in university years ago but never went, I know I love selling and upselling as it gives me a buzz that's hard to explain but to tell you the truth I feel totally lost and stuck out at sea?

Can anybody help me my girlfriend says I put too much pressure on myself but I really find it hard to sleep and relax because I know time is going but I am not on my way to an end goal (career path)

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@Chris93,

One, you can take aptitude tests to see what you'd be good at. Think about what you really enjoy doing and look into that.

Two, you say you like selling and upselling. Are you currently in a job where you do that? Have you considered being a realtor or similar job where sales would be involved? The beauty of that is you don't take instruction from, nor are you dependent on, others and you can set your own limits.

Three, I think your girlfriend is spot on. Chill out about it. It's not a life-and-death situation. You are only 29 - some people your age are in or just getting out of university. Others are bums who don't work at all. Others completely change careers and start over all the time.

Be positive. You have a supportive girlfriend, you're young, you have a home, and you have a job. Count your blessings.

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@Chris93,

I believe that you are doing well. The 2020's have been extremely difficult and a lot of people are doing quite poorly. At 29 you seem to have your act together.
You may be able to network through your brother. Find a job that you truly enjoy. Enjoy your relationship with your girlfriend. Don't worry so much about your life.
May God bless you.

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@Chris93,

I didn't really know what I wanted to do for a living until I was ~ 38. It didn't really become an actual job where people get paid until I was ~ 45.

So, you might just be ahead of the curve, and the world of work needs to catch up with you.

You don't have to love every moment of work, but a continual slog isn't just a downer. Stress can be cumulative over the years.

I once heard (or maybe read) this bit of advice: if you won the lottery tomorrow and quit your job, what would you do all day? And then that should be your actual job.

Welll, that's not always practical. I doubt you or I will be paid for sipping margaritas on a beach.

But you can still deconstruct the fantasy and consider why it's that one which appeals the most to you, rather than another. And if there is something practical in there, seriously consider pursuing it.

For example, your could be paid not to sip margaritas, but for product testing. Or perhaps you would be able to satisfy yourself with a profession where you could/would visit beaches a lot. Wildlife conservation, maybe?

Try to talk directly to anyone in a field that even remotely interests you. Not read their blog, but actually talk to them. Why do you like what you do? How much preparation or studying did you have to do? What are the boring parts? How competitive is the job market in this industry?

You might find none of it's practical, but it still gives you some ideas.

And no matter what, not knowing what you "want to be when you grow up" should be normalized already. How the hell are you supposed to know what will make you happy in 20 years? How can you know if your field will even exist later in your working life? Video rental clerk and buggy whip maker just aren't the jobs they used to be.

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@Chris93,

Dude your not trying hard enough. That is the truth. Being 30 and not in a high paying job is not fail. Your brother is an accountant, and honestly in my area we have white people who are Jews and mostly it is the women in the banking system who become accountant. You know what is dumbfounding and stupid? My grandpa had a payroll job ready for my sister but for some damn reason he did not want to request me for the job. You know why? Because in his sad mind ( that blew half a house money on some girl that killed herself ) that job was for a girl....yet he himself does that same job.

So cut the crap out and ask yourself what are you about.

If I was you and my mind was a blank and I believed I had academic abilities I would be a surgeon. That is it. They make tons of mistakes and all you have to do is remember

procedures
tools
anatomy
keep an average above a certain amount via per-requirements

Too bad I am not you and my mind is not blank.

Point being is that you need to think about your parameters while dealing with life. Yes life is going to have stupid people ( like the kind who wants to pretend to be Al Capone rather then thinking about a mortgage ) but the point is to stay on top of those stupid people.

Again maybe your just lazy. Maybe your surrounded by a type of lazy persons and they pull you down. Point being is that work is work.

AKA the amount of love you give is the amount of love you take.

How much effort you put into an idea is how much effort you will get out of it.

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