Is it superficial for a woman to not want to date a guy if he doesn’t pay for the first date?

Funny thing is I can remember my one and only blind date. It was a cousin of a friend of mine. She said we were very similar in likes and things we like to do so I figured what the hell ... it is a good friend I would doubt she would fix me up with a “ loser”. Worst case just go out and have a nice dinner.

So I walk in ... first impression was not my type. At the time I was an avid fitness person worked out at least 4 times a week.. he did not look like he worked out ever. But I figure we’ll likely he is a nice guy and we might just have some pleasant conversation.

We have a drink and then go out to dinner... as you mention in Boston it is not going to be under 100. So in talking I mention in passing a champagne I like... forget how it was brought up so he proceeds to order it... not cheap at all. Later he talks about how if we were serious he could take care of me that I would never worry about money.

That kind of ended it for me. I wasn’t rich but I was more than capable of caring for myself ... so you see not everyone wants someone to spend 100s of dollars on them ... most ... granted I know those that would.... rather have someone they generally care about overall ... that was all I expected financially was someone that could financially care for themselves not care for me and that I generally liked.

For the record... I did start working out.

So it was you! You didn't get any.

I got some alright... from the next woman.

She got the house and half of my savings. She really doesn't need to work again.

I don't know, but I think you might have played your hand better.

I grew up in Rhode Island and never had a date totaling $100.

I suppose that depends on whether your date is taking you to Bouchards, or Arby's.

At Bouchard's (which I chose randomly from a list of good restaurants in Rhode Island). Entrees run from $27 to $46. That means $60 for just entrees. A bottle of less expensive wine adds $20. Add tax and tip and you are over $100 without talking about dessert.

Ok..let's start with the fact that wine isn't a concern since it makes me sick and I am not a drinker in the first place. Second, I wouldn't pay that price to eat, and I wouldn't expect anyone else to, either. That isn't what is important to me.

So, what are you after? Assuming you are over the age of 19, I assume you are dating with the goal of finding a sexual relationship. You don't date as part of a friendship. It is part of a mating ritual.

You are a cheap date. I would appreciate that (except I enjoy a nice glass of wine).

Well Max that is the best of both worlds - you could still have a nice glass of wine while she has a glass of water. You save money on the date but still enjoy your side of things.

... except that one of the features of wine is that it lowers inhibitions. If my dinner date didn't partake, I hope that wouldn't be an issue later.

lol - that's funny. Not everyone needs or wants to drink in order to engage in sex. If it gave someone a headache, now THAT would be more likely to inhibit sex.

And too much wine is going to make her a sloppy drunk - more likely get sick on the ride to your bachelor pad and then pass out.

If you need to ply a woman with a drink to get her to sleep with you - you might not be quite the catch you think you are!

After a lot of experience and experimentation, the answer is 1 or 2 glasses. Often I will buy her two glasses of wine, and end up drinking the final half glass myself.

That seems to be the right amount of wine put both of us in the correct state of mind.

Sorry but I think I'd need more wine --- maybe a shot or two as well.

Ouch! Linkat. That was a burn!

Sorry... you need a glass of "...wine to get into the correct state of mind..."? Thought you guys had your circuitry wired for that.

Mame, Linkat and I are just joking around. Your comment seems a little personal for a humorous tangent. Maybe I am reading you wrong.

I don't dislike you. I suspect we may even get along in real life.

I am speaking of past experiences. I am 55, and thankfully done with all that nonsense. I WAS always looking for a mature relationship, not to be added to someone's "conquest list".

Did you ever have a "conquest list"? I never did. I suspect that the "conquest list" is more of a female fantasy than it is a male reality... at least I have never heard males talking about them outside of movies (or perhaps supreme court confirmation hearings).

I have gone through different phases in my life. In some of them I was looking for a more of a short term physical relationship. In other times I was looking for more long term monotonous relationship.

I don't know what you mean by "mature" relationship. That sounds like a euphemism for an older man (I doubt that is what you mean). To me, a one night stand is a perfectly "mature" relationship as long as both people are being honest about what they want and act responsibly.

So you don’t know that “friend” of mine that I mentioned previously … the one who have sex at the drop of a hat? Seriously it isn’t an actual written down list … but more he mentally calculated his conquests.

I remember him telling me he was going on a cruise because more single women are on cruises than men and he was making up a character for himself to be more impressive