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My boss gave me emotional distress

 
 
gl367
 
Reply Wed 18 May, 2022 04:05 am
When I first started working for this company, there was no manager, so I had to communicate with the district manager over the phone. Before I started, I told him over the phone that I couldn't work weekends; there was no written agreement; it was all done over the phone. We finally got a new manager, and I told him about my inability to work on weekends. So, he would only schedule me during the week, but after about 5 months of working, he began scheduling me on the weekends and so I began missing the weekends he scheduled for me. He didn't write me up for it for a few months until recently. When I got back to work after missing the weekend again he had a meeting with me before work and he told me that he was very upset that I didn't show up or even call him. I I told him that he already knew I couldn't work weekends, and he still scheduled me he then said that there was no written document stating that. He began speaking to me. Saying I'm not sure what's wrong with you; you're older than me, so you should know better than to skip work without contacting or texting, and my sales are the poorest on the team; a 19-year-old straight out of high school is doing better than me, and he was perplexed as to what was wrong with me. I was devastated by what he said to me. I returned home and was very upset. He made me feel like I was old and incapable of doing my job.
 
Linkat
 
  3  
Reply Wed 18 May, 2022 05:39 am
@gl367,
Sorry to say I agree with most if what your manager said.

First, although you stated you were not available to work weekends, once he scheduled you the first time to work a weekend you should have given him a gentle reminder that you cannot work weekends. Since this was not written it is quite possible he forgot (managers have alot of juggling so i can easily see this could be the case) and needs and\or work situations change so he might have needed someone to work on the weekend. You not reminding him could have put your company and whoever else is working on the weekend in a tough situation. You basically ignored this and went about what you wanted without any regard for anyone else. It was irresponsible.

There is also nothing wrong with him pointing out that your sakes are the poorest. He should be doing that as part of his job is to relay job performance.

What he should NOT do is state anything about age. Your age and those of others do not matter...he should have kept to the facts...that you did not communicate with him that you were unable to come in on the weekend and that your sales were below expectations.

On the flip side did he verbally discuss with you not coming in on weekends before he wrote you up? Ideally a manager gives you a verbal warning and then a written one if you do not comply with the request. He should also be very clear on your expectations going forward ... For instance your must be x or higher within 3 weeks or this will happen.

One thing I can suggest after you digest this is to take the initiative and make a meeting with him. Make note ofwhat he said that distressed you. Just note the facts ... Then let him know it is inappropriate to reference a person age .. air that out but be professional. If you feel he was not clear on your job responsibilities or expectations, ask him to outline these as you want to focus on improving. Make him do his job which is to be clear on what you need to do to meet and then exceed expectations. Also ask him what he would prefer you to do if you are unable to cone in on certain days? Do you need to put something in writing, should you call, text, etc.

For you listen to him as far as steps you need to take to improve. Focus on that not anyone else or your age. No thing to note a younger person dies not have your experience not just on the job but in life experiences so you have value that someone much younger does not.

I manage people and I have had to hold hard conversations and let people go that were not performing ... I am also "seasoned" ...a term I know is used within the recruiting and hiring world to mean older so they don't get into trouble. I would make nite though of any reference to age he has made as it is inappropriate and may cross the line legally just in case you need it.

jespah
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 May, 2022 06:53 am
@Linkat,
This ^

To add, whenever a new person comes into a position, never assume that they got any background, training, or notes from their predecessor, even if time was set aside for training.

Something is always forgotten. And since this was something important to you personally, then it's on you to make that clear to your new manager.

As for things not being in writing, BTW, nothing is stopping you from writing an email that says,

Quote:
pursuant to our conversation on __(date)__, I have informed you that I can't work weekends and you agreed. I would like this email to be a record of our conversation. Thank you.


Don't assume managers will remember this stuff.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 May, 2022 06:57 am
@gl367,
Yes, have to agree with the above. If you saw you were scheduled, why didn't you say something instead of just ignoring it? Yes, he needs serious work on how to give feedback, but the feedback was needed. There is good feedback here amongst the criticism, take it and get better.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 May, 2022 08:23 am
@Linkat,
Oh my gosh my typing is horrible - this is what happens when I do it on anything besides a laptop or computer

Quote:
There is also nothing wrong with him pointing out that your sakes
Sales

Quote:
Also ask him what he would prefer you to do if you are unable to cone
come

Quote:
No thing to note a younger person dies
One.....does

Quote:
I would make nite
note
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 May, 2022 10:33 am
@gl367,
You have made assumptions.

When your manager put you on a weekend shift you assumed that he would eventually realise you didn't do weekends and change the shift rota.

He didn't.

Don't assume anything.
0 Replies
 
 

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