Proposing with a 'proposal' ring before getting a proper engagement ring?

Sat 18 Jun, 2016 04:20 pm
So I am planning to propose to my girlfriend soon. At this stage we both pretty much know we will get married, it's just a question of when. I am currently saving up to get her as nice a ring as I possibly can. I know she wants to choose her own ring, but I would still like to have something to give her when I propose (which I still want to be somewhat of a surprise).

So my plan is this: Buy her a much cheaper ring, but still a nice one, that I will use to propose, and then after that we can go shopping together and get her a ring that she picks out. Then afterwards she can wear the proposal ring on a different finger or wear it as a necklace or something. Is this a good idea?

Would it be better to just propose without a ring, and use that money to buy an even more expensive/better engagement ring? Or is it nice that she will have two rings, one that was actually used to propose and one that she got to choose?

Please let me know your thoughts. Thank you.
Sat 18 Jun, 2016 04:38 pm
No, not to me it isn't. She already told you she wants to be in on the choosing of a ring. If she wants another ring, she can get one some other time. Are you completely loaded with money? Spending a lot on engagement rings can be a silly road to indebtedness, when you have a lifetime of details to take care of. The ring is a symbol of intention to spend time being engaged and then, as you work out your futures together, assuming you do, then to get married. It's the life together that is important, not a fancy ring to start the planning period.

A lot of people skip the whole engagement ring purchase all together. You, on the other hand, are interested in having a proposal ring and an engagement ring and, I presume, wedding rings. Better to talk about what you two actually want your married life to be like.

This is just my opinion but some others are apt to agree with me.
Sat 18 Jun, 2016 05:08 pm
I'm with you. Plus I doubt she would want to wear a cheap ring with her diamond or whatever stone is chosen.

How about a different bit of jewelry, a pin or a necklace? Or just flowers? It does not have to be jewelry all the time.
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Sat 18 Jun, 2016 05:27 pm
Stop with the rings.

Propose. There doesn't have to be a promise ring, a proposal ring or an engagement ring.

In theory, the person you want to marry wants you - not rings or other stuff.

Propose. If you need a symbol to help you through the process, pick something that reflects the two of you and how you see your future together. Kids/canoe trips/house/car/travel/whatever.

Once you've proposed, you can discuss your budget plans for the future - and that could include what is a sensible amount to spend if you both decide that an engagement ring is necessary.


Separately - a more expensive ring is NOT by definition a better ring.
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cicerone imposter
Sat 18 Jun, 2016 08:18 pm
Sounds like a good idea.
When I proposed to my wife, I was literally penniless, but I bought her the ring she wanted. I did it by making monthly payments on it.
I was working full time and going to school full time. I worked as a biller for a trucking company (night shift and union), and went to school during the day.

In one of my business class, I went to sleep and snoring. The whole class was laughing, but the professor told the class that I worked full time and went to school full time.

That was the only time I slept in class.
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Tes yeux noirs
Sun 19 Jun, 2016 02:36 am
It's the life together that is important, not a fancy ring to start the planning period.

This. It's slightly worrying if people get all fired up about rings etc, almost as if they believe that purchasing and giving them will somehow ensure a happy future.
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