help me please

Aube--

Welcome to A2K. I'm glad you found your way to Performing Arts.

If your daughter is over 18 and in her right mind--aside from being stage-struck--there isn't much you can do.

The creep is right that she must be in Hollywood to be discovered in Hollywood. I have no way of knowing whether he will be of any practical help or whether he's using her.

Frankly, feeling the way she does, she's also using him.

Getting hurt can be a part of growing up and developing both common sense and emotional depth.

Right now, I'm more worried about your misery than about her hope.

Take care of yourself.

well what a very nice answer what you said is so true you seem like a very nice person thanks for your time

well what a very nice answer what you said is so true you seem like a very nice person thanks for your time

noddy24 Im not sure if you arer getting my reply to your great answer im new at this but what you said is so true. Thank you for your time

aube--

Thanks for the kind words.

Raising kids these days isn't easy--particularly when you have to stop hands-on parenting and turn them loose.

I wish you and your daughter the best.

Aube,

I share Noddy's concern for you; take care of yourself so you can be there for your daughter when she needs you. My parents are my rock and it's interesting; the older I get, the more grateful I am for them.

Having been 18 not too long ago, I would agree with anyone who said that kids that age rarely listen to their parents (though I would contend that most remember every word), but should your daughter seek input, here's my two cents...

It sounds like your daughter is frustrated because she believes she has no options. She puts up with this guy she doesn't even like because she feels it's her only guaranteed way to make it as an actress. The thing is, there are few guarantees in life. I'm not saying that hooking up with some guy isn't a possible path toward a career in acting; I'm just saying that it's not a guaranteed path. Nothing is. She may make it or she may not, whatever path she chooses to follow. Being happy while on the path is the only sure way to lead a happy life; focusing only on the destination can lead to unhappiness and darkness, like living the life of a use-er and use-ee.

Sorry if this isn't making sense. It's late and my sleeping habits have been off track for some time.

Anyways, this is about options. Your daughter has other options aside from living with this guy. I'm not an actor, though living in Los Angeles myself, I know a handful of aspiring actors. Some of the things they do:

1. Attend a university as a theatre major. This can be nothing but a great thing. As a theatre student, she'll gain experience and valuable feedback from professionals as well as other students. She will sharpen her acting skills and develop contacts within the industry. An aquaintance of mine recently starred in a national Wendy's commercial; his acting professor here at USC set him up with the audition! Also, being a part of a university will help her grow as a person as well as an artist; she'll be around other students seeking out their destiny like she is, and she won't be owned by any person but herself.

2. Seek out an acting or modeling agency and find out what it takes to get on board. Getting her photo and profile out there can only help; exposure seems to be really important to the acting crowd. These people can help with getting auditions and smaller gigs to pay the rent. There must be dozens of agencies here. Off the top of my head, I can mention

ICM Artists
8942 Wilshire Blvd.
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

though I know don't know too much about the place. If acting were my dream, I'd definitely check it out and ask lots of questions, though.

3. Work someplace that you might get exposure, or be "discovered." Studios, production companies, even restaurants frequented by famous people. In doing this, it is true that she may just meet some other guy who wishes to use her in the same way that she's being used right now, but she'll be less naive to that now...

My best to you and your beautiful daughter. I hope she realizes that the fact alone that she's making the ethical sacrifices of someone on the fast track to stardom does not neccissarily mean that she is on the fast track to stardom. I apologize for my cynical tone; I truly hope she gets what she wants. We could use more happy (or at least content) people here in LA!

And as for living in LA, well, I don't enjoy it much either; the transient nature of the town and it's "what can you do for me" attitude can be alot to take. As in my case, I think she'll get used to it as she realizes that it's her own choice to be here and she's in control of her own destiny.

Good luck, and take care.

-m

*******
Noddy, thanks for the warm welcome a few days ago. There are so many people here that it's difficult to acknowledge everyone; I appreciate it a lot. I hope this becomes home for me.

subtleone--

Thanks for the kind words--to everyone. I think you'll be an asset to A2K.