Naming a Pet

@izzythepush,

You don't corner the market on pain, Izzy. Maybe if you'd listen to the "experts" every great once in a while, you wouldn't be so triggered by a disagreement over naming a dog.

2 Replies

@neptuneblue,

I'm not triggered by anything I'm just sick of ignorant idiots lecturing people about something they know **** all about.

I have a brilliant relationship with my kids, so I'll carry on as normal.

You're the one that has a problem with naming a dog, you don't seem to understand that this is a situation where your simplistic truisms don't apply.

The kids had already been told they could name the dog, then two weeks later the father takes issue with it.

That's not telling the kids no, it's sloppy parenting.

Maybe if you hadn't spent such time listening to "experts" you might have been able to work that out for yourself.

1 Reply

@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

You don't corner the market on pain, Izzy.

That's quite disgusting. I don't go on about my pain at all, I get on with it. I just don't take **** from people who don't know the first thing.

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@izzythepush,

I disagree.

OP stated when she was growing up, the children got to name the animals. OP's husband already had a name picked out. OP disregarding that and allowed the children to continue calling the dog the wrong name for two weeks until the husband said no more.

I advised OP to back up her husband, tell the children to call the dog the name it was given by their father and let it go.

And that's it.

1 Reply

@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

I disagree.

OP stated when she was growing up, the children got to name the animals. OP's husband already had a name picked out. OP disregarding that and allowed the children to continue calling the dog the wrong name for two weeks until the husband said no more.

That's not what was written.

JStarck wrote:

The problem is that my husband does not like the name. He said that a few of his buddies have said that it reminds them of the e-cigarette. 2 weeks later he cannot let it go. He ended up finally telling our girls that the name was a gross name. He wants to name the dog Nala.

The husband only took issue with the name after talking to his mates. So it's not about putting the kids first or even the spouse, it's his buddies.

Similarly there's nothing to say he had the name already picked out, it's more reasonable to assume he came up with the name after his mates had rubbished the first one.

That was two weeks later, sloppy parenting. You don't tell kids they can do something and then overrule them two weeks later. If he wanted to call the dog Nala he should have done from the off, he didn't.

And all your posts from experts are a load of irrelevant bollocks.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Again, I disagree with your assessment.

Marriage is hard work, Izzy. Sometimes it's hard to know when children or a marriage comes first. I believe in this instance, it is more important to back up your spouse than it is to cause friction about something a spouse really, really wants.

2 Replies

@neptuneblue,

You disagree but you can't say why you disagree. I looked at the post in question and explained why it does not mean what you initially thought it did.

Saying I disagree and then moving on is meaningless.

I know marriage takes a lot of work, I was married for fourteen years before my wife died.

I do know that in the marriage we were supposed to be the grown ups, and leave the childish behaviour to the kids.

In this case the husband is behaving like a kid.

Instead of going off on a tangent about marriage tell me specifically why your assessment is correct and why there is a problem with my comprehension. I've been fairly clear on why I think my assessment is correct, but I can go through the post word by word if you want.

1 Reply

@neptuneblue,

Quote:

Just say no.

To me this is not the fact of not saying "No". It is they had already agreed to name the dog Jewel - they have been calling her this for a couple of weeks.

Do you have any internet searches that may say what impact saying one thing to child and then changing your mind for no other reason that you would prefer something else and decided this after the fact?

To me it is much worse and you teach your child not to trust you if you do such a thing.

0 Replies

@izzythepush,

I've already re-iterated why I disagree. But I'll recap.

OP's husband has waited six years to get a dog. He'll be taking the dog to work with him, therefore it is more his dog than the family's dog. Not to say it won't be shared or loved by the family, just that it will be a work dog.

Enter naming the new pet. OP has no set opinion of a name, only to the effect children should be responsible for naming it, Not necessarily caring for the pet, just naming it. Now, the person who will be caring for the pet and taking the pet to work has a name picked out. It is not the name the children want. Fights ensue. OP now has to make a choice on who gets to name the dog. The dog her husband has wanting for a very, very long time.

I side with the husband on this one. Every great once in a while, a spouse CAN get what they want.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

That's supposed to be some great revelation is it?

These "experts" are all the same, they take some simple truism and repackage it like it's the wisdom of the ancients.

I'd like to see them bring up two kids on their own while they're dealing with the loss of their mother.

When they can do that I might listen, but it looks very much like they're full of ****.

I agree you can pull up any sort of article on the internet to fit your argument - but it is not all size fits all. Even if the article is well documented, good info, etc. it is not one size fits all.

There are situations where you do not say "No" there are situations where you need to say "No" - does this fit the naming of a pet situation maybe, maybe not - to me this does not as they had already named the pet.

Also the other article that you posted putting your marriage in place of the children - again it depends on the particular situation. If your husband is beating your child - do you let him to save your marriage? In this case do you allow the husband to just walk all over everyone else to save a marriage (although I doubt if wife stands up - this would not kill a marriage depending how it is discussed) - do you speak to him instead and explain how going back on his word could impact the children's trust in him?

You need to have the situation fit what is best for the family overall.

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@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

Again, I disagree with your assessment.

Marriage is hard work, Izzy. Sometimes it's hard to know when children or a marriage comes first. I believe in this instance, it is more important to back up your spouse than it is to cause friction about something a spouse really, really wants.

Ok back out - and then when the next instant that the husband wants something that no one else wants in the family he will just bulldoze over everyone else again.

Let me know how this is good for the couple and the family? Dad seems to get his way no matter what else - this is what is being taught to the children.

Yes marriage is hard work - so what is wrong with mom discussing how this could impact the children (and her for that matter) that the kids will not trust him, that this (from her words at least one child needs confidence boosting) will lower her confidence for speaking up even more. To me this is how you work within a marriage - not letting husband be able to name the dog.

1 Reply

@Linkat,

Six years, Linkat. He's waited SIX YEARS,

Somehow I just don't equate that as bulldozing anything,.

1 Reply

@neptuneblue,

You have changed your story a bit, you originally said he had a name all picked out.

Presumably he was there when they got the dog, if it's going to be his dog, if not that sort of defeats the point. Assuming he was there he could have named it himself, or if allowing the kids to name it he should have said he would veto anything he didn't like. And if he was going to veto it he should have done so at the time.

He didn't, he waited for two weeks, and then only after his mates had rubbished the name. He wasn't being consistent, he was being an arsehole, and the OP is right to take the kid's side.

1 Reply

@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

Six years, Linkat. He's waited SIX YEARS,

Somehow I just don't equate that as bulldozing anything,.

His choice - is the naming of the pet more important than potentially having his children losing his trust and causing one of his children to sink even deeper to lowering her self confidence.

Personally I would give up 20 years of wanting a dog - to allow my children to name him/her. The important thing is getting the dog. He didn't seem to mind the name of the dog until his friends said something.

Now granted I don't know him - but he sounds a bit selfish. He has his dog that he was ok with the name - also the dog has gotten used to the name seems he is putting himself, his buddies in front of his children, wife and the dog he wanted for six years.

So this dog (no matter how much you love her - believe me I love my dogs) is so much more important than the well being of his children - something honestly is wrong with that.

Not sure your personal situation - but you would put your dog over and above your children?

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

You have changed your story a bit, you originally said he had a name all picked out.

Presumably he was there when they got the dog, if it's going to be his dog, if not that sort of defeats the point. Assuming he was there he could have named it himself, or if allowing the kids to name it he should have said he would veto anything he didn't like. And if he was going to veto it he should have done so at the time.

He didn't, he waited for two weeks, and then only after his mates had rubbished the name. He wasn't being consistent, he was being an arsehole, and the OP is right to take the kid's side.

This seems fair to all -

This is pretty much how we handled the naming of our dog(s) - we all had veto power in a sense - so if there was a name that any of us really did not like we did not use that name.

He did not do this - otherwise the dog would not be called Jewel for 2 weeks.

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@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

Not sure your personal situation - but you would put your dog over and above your children?

No, you don't know my personal situation. That's because I don't plaster the internet with every little ******* problem my children have. I have a husband. He's the light of my life. And I sure as hell want him happy and healthy. If naming a dog keeps him happy, then yes, he gets to name the dog.

OP's kids are 8 & 4, Might as well start them in therapy they need now because they didn't get their way naming a DOG. Yes, I'm sure that will be the biggest disappointment EVER.

2 Replies

@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

Linkat wrote:
Not sure your personal situation - but you would put your dog over and above your children?

No, you don't know my personal situation. That's because I don't plaster the internet with every little ******* problem my children have. I have a husband. He's the light of my life. And I sure as hell want him happy and healthy. If naming a dog keeps him happy, then yes, he gets to name the dog.

OP's kids are 8 & 4, Might as well start them in therapy they need now because they didn't get their way naming a DOG. Yes, I'm sure that will be the biggest disappointment EVER.

So you don't have children then -

And sometimes people post on her to get advice on their children. There is nothing wrong with that - that is what this forum is about - trying to help one another whether it is children, something you need fixed on your house, something with work.

Not sure what you are so angry about - why do I know your angry because of your cursing and your capital letters.

One would guess that there is something else going on behind the scenes because your reactions to this really do not match what is going. From the sounds of this there is something deeper and personal so it is difficult to discuss this reasonably.

I honestly wish you the best and hope there is not something big behind this what appears to be misplaced anger.

1 Reply

@Linkat,

You must have missed the part about "my children."

The rest is adult conversation. Try it, you might like it.

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@chai2,

Bingo - which coincidentally enough, was the name of Nala's dog.

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@neptuneblue,

So your kids'll get over their trauma of a childish dad when they have children of their own to ignore and over a dog's name at that. I'm glad you weren't my mom and I'm glad the OP's dad wasn't my dad, too.

0 Replies

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