Male/female alternating story word game!

Hi there, this is the one-dimensional cardboard-like character who prowls the aisles of Kroger late on a Saturday night.

Get your fingers in gear and write me some good lines, I'm beginning to feel a little superficial, can you get some heat into this situation soon please, I'm freezing my butt off here.....

Ms God seeing all this commotion draws her wand out and threatens to blow the whole lot of them away......unless....

the male creature, now fully revived, gets up and sees the enraged Ms God ready to do an Old Testament number. Thinking to distract, he disrobes right down to his....

.....Boxer Shorts, hey this things isn't supposed to be in 3 D-I'm one dimensional, the shorts won't stay up .... too late ......his pencil line is exposed - Ms God help- fill in my other dimensions so I can keep some of my dignity -Please

Ms. God smiles at HIAMA and says, "if you want to maintain your dignity, get your one dimentional self over to Mona's house and steal her money."

With the idea of being blown by Ms God into a more traditional and manly figure gone with the wind, male creature ran for his profile out the door. At first a slight bit of wind caught him and threatened to lay him flat but he managed to stay erect - so to speak - and continued on to Mona's.

Mona didn't answer the door at first, she was sitting with a drink and her swollen feet propped up, reading by her fresh 75-watt, catching up with the mail. Good Gawd what was that noise outside the door?, she thought to herself

Lola: Thanks for the comment about "rolling on." I'm happy we have had a couple of more folks join us (hiama & dream). Perhaps we can attract more. I hope others will find this amusing,
Meanwhile the cast of characters continues to grow as...

Mona slowly opens the door as far as the the little security chain would allow. Narrow enough, perhaps, to let someone who was cardboard thin in, but not a "real" person.
The girl on the other side of the door is crying. Mona thinks this has nothing to do with her.
"Mona, there's been a robbery at Tom Thumb. I think Nick's been shot."

(Now, should we clarify which tense we're writing in? I feel a need to have tense consistency. What shall we do, present or past tense? For now, I'll write in the past tense and will change it if necessary later.)

"****!" said Mona, "that guy's always in the line of fire. Is he ok?"

"I think so," said the crying girl, "they've taken him to the hospital and Big Al is havin to cover for him at work. And you know Big Al, he's not happy about it. They want you to come back and help out."

Mona couldn't believe her bad luck, she'd just gotten home and she was very tired. Besides, who was going to see about Nick? The young, good lookin kid was accident prone. Mona had a soft spot in her heart for the clumsy little charmer.

"Tell Al I said no," said Mona, as she reached for her jeans and sweater. "I'm going to the hospital to ask about Nick, you know he doesn't have any family. He's an orphan and his rich Uncle won't give him the time of day."

Nick's vision was a little blurry from the bullet that just grazed his forehead. The field bandage was still in place and had a nice little red spot on it. A badge of courage if you will, because it was he who actually foiled the robber and saved the store from bankruptcy thereby saving all the employees from starvation.
He lay on the hospital bed looking at the ceiling and try to focus his eyes when something in the corner of his vision caught his attention. It was ? It was - a slim form that he could not quite make out. Familiar - but too blurry still. Then a voice touched his ears, gently calling - - -

"Mother? Is that you?" Nick mumbled from beneath his narcotic blanket, "Mom?"

Meanwhile back in a basement club North of Lexington on 22nd a bunch of low lifes are hunched over a plan of the city.

A slimey lizard type guy with pin pricks for eyes and a waistline that would have flattered Fatty Arbuckle ( look it up !) hisses out of the corner of his mouth, from which a spit sodden cigarette is glued, " Wherestheguywhowasspposed to grease the corner shop ?"

"He's not back yet ", one of the stoolies ventured, just as Lizard guy swipes him off his feet.

(This guy takes no prisoners)

Lizard guy whose name is "Fats" complains,
" We sent out 20 of these cardboard clones, their hit rate is pretty poor, couldn't we afford the plastic ones ? "

Natchez, the owner of the seedy basement clip joint they had assembled in said " Youse get what youse pays for fats, aint that de trooth, waddayasay Mac ? "

Mac is spraying his hair with silver wax to make his hair shine in the moonlight and ignores the question. He is the money-man behind the criminal fraternity that inhabits this cesspool of a city.

Meanwhile back at Nick's bedside ......

the slim figure approached Nick's bed, but his vision was still fuzzy and he could only smell, and it seemed to him a divine perfume, a combination of a spring day after a rainstorm, with just a whiff of peppermint. He knew it couldn't be his mother, because she always smelled like the house the day after she cooked linguine and clams.

The slim figure was growing in size, the perfume was the glue used to keep the cardboard together becoming oxidised, however the cloning had gone badly wrong and the entity it was transmogrifying in to the most delectable female human you have ever seen........

Nick could be heard muttering under his narcotically drugged breath, "transmorgrification is a blessed event."

unable to reach the bed pan on the stand in the corner he spotted Nurse Ratchet's shoes.....

another delusion, poor Nick, will no one help him with the hospital staff?

Mona finally arrives and finds our young hero, Nick asleep with a happy grin on his face. Nurse Ratchet with a glowing smile.

Meanwhile Fats is calling in all the clones, only two of the clones are missing. He sends for slow hand Louie the coldest villain on the payroll, " Slow hand, I want you to comb the East side and bring back these low life scum, I want you to bring in the clones ( groans from all asssembled) "

Slow hand lets himself out of the club, he hears the words of some music coming from the club bar spiralling up into the night :

No-one dies in Cardboard City
Faces only fade away
Eat your pride and take their pity
Fight to live another day.

No-one cries in Cardboard City
That would be a waste of tears
Eat your pride and take their pity
Like you have so many years

Back home, all cured, Nick decides to strike out on his own. He's fed up with life in Midlothian and needs to seek the pleasures of the big city life.

Packing his best underwear and tooth brush, he decides to leave all his plaid flannel shirts behind and buy new clothes when he reaches the city. (not that there's anything wrong with flannel plaids)

He's sad to be leaving Mona behind, but decides that he must. It will break her heart, but a guy needs to separate eventually and now is as good a time as ever.

Catching the TNMO bus, he heads for Huntsville, bright lights big city, parking meters, street lights and a recently closed K-Mart. Down an alley he spots a dimly lit doorway "Nick Danger-Third Eye" it says. He goes in only to find Nick eating cold pizza and wearing a plaid flannel shirt. "Damn," he says, and here i am stuck with this hawaiian shirt I got from Roger. "Is this where I sign up," he asks.

Waking from his nightmare, in a cold sweat, Nick decides it's time to leave even if it is the middle of the night. He hops into his Mercedes CLK 55 AMG with Ferarri racing tires, he throws his bag with his favorite underwear and tooth brush (and ok, his worn out old flannel plaids) into the back seat. Slipping into the seat, he closes the door, turns on the engine rumm rumm hummmm, turns up the music, flips on the lights, and puts his foot on the gas. 0 to 40 in less than 3 seconds. He's on his way to Albequerque, headed West. No lookin back.