Is it superficial for a woman to not want to date a guy if he doesn’t pay for the first date?

Yeah that's superficial. What's even more superficial is that you set up a situation where this is ecen an issue. Can't people these days think of a more interesting date than dinner at a restaurant? Go hiking, skiing, riding a bike. Maybe walk in the park. Or just goof off. Many of these are active, interesting, and don't cost a dime.

I do not understand that.

What I want from a woman is companionship, not to be reminded of the fact that I hate that I have male genitalia, when I wish I were a girl who dated girls.

Also, I'm kinda an ace.

Never really liked dinner dates. Don't have the money to spend on a restaurant, capable of making my own food, and don't understand the point of hiring a third party to cook then making others feel guilty because they don't wanna pay.

You identify as a woman, right? I have always thought of you as a woman here.

I am specifically talking from a cis-gendered heterosexual male view of dating. The OP implies strictly traditional gender roles. If you don't fit into that particular paradigm then the rules don't apply.

Marriage is supposed to be an intimate relationship between a man and a woman where both partners act in the best interest of the other person. Sex is the ultimate expression of this intimacy
Sex was never meant to be a form of legal prostitution.

This sentence is in passive tense. It makes no sense. Who is doing the intending here?

Sex is an irrational drive that causes animals from humans to wolves to snakes to exchange genetic information. It just happens and it happens inany forms from the one time deadly flight of a flying ant (where the male dies) to weird rape in ducks where the female chooses the father, to prostitution in penguins.

Sex is simply a biological urge that often results in an transfer of genes.

It means whatever the people involved say it means.

You are wrong about marriage too... at least historically. Marriage has always been an economic arrangement where a man provides resources and protection in exchange for sex. This is why your wife took your name, the ritual says that she belongs to you and that you have an obligation to protect her.

Emotional intimacy has never been a prerequisite of marriage. Many cultures did just fine with arranged marriages where there was no guarantee or even expectation of emotional intimacy.

If what you are saying is true then there should be no problem with adultery. Indeed, it should be encouraged because it is better to have sex with a young woman with nice curves instead of an old woman or a fat woman. In other words, there is no reason to develop a close personal relationship with another person. Your perspective is abhorrent to some (many) women.
No matter the means of marriage (arranged, through dating, etc.) a man and woman lose a lot if they don't relish the relationship they have with each other. It is a shame.
You are an example of why marriage is on a death bed. Dating has been turned into legal prostitution. Women want to be in a world where men are not necessary. Some in society want to pretend that there is no male and female. Our society is incredibly messed up.

What's the problem with adultery?

I don't accept the idea that one person can control the reproductive organs of another person. This is not a universal principle.

Adultery will crush the intimate relationship that can be enjoyed by a married couple.
You seen to be willing to accept less than the best for your life. People we're created for a far more abundant life than that which is experienced by animals.

You seem to be confusing "marriage" with 'intimate realationsip". They are two very different things.

There are wonderful intimate relationships that happen outside of marriage. There are marriages that aren't intimate at all.

If you are getting all you need (sexually and emotionally) from your legally assigned partner, then good for you. I have no problem with someone having great sex inside of traditional marriage. But there is nothing magical about marriage, it is a legal contract... nothing else and very often people in a bad marriage discover that they urgently want to escape.

You have a very narrow view. People in real life shouldn't be restrained in this way.

I was going to claim that I never committed adultery, but on second thought in a legal sense I did. I had split with my wife and we were living apart after a horrible marriage when I had a passionate and enjoyable sexual realtionship that lasted several months. I found this to be quite fulfilling at the time and I don't regret it.

Being in a bad marriage is not fun or fulfilling. Being trapped in a bad marriage for life with no hope for intimacy is one of the cruelest fates I can imagine.

Max
This is one problem with lacking a personal relationship with God. Marriage is far more than merely a contract between two people. It is the union of two people into one committed unit under the blessing of God.
God will provide for the emotional and physical needs of the two people involved. They are thus free to cherish one another. The ultimate expression of love is in the sexual act where each person enjoys the fellowship of each other.
The result of this love relationship is the making of a new human being.
It is far better than the alternative that you have described.

Now you are being silly.

1. I have no desire to have a third party, deity or not, involved in my sex life. When I have sex it is between me and the other person. There is no place for God.

2. I see no evidence that people who believe in God have any benefit when it comes to marriage or relationships.. Christians have affairs. Christians get caught with child porn. Christians get have gay sex with drug dealers.

God doesn't have a very good track record if you look at the lives of his followers. No thanks.

(1) O.k.
(2) Yes, neither His people (the Jews) nor His Church have a very good record of representing Him. I remember our past discussions about "fake Christians".
However, there ARE some Christians who are quite faithful.

Your claim that having a "realtionship with God" makes it more likely for a couple to have a successful or faithful marriage is statistically false.

You can have a relationship with any deity you like. But it is a lie to say that it is necessary or even helpful.

Does God help you reach orgasm?

I believe in traditional male/female roles. I lived in Pittsburgh for six years long ago. In Pittsburgh, I never owned a car because everything was covered by bus routes and if you owned a car, there was usually no place to park it. During that six years, I rode the bus thousands of times, and at no time did I ever sit down if any woman on the bus didn't have a seat. If every seat was taken and a woman got on the bus, I stood up and left the seat open for her whether she took it or not. I had no prospect of having sex with them and in many cases didn't want to. My behavior was not motivated by a desire for sex.

What is this behavior motivated by then?

We could easily imagine a person who would never sit on a bus if there was someone with a beard that was standing. That would be odd, there is nothing about having a beard (on an otherwise healthy adult) that would necesitas being seated any more than any other person.

Sure, it doesn't make sense that this is due to a desire for sex. But I don't see any other reason that makes logical sense either.

I think it’s terribly superficial.

I’m a 67 year old woman. Getting up and giving up my bus seat for any adult, of any gender, especially if disabled, elderly or pregnant was so drilled into me as a kid by my mother that it’s all I can do now to stay seated if an adult much younger than me is sitting!

It’s hilarious. My bus self is clearly still a little girl!

It is certainly helpful at the very least. A relationship with God allows for a special kind of love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness among other things. There is less motivation to insist that the other person "do something" in return for "a service provided".
Contracts are a hindrance to close personal relationships. This includes legal prostitution.