@Nicole731,
If it's like this now, it's not going to get any better once there's a ring on your finger—if that ever happens. This guy seems to be quiet breaking up with you, if you will (like quiet firing, but with emotions). Certainly he's creating an escape hatch for himself by avoiding a word like
forever. He is warning you. You need to pay attention to these warnings.
I think your family is right to be concerned and they are probably correct about him being depressed (I am not a doctor, and they probably aren't, either. But if it quacks like a duck...).
Have you ever suggested therapy for either his issues or as a couple? If you have and he's launched into
how dare you insinuate there's anything wrong with me mode, then he is not going to want to do other things to strengthen your bond/try to keep you together.
He has even withdrawn financially. You make less than him, yet you are footing the entire bill for the wedding if I read you correctly. Weddings these days, with ~ 100 guests in a decent venue with catering are going for ~
$22.5k. This could easily be your net income for a year, or a substantial chunk of it. This will put you in a lousy place financially. Don't get into that bad financial place. It can be hard to recover from it.
Don't beat yourself up about saying anything you didn't mean. That happens with everyone. But his remarks are cutting below the belt. And you are walking on eggshells, doing anything to avoid a fight.
You want to do that for the next however many decades?
PS If his relationship with your parents is like this now, what's it going to be like if either of your folks, God forbid, gets sick? Or they fall on hard times? Will he be willing to pitch in and help, or at least write checks? Or will he just sit there playing on his phone until it all resolves itself somehow without his input?
At the absolute minimum, put off the wedding. Give it, say, 6 months. If things don't improve, and in particular if he refuses any counseling or other attempts to improve the situation, then I think it would be in your best interests to get out before he spirals down any further, and he starts to take you with him.