nevermind, you won't get it.
i am sorry.
I get it perfectly well. I understand your psychology.
You have a world view that you don't question. When you read a new theory (however crazy) that fits your world view, you accept it as truth without thinking. Then you go and look for any "connection" you find that fits your new theory as proof and reject anything that contradicts it.
You have rejected academics. You have rejected institutional science. You have rejected mass media and people with expertise. You have to reject them because you put your view of "truth" above anything else, and anything that contradicts your "truth" must be discarded.
This happens quite a bit these days... the people who are still saying Trump won the election are a lesser example of people putting their "truth" above the evidence. You can always pick out little pieces of fact and random connections to support any crazy conspiracy theory as long as you reject the rest of the evidence.
But you are a crazy extreme of this psychological phenomenon.